iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

weird how i don't got much to say about this actual issue while i usually prattle on about less important things for paragraphs on end, ig i'm so desensitized to dealing with my bros fighting all the time it doesnt even bother me

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

i got nothing to say, just that i had to deal with my brothers fighting again and had to clean the mess lmaoooo

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

that my current only form of validation's either drawing porn or being good at games reaaaally says a lot about how things are like for me

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

kinda crazy pathetic its taken losing on brawl stars to make me like genuine buttangry at how my life's become lmao

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

i actually feel super pathetic rn, like i'm literally feeling like i could do more and put myself out there but i just don't fucking know how to do that. that group's still there having fun and messing around and i just left because i felt worse the more time passed

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

to be fairrr it was like 2+ hrs midsession in some horror mod and i barely announced myself before joining. and most of the ppl i've never met beforehand but like i still feel like i was kinda glossed over?? maybe i should've been more vocal?? genuinely i'm so bad at this i'm blaming myself lmao

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

huh ok. decided i would take the initiative and join a group minecraft session with a few friends and others to see hey maybe it isn't as bad as i keep thinking. ended up being kinda left behind with no one filling me in on what was happening and barely being acknowledged. that was fun.

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

i'm still gonna try to proceed with managing depression thru my doctor but i dunno if that'll ever help fix my self-esteem issues or socialization but yeag one step at a time or whatever

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

i'm ashamed to say but part of the reason why i wanted to draw was thinking it was an easy out for convo, like hey cool ppl now see i draw cool stuff!! that'll surely make it easy to be their friends! fucking lmaooo i wish it were that easy

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

its not even that i'm not interested!! i just genuinely don't know what to say!!! how do people do this shit. even with ppl I'm familiar with, i can't say much that isn't either venting or shared interests. genuinely drives me insane not knowing how tf to talk to ppl

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

i really really want to try. i want to reconnect with old friends and try to reignite that old friendship we once had. i just wish i knew what to say or do because i genuinely draw blanks on what to say. 90% of convos tend to be sharing what happened over the years then going "👍" and fucking off

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

i had so many opportunities handed to me where its like "hey shitface these guys think ur cool, hang out with them" but then my inner anxiety goes "nah actually u suck, they don't care for u" and literally fuck things up by distancing myself from those ppl, its happened again and again and again....

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

like i get it, life's not over yet and there's still plenty of time to accomplish things but i genuinely believe there's a point of no return for most friend groups. like once they're past their 20s, the friend circle has solidified and you can't hope to penetrate that with just small talk and memes

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

i genuinely crash out when i see moots and long-time friends who have years and years of camaraderie because that could've been me but now i'm 32 and its never gonna fucking happen lmfao

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

ngl i have no idea if treating my depression is gonna fix my fundamentally flawed social skills, i genuinely believe i'm unable to form deep connections. years of missing out on formative moments and friendships because i'm too shy to say anything,,

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

quick update: my bro cooled off THANKFULLY and we're back to status quo more or less, should be getting paid back and all that still fumed about how things went but at least i'm not getting the misery piled on even further

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

i'm just so fucking tired man. i just want to wake up not feeling like shit for once. well, til next time, ol vent account (which may well be very soon)

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

now to figure out how i'm going to sleep because i share my room with my bro. either go to bed and hear him whine about his shitass cards and how i ruined it, or avoid him and sleep on the couch when its 80f with only a dinky fan to cool me off. nevermind the college situation...

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

there's more i can say but i deadass had to reevaluate what i was saying since it was teetering on being outright evil. at the end of the day, family is still family and i can't bear to go THAT far with my bro. at most, i just wish he'd leave, whether voluntary or otherwise, and thats it.

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

not even being hyperbolic: i think 90% of my current stress and problems would go away if my bro fucking left LMAO to wit, if he were gone: i wouldn't get bothered with requests, i'd have more money, i'd have my own room, i'd sleep on my own time, my family would be happier, the list goes on

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

i dunno man i can spend all day going on and on about how much of a miserable pos my bro is but its not like anything will change. due to our ~family dynamics~, i'm more or less forced to roll with this even though literally everyone agrees he's a genuine soul-sucking presence wherever he goes

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

i'm not saying I'M any better since i have to unfortunately retreat back to the family home after losing my job but at least i'm out there trying to make things work. i'm going to college and doing shit that needs to be done. i help around the family and assist with paying bills. that's SOMETHING!!

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

he owes me so much money because i constantly bail him out thinking he's paying me back but he rarely does. only after months of "oh just wait til this item sells" do i FINALLY get it back, but then he immediately goes back to "gimme money i need to pay for my credit cards" like why even pay me back

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

dude's a genuine fuckin loser. literally lost thousands and thousands on crypto and trading cards and all this all that. lost a shitload of jobs over the years for the most inane shit. currently stays at home being a jobless leech that makes everyone around him miserable like some bridge troll

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

the worst part is that he's unfortunately also my ride to college and now he's being a petty bitch about that too!! used to be that he'd drop me off and pick me up, now he's all "i'm dropping you off but you better get a bus back because i'm not picking you up" fuckin gormless

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

so OF COURSE i tell him i didn't give a shit about his cards!! i wasn't the right person to do this!! but still he gets mad at me and blames me because ohhh you did everything without checking if its good ooohhh its so obvious you should've known better ooohhhhh genuinely brain yourself bro

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

now he's pissed and reconsidering only paying me back once one of his stupid get rich quick schemes ever come into play. considering he is currently in deep debt and has no money, and the money he DOES have generally goes to fucking fortnite?? i might not see my money lmfao

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

genuinely i couldn't care less about card grading. i never wanted to help and i told him multiple times this is something i am not knowledgeable at. he knows this, yet sends me to do it, then when things inevitably fuck up, its all "YOU'RE FUCKIN STUPID YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER" whinewhinebitchbitch

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

what ends up happening is he makes me do things out of my expertise (i.e. card grading), does barely anything to help me, doesn't pay me until he makes money (he never does), and expects me to be passionate about this and perfect and wonderful to him!!! and if i fuck up, its all my fault weeee

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

this is something my bro does a LOT. he is genuinely honest to god pants-on-head retarded and cannot do the most basic shit by himself so he offloads the "smart" stuff to me. i never want to help but he's such a toxic presence i can't decline without him bitching about it so i suck it up and do it

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

i told his ass i was not into card grading for shit. he came up to me asking for help KNOWING i didn't know about how card grading works. and he blames me for making such an "obvious" mistake for something I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO HELP HIM WITH

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

now my bro's livid that i "messed everything up" for something i DID NOT KNOW ABOUT and DEFINITELY told him about before i sent it in. it was a year ago so neither of us remember but i'm sure he fucked up and didn't know either. dude straight up doesn't want to take accountability and blames me!!

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

now for the fun part: PSA doesn't show u the card grades until AFTER u pay the return shipping so we didn't know what the results were until after i paid just today and tl;dr i messed up a certain card's grading because i put it in the wrong category and now my bro's absolutely pissed for it

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

anyways he was a poor lil bitch and didn't have money to pay for the return shipping so the cards sat at PSA for a year until he could scrounge up $465 (not even that much lmao) and nothing on that end. ff to now: he wants to get those cards but he's still poor so I stupidly decide to pay for him

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

setting the stage: a year ago, my bro wanted to get his trading cards graded so he wanted me to help him send them to PSA for grading. problem is, I have zero idea how the grading process goes and tell him as such. he helps me with setting the cards up online and all goes well...

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

wooo didn't think i'd need to vent again so soon but my bro has proven yet again how absolutely amazing he is at being a giant ungrateful pissant who takes no responsibility and shunts problems onto me for shit i don't even care about

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

forgot to say, i read the comments and appreciate them! i just dunno what to say that wouldn't be "thanks" but bless u to those that reply to my plights <3

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

with that, i leave this account to collect dust until i need to scream into the void again please god bsky make priv accounts dear god i don't need the algo to point normies and bots to me seriously

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

honestly i should stop here and salvage whatever dignity i still have (assuming anyone's invested enough to get this far), life is life, shit happens, etc etc maybe once i get my medications and shit going, things might get better but who knows wah wah

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

so YEA i shouldn't be sad!! i've done great art before!! i cooked!! i can do that again right??? like shit i think my subconscious knows this too because once i wake up the next day, i'm gonna cringe at how whiny i sounded (ngl i'm cringing even now)

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

i think the worst part about this is that technically speaking, i'm doing "ok". like, i have a home, food, money, and am not worried about having to pay rent, medical bills, etc. i have the privilege to be here bitching about superficial things without worrying if i'm gonna make ends meet

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

really there's just so much more things that gnaw at me at a daily basis that i can't even begin to cover, this is like tip of the iceberg kinda shit, i am legitimately a few steps away from a mental breakdown at my worst moments. i wish!!! that my only problem was simply being unmotivated to draw

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

like i don't even have any other hobbies. most of my time is spent doomscrolling on here or reddit and playing the same handful of games by myself, and both things are just making me feel more miserable. i deadass have no idea what imma do if i lose my will to draw lmao

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

i'm deathly scared of the idea i'm not built for drawing because i've wanted to be an artist for a majority of my life and losing that passion is genuinely terrifying because I have literally nothing else i'm passionate for

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

cont: there really is just so many factors as to why I feel so fucked rn, between the clinical depression, executive dysfunction, lack of sleep, family issues, overall frustrations at just how I handle my art and workflow guhhh

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Ruu's Designated Venting Area @ruuvent.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

hi hello to the 2 people actually interested, i'll be posting nothing but venting here, no arts or nothing!

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