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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

If I were packages stuck in Swindon for a day or 2 I'd disappear as well.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

When you use Royal Mail, next day delivery is NEVER guaranteed! We guarantee it!

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Clearly a mistake, he must have been trying to get rid of your packages and mistakenly delivered it. Won't happen again!

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Hi Eva, real person here! Unfortunately this isn't the real Royal Mail account, it's a parody. Sad display when a parody is more responsive than the real thing. The "real" Royal Mail is too busy hollowing out its own corpse to bother helping any of us filthy peons.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 01/11/2025

I remember the chafed nipples from those terrible shirts all too well.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 01/11/2025

You can tell I'm a parody account because I actually responded to your post

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 01/11/2025

Quick reminder that this is a parody account and complaining to me isn't going to get your packages delivered faster. Now that I think about it, complaining to the real Royal Mail won't do anything of substance so crack on.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 01/11/2025

Are you sure you used Royal Mail? We don't normally manage to deliver within the first month so count yourself lucky.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

Hang up and call someone who gives a shit because Royal Mail does not.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

Hi I issued this instruction because I thought it was funny Teehee whoopsie

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

Probably would've been better driving the distance to pick it up in the middle of a shift ;)

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

Wouldn't wanna fight you Ian don't worry, moreso aimed at the higher ups than anything else ✌️

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

Your package belongs to me now

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

Two things are bugging me right now 1. Why can't people read that this is a parody account? 2. You're complaining because you need to register for a service to use said service? I hate royal mail as much as the next person but you're very clearly just a cunt

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

I think Royal Mail are a bunch of wankers to be honest.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

As someone who previously worked within a Royal Mail Depot. Delivery drivers are known to steal packages with obvious branding e.g Apple as their internal investigations tend to fall short of identifying anyone.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

Just a friendly reminder that: Royal Mail could not give less of a shit about you, your mail or the services they provide you. 1/3 of royal mail first class mail isn't delivered on time. Use ANY other service and your post might actually arrive.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

Arguably a mercy not gonna lie

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

Royal Mail is a big enough joke without my help

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 18/04/2025

Give it a few months and you won't be able to post internationally without a license

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

i could probably win in a boxing match versus any royal mail employee

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

The real royal mail wouldn't dare show their face here, cowards. I'm the stronger Royal Mail in every regard.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 03/04/2025

Sounds like an issue with your devices CPU overheating Mike! We'd recommend placing it in a bowl of water for 5 minutes to cool it down.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

We don't give a single shit about your parcel, sorry not sorry.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

Happens way more often than you'd think :)

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

Have you considered that maybe our drivers have better things to do than their jobs? People are so selfish these days.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Honestly it is absolutely disgraceful that a company with a history as decorated as the Royal Mail is treating both the public and their own employees like dirt. Is your daughter part of a union or able to contact a union representative? This might be something she can contest

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Heard you loud and clear, we will be terminating your daughter without pay! No more problems after that, right Kate?

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

We like to keep our replies as true to the real Royal Mail's level of service as possible!

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

If you think that's bad you should see the posties that intercept the drug packages

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Alright Matt we know you're ordering sex toys get off of your high horse

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Matt you're such a wetboy it hurts

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Sorry we don't post to active war zones

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 30/12/2024

Don't even bother using our services! We will lose your package! We will not tell you we lost your package! We are genuinely the most useless service around so good luck getting anything from us! And remember we don't give a fuck about you!

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

I think you need retraining in reading my friend

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

I can assure you that even if the postcode was correct we'd still find a way to fuck it up.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

I'm sure our driver just got caught up testing your medication for you. A high postie is a happy postie!

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

Royal Mail is meant to deliver at least 93% of first class mail within one working day, and 98.5% of second class post within three working days. However, in the year to the end of March it missed both targets, reaching figures of just 74.7% and 92.7% respectively.

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Royal Mail @royal-mail.bsky.social · 19/12/2024