iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Paul @rudemrlang.com · 27/09/2026

This week in BORING OLD GAY, I’m agog at seeing Dallas in glorious HD, celebrating one of Scotland’s greatest sitcoms and shamelessly showing off two books with my name on them… boringoldgay.substack.com/p/dallas-doc...

Image of Sue Ellen Ewing in HD. HEadline: Dallas, Doctor Who and Double Sausage Suppers. Boring Old Gay #13 - Happy Returns…

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 26/09/2026

This sounds like my actual worst nightmare.

A 90-minute sober dance experience with a live DJ playing a wave of ambient, tribal, disco, soul and deep house. No choreography to learn. It's you, your unique expression, the music and your new Pleasure Pals for the afternoon. All bodies, ages and backgrounds come to Pleasure Medicine. This is a space of love and inclusion for all GBTQ+ men. If you're even thinking "is this for me?" it's probably a yes.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 20/09/2026

Enjoyed seeing this in Doctor Who Magazine this month, although it’s weird to see stuff I invented FAIRLY RECENTLY I’M SURE now being revived as retro.

Doctor Who Adventures-style comic strip cliffhanger panel.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 17/09/2026

Brigadier Terence Clarke MP invents Comptons.

If we are to allow this sort of thing to occur, would my hon. Friend be happy to go into a public house and find a couple of hairy old males sitting on each other's knees and liking it? Is that what we are going to allow?

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 17/09/2026

Godfrey Lagden, Conservative MP for Hornchurch, speaking in 1960 against decriminalisation of homosexuality:

We may well be in the position, if we do what we are asked to do, of seeing notices outside anyone's house saying, 'Homosexual experiences can be had within.' So far as I can judge, legally there would be nothing to prevent that.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 02/09/2026

Sounds like you’re fucked every which way then, eh James?

James Cleverly: 'We can win big' in London mayor election with classic Tories policies
Exclusive: 'Personal attributes are at least as important as party affiliations, that's how you win London, the former Home Secretary tells The Standard

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 30/08/2026

This week in BORING OLD GAY, I’m celebrating 23 years in London, struggling with the complexities of modern doorbells and getting unexpectedly hot under the collar in M&S… boringoldgay.substack.com/p/london-liv...

LONDON LIVING
DOORBELL DING-DONGS AND
SHORT SHORTS

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 29/08/2026

Inside they’re asked who they’d most like to shit on if they were actual birds.

HO HO, WHƠ'D YOU MOST LIKE TO DO A BIRD WHOOPSIE ON?
LINDA: Hahahahahaa
PAULINE: Oooh, hol Probably the person that thought up that question!
I'm too nice to want to do anything like that!

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 29/08/2026

Another truly demented Fast Forward cover. Bear in mind this magazine was for 8-12 year olds.

Fast Forward magazine with Pauline Quirke and Linda Robson on the cover. Headline Yippee! The birds are back, with the giant word SQUAAWK! underneath.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 28/08/2026

When I was a lad you had to go to a dodgy newsagents in a rough part of town to access images like this.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 22/08/2026

Me when I leave the house feeling good about myself.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 22/08/2026

Even that Stratford war you reported on had the same aesthetic.

Stratford War poster with tell-tale AI brush lettering

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 21/08/2026

This year’s Doctor Who Annual is out now, compiled and designed by me and packed with new material plus the best bits from the last 20 editions remixed for the space year 2027! #doctorwho

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 18/08/2026

Not a duff song on it!

artwork for Belinda Carlisle The Best of Belinda Volume 1

Reverse of Best of Belinda with the track list.

Heaven Is a Place on Earth
(We Want) The Same Thing
Circle in the Sand
Leave a Light On
Little Black Book
Summer Rain (7" Edit)
Vision of You
Live Your Life Be Free
I Get Weak
La Luna
I Plead Insanity
World Without You
Do You Feel Like I Feel?
Half the World
Runaway Horses

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 14/08/2026

When you know, you know.

Green power ranger’s downstairs area in Lycra

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 14/08/2026

The dog’s been a bit stressed since our house move so we got him some turkey and hemp calming treats, but now he’s absolutely fucking jonesing for them all day, hanging around the drawer where they’re kept looking mournful.

Black greyhound sniffing pooch & mutt treats

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 14/08/2026

Hot font take; the old Instagram logo was equally illegible, you just knew what it said because you knew what it said.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 14/08/2026

Using this picture of Farage is definitely a choice, given that he didn’t even show his weasel face at the count.

Nigel Farage stands at a lectern looking powerful and confident with dramatic lighting behind him.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 13/08/2026

Best promo pic OF ALL TIME.

Jane Asher lies backwards down a staircase

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 13/08/2026

The face of a woman who was in Eldorado, Di Marco-era Eastenders AND the Jane Asher version of Crossroads.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 13/08/2026

Hoping @jim.londoncentric.media can get something done about this terrifying London gift shop window Mr Bean.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 13/08/2026

Jane Asher version of Crossroads.

Crossroads promo shot showing Angel Sampson, played by Jane Asher, and her family in front of a Christmas tree.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 10/08/2026

My dog loves to be out.

Greyhound creating smiling shadow on wall.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 02/08/2026

On BORING OLD GAY this week, I investigate my new gaybourhood, vow to never attend Brighton Pride again, and accidentally end up owing ten grand to a criminal in Manchester. open.substack.com/pub/boringol...

Village People, Violent Voice Notes and Very Bad Pride Trips
BORINGOLDGAY.SUBSTACK.COM
Boring Old Gay

Image shows a fox perched on a window box

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 01/08/2026

We had it on cassette so for a long time I thought they were a duo.

Abba Greatest Hits artwork showing only Agnetha and Björn sitting on a bench.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 20/07/2026

Yes that is absolutely definitely what THIS house looks like inside.

Tatty-looking house with Jack and Vera Duckworth-style stone cladding

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 20/07/2026

One thing I forgot to mention when writing about the hell that is renting in London in 2026 is that agents are now putting up AI-assisted pictures of properties. So misleading and should definitely be banned.

Pictures of a grotty house in Lee that has been ChatGPT'd to look like a dream home.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 19/07/2026

This week on BORING OLD GAY, I’m celebrating a boring infrastructure project, lamenting London’s rental market, admiring some truly terrible television titles and discovering that apparently my dog is too gay for one dickhead on a Lime bike… open.substack.com/pub/boringol...

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 17/07/2026

I’m moving next week so if anyone was thinking of getting me a housewarming gift…

Pink table in the shape of a Highland Cow

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 12/07/2026

IMPORTANT UPDATE: we got the dog a bow tie to wear for his birthday.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 12/07/2026

This week on my Substack, I’m declaring war on orderly lines in pubs, celebrating pop music excellence and planning birthday celebrations for my dog, who is 5 today! open.substack.com/pub/boringol...

Picture of Sidcup station. Text:

Single-File Seething, Synth Lines & Sausages
Boring Old Gay #6 - Let's take a ride and queue with the dogs tonight in suburbia
Boring Old Gay

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 11/07/2026

I also did this recently.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 10/07/2026

You always know sales have been slow when Lady Di gets a cover.

Hello magazine this week with Princess Diana cover

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 06/07/2026

I recently ordered a mat for my dog from someone called Cat so the email updates have been really confusing me.

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Paul @rudemrlang.com · 05/07/2026

This week on my Substack, I'm recovering from Pride, confronting my fear of the dance floor, watching two titans of camp conquer the West End and looking on agog at the sight of some teeny-tiny Soleros… boringoldgay.substack.com/p/dance-floo...