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Ryan

@ryansoucie.bsky.social
686 followers 2.6K following 521 posts

My posts and opinions should not reflect on my employer: Extensive Enterprises I return shopping carts. You should be kind because it’s the right thing to do. nec deus nec dominus Cabot Cove, ME “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”

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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Thanks to quantum mechanics The One, starring Jet Li, Delroy Lindo, and Jason Statham is more scientifically accurate than Back to the Future. #doubleslitThuglife
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Eric Schmitt cross examining Babe Ruth in a congressional hearing: “Isn’t it true you met with Al Capone to plan crimes after one of your baseball games? I’ve got texts from your associates saying you played with the Sox… obviously the White Sox in Chicago…”
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Oh so that’s why Susan Collins has voted in lock step with this administration.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Optimus Prime too?! We’re fucked.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Fucking fuck! Again, the wrong person.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Alright. Time to shut it all down. We lost a good one. Fucking bleak out there.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I just watched the new Spider-Man and I’m shook. Just like the Odyssey, Brand New Day is not historically accurate at all! Casting Matt Damon as Gwen Stacy was refreshing, though. 10/10 would see again.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Bad reviews for the new Halo game and Microsoft has decided to take Xbox online services offline for a bit?
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Ah cool FedEx lost another package. If your infrastructure and logistics are so bad you lose 1 in 3 packages you should fire your C suite and start over.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Dang.
static.klipy.com
Jurassic Park Alan Grant
Alt: Jurassic Park Alan Grant stating the obvious about the US right now. RIP
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
static.klipy.com
Star Trek: Dr. Bones and Spock Look On
Alt: Star Trek: Dr. Bones saying He’s dead, Jim.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I spoke with him yesterday, about foreign policy
Picture of a spirit box EVP device used for ghost hunting.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Ok, Troy Jackson, let’s go! The establishment Ds won’t pick him because he’s too rural for Washington DC and isn’t moderate enough. The guy has been arrested for protesting. He’s put himself on the line for what he believes in. He is to Maine what Susan Collins is to greedy Washington insiders.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Fortnite is broken with the number of cheaters. So dumb
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Just heard Mamdani has asked people in New York City to turn off non essential electrical devices and set the AC to 78 so that the electricity grid is not overwhelmed and more people can stay cool during the heatwave. As a non New Yorker I’m apoplectic with grievance. In this seven thousand part
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Is it just me or is the Reflecting Pool a metaphor for this administration?
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
I feel like, with Aragorn being recast, we need a mash up of clips of Viggo Mortensen in character paired with Outro by M83. Hopefully with that helmet kick.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
With the new information coming out this weekend, between the filing, recordings and now released bodycam footage, it’s beginning to look like BaM is entering the legally fucked territory. Discovery is going to be brutal. “It’s going to cost more than your set is worth”
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Thinking of starting a business where I buy and sell Lego bricks and mini figures. What sets my idea apart from the current market leader is we won’t steal entire collections and try to act normal about it.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Oh snap he’s going to be posting in a frenzy tonight
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Bad news everyone. It looks like Susan Collins has locked in the Nazi pedophile support for her reelection. If collins was able to feel shame she’d be ashamed at the lying ads that are being run by the pacs supporting her. She should resign and drop out.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
How do I use one of those not gambling websites to bet that I won’t win the Powerball tonight?
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Thinking of going to one of those TOTALLY NOT GAMBLING, TRUST US BRO! websites and making a bet that congress won’t do anything.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
Fortnite players: Epic, can you do something about the cheaters? Epic: best I can do is charge you more for V-Bucks and remove the lifetime bans we already gave to cheaters.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Oh shit oh fuck we’re in trouble
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
Anyway, the symbiote suit is in brand new day.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Any member of congress not taking action after the executive branch, lacking any constitutional authority to do so, has put us into another Middle East war, is violating their oath to The Constitution and is unfit for office. They are all greedy cowards.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 07/02/2026
Tron Ares: so bad
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
#Magnetowasright
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
@senangusking.bsky.social any chance you could be moved to do your job? I know it’s asking a lot. But could you try?
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
Amazon web services are down. That means no Fortnite tonight. Fuck Jeff bozo for making all his employees pee in bottles. He looks like temu pitbull. Everyone laughs at him when he leaves every room he’s ever in. Sucks someone has to fix the servers on Christmas. Hope they’re getting triple pay.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
Dear TSA agents with the audacity not to show up for work when you’re not getting paid: hell yeah! No one should be working for free while congress keeps cashing their own checks.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
Fortnite: please pay us 15$ for a skin! Also Fortnite: we have anti cheat software in place but we can’t ban cheating! They buy our skins Also Fortnite: we have no money to get our servers running. Please buy skins!
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 27/10/2025
It’s 2025. I log into Fortnite. My skin is Snake-Eyes from GI Joe. Joan Jett & the Blackhearts i love rock ’n’ roll is playing as I jump off the Battle Bus just after Kang and Kodos from the Simpsons fly by. I’m defeated by Bat-man and Scooby Doo.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
One of my favorite YouTube channels is @secretgalaxy.bsky.social Check it out.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
Cobra!
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
The best Doritos are spicy nacho. You cannot change my mind. Unless you pay me. That would change my mind.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
Sorry followers, I have been in my cups again. Sorry if I say anything offensive. I apologize to my employer, Extensive Enterprises, in advance.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
In general I will follow you back. Unless you are an obvious bot. If you fool me into thinking you are not a bot I will totally follow you back.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
So 3I/ATLAS? Is this the first act of a sci fi horror where we are all doing normal life stuff and the governments of the world are ignoring the incoming threat? Someone ask Jeff Goldblum. I need to know if I can stop recycling and start panicking.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 03/08/2025
Watching Zack Snyder’s Superman movies and I really think there should be a reality TV show of Henry Cavill doing nerd shit. Like painting miniatures, building gaming rigs or talking about fantasy books. The world’s on fire we need this.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 27/07/2025
Just heard the Trump Admin has made a trade deal with the Kingdom of Lordaeron. Apparently HHS is going to be passing out grains directly from our new ally. See, maga isn’t a death cult at all.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
What is this week doing? Fuck
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
This is the week to follow @1996id4.bsky.social
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
From an honest FB marketplace listing
FOR SALE: $1,000 MONTGOMERY CONFEDERATE BILL – PERFECT FOR WIPING TEARS OF SOUTHERN FAILURE

Tired of having too much common sense and not enough cursed paper in your life? Boy, do I have the financial relic for YOU.

This $1,000 Montgomery Confederate bill is 100% authentic and 1000% useless — just like the economy it represented. Printed during that brief, spicy moment in history when a bunch of Southern guys thought they could secede, fight the North, and keep their free labor all while rocking frock coats and bad haircuts.

It’s Juneteenth, baby — the day we celebrate America finally reading the fine print on the Emancipation Proclamation — and what better way to honor freedom than by selling a piece of currency from a time when the South was high on treason and low on math?

This note is:

Worthless at any bank,

Useful only for bar bets and lighting cigars in dramatic villain fashion,

Guaranteed to get you side-eyed at BBQs and probably banned from Black Twitter.


Features:

A picture of a building nobody remembers.

Ink made from the tears of confused plantation owners.

Smells faintly of mothballs, regret, and whiskey-soaked racism. Use it to:

Tip your local Civil War reenactor.

Frame it and hang it above your toilet, where it belongs.

Roll it up and snort your dignity away.


Asking $1,000 for this $1,000 bill — a 100% return on zero investment. Think of it as a historic conversation piece or a really awkward family heirloom. No PayPal. No Venmo. Just cold, hard, untraceable Yankee cash.

Will trade for:

A functional sense of shame.

Juneteenth-themed potato salad.

Literally anything that doesn’t scream “We lost, but we’re still weirdly proud of it.”


DM me, or send a carrier pigeon with your best offer. First come, first uncomfortably served.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
How many news articles are titled something like “How Zohran Mamdani’s primary win spells trouble for Democrats and Biden” or is the media being normal about it?
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
If you aren’t listening to the new Miley Cyrus album right now what are you even doing with your life?
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
In case anyone needs to know: Rey Skywalker
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
Moon at 3 AM. The witching hour.
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Ryan @ryansoucie.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
This was a commission.
Sunrise inspired painting. Colors range from crimson at the bottom to dark blue at the top. 

“We need to be reminded sometimes that a sunrise lasts but a few minutes. But its beauty can burn in our hearts eternally.”

-R.A. Salvatore
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