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Roonie the Rabbit

@rooniecomics.bsky.social

177 followers 301 following 1K posts

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Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 6h

I got stuff to say. | Join for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT: So I added more jelly, which you'd think would make the sandwich messy, but it didn't! So I thought, "How about honey?" And I- | SQUIRREL: Do you have a point? | RABBIT: No. Not really. | RABBIT: But... I hope to, one day.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

How I cook. | Read by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT (thinking): I have two simple rules for cooking. | RABBIT (thinking): Use fresh, delicious ingredients. | The rabbit eats everything in the kitchen. | RABBIT (thinking): And cook faster than you eat.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

My outlook is based on historical data. | Get exclusive comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT: You need to have a more positive outlook on your life. | An EGG hits the squirrel square in the face. | The squirrel falls off the tree. | RABBIT: Actually... you may have it about right.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Achieve your artistic goals. | Subscribe for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

A bird stands before a painting. BIRD: I'm trying to capture movement in this piece. | The fox walks over to the painting. | The fox hurls the painting off the bough of the tree. | FOX: Mission accomplished.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Time to get real. | Become a member: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL (in verse): Fall trees shed their leaves, And they face reality, Brave and unburdened. | ANN THE TREE: (sigh) Kevin, I'm 45 years old. It's time to get real. I will NEVER be a child prodigy. | KEVIN THE TREE: A prodigy at what, Ann? ANN THE TREE: I don't know. I never had talent or committed or practiced or actually focused on anything. | KEVIN THE TREE: Well, you know... it's all politics. ANN THE TREE: Yes! Yes it is. THANK you, Kevin! THANK you!

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Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Perseverance is for suckers. | Never miss a comic: patreon.com/portermason/...

FOX (thinking): If at first you don't succeed... | A pause as the fox stares at their violin. | FOX (thinking): Quit and tell no one.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Best to be safe. | Get free comic emails: patreon.com/portermason/...

LIZARD (thinking): I heard a noise! | LIZARD (thinking): It's probably nothing. | LIZARD (thinking): But I better stay up the entire night and remain frightened for the rest of my life. | LIZARD (thinking): Just to be on the safe side.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

When you get lost in a book. | Join the Patreon: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL (thinking): I love getting lost in a book. | RABBITL Hey, how's it going? SQUIRREL: Oh! | The squirrel is getting sucked inside the book, their skin turns fully to words printed on pages. SQUIRREL: Wh- I... Uh... | SQUIRREL IN BOOK (thinking): But now I can't find my way out.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I mean, it too, but then by proxy me anyway. | Read members-only comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

SHELKEY: I hope they like this song. I need them to like me. | SHELKEY: I mean IT. I need them to like IT. | SHELKEY: (sigh) | SHELKEY: I mean me.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Trees have stuff going on. | Get comics by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL (thinking): I love early fall... The trees look unsure. Like a bride picking a dress. Frozen by choices. | TREE: No, NO! I'm not unsure, I'm SURE, I'm... I'm SURE. I definitely want red leaves! Wait, no! Orange! No, yellow! Is it too late to say green? | FWUMP! The tree loses all its leaves at once. | TREE: OK, OK... I don't... HATE it. MAMA TREE: Oh MIJA, you look PERFECT! AUNTIE TREES: Mi sobrina linda!!!

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

There's a clear choice. | Join for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

LIZARD (thinking): Should I do the simple task in front of me that I am putting off? | LIZARD (thinking): Or... | LIZARD (thinking): Rethink my entire concept of how I accomplish tasks in general? | LIZARD (thinking): I took the hard way out.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

No doubt. | Read by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL: You think very highly of yourself, don't you? FOX: Doesn't everyone? | SQUIRREL: No, a lot of people have a lot of doubts about themselves. | FOX: Oh right, sure... | FOX: But they're all on the same page about how awesome I am, right?

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Inconceivable! | Get exclusive comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT: MMPH! A good snack... It can change your whole outlook. | SQUIRREL: What about a bad snack? | The rabbit pauses. | RABBIT: I don't believe such a thing exists.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

You need to focus to be lazy. | Subscribe for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

running | ROONIE: I better take it easy. | ROONIE: I have a long day of doing nothing tomorrow, and I need to be well rested.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Every single copy of the rooniebook.com arrived from the printer! Thanks to Edgar from UPS (who then got an autographed copy for his kids) and to my daughter who brilliantly documented the delivery.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

My mood is changed when measured. | Become a member: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT: Are you feeling down today? | SQUIRREL: No... not really. | A pause. | SQUIRREL: But I could be convinced.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

It's a free pass to be a jerk! | Never miss a comic: patreon.com/portermason/...

ROONIE: You should treat people how you want to be treated. | FLYNN: Mmm, that's a bad rule. | FLYNN: I don't think much of myself.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Waiting for applause. | Get free comic emails: patreon.com/portermason/...

BIRD (thinking): The world will one day celebrate my genius. | SQUANK! A bird makes a huge loud obnoxious sound. | The bird waits for huge applause, but hears nothing. | BIRD (thinking): But for now, they're just playing it cool.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

When your friends get you. | Join the Patreon: patreon.com/portermason/...

ROONIE: This year, for your birthday, we canceled your party. | FLYNN: Happy birthday, buddy. None of us are coming over later. | click | HOT CHOCOLATE: They GET me.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Tautologies suck. | Read members-only comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

BIRD (thinking): Writers write. | BIRD (thinking): Every day. | BIRD (thinking): No matter what. | BIRD (thinking): What a bunch of huge, overachieving JERKS...

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

When you're sick. | Get comics by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL (thinking): I'm sick. | SQUIRREL (thinking): I've been stuck inside for days, and I miss seeing my friends. | SQUIRREL: sigh. | SQUIRREL (thinking): Even the ones I don't like.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I am rational. | Join for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT: Do you believe in me? SQUIRREL: I believe you EXIST. | SQUIRREL: I don't think you're, like... a figment of my IMAGINATION. | RABBIT: But do you believe I can accomplish my goals? | SQUIRREL: Let's... just stick to the facts.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

What it means to be a scientist. | Read by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

A skink examines a bug with a magnifying glass. SKINK (thinking): I am a scientist. I watch. I question. I think of answers. I test my answers. | SKINK (thinking): I understand an immense amount about the world and those who live in it. | On a far away hill, a rabbit waves to the skink. SKINK (thinking): But... I am also shy. | The skink hides in a hold in the ground. SKINK (thinking): So mainly I just hide in this hole and don't talk to anybody.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Pollinators = wingmen. | Get exclusive comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

A bee buzzes from one flower to another. | KARLI THE BEE: (sigh) Hey Lisa... Ethan, wants to know if you're interested in, um, maybe hanging out later? LISA THE FLOWER: Tee hee, SURE. | The bee buzzes back over to the other flower. LISA THE FLOWER: Tee hee hee... | KARLI THE BEE: She said yes, Ethan, but seriously, can you guys PLEASE find a way to do this without me? ETHAN THE FLOWER: NO! Karli, I NEED you! PLEASE! Go back and see if 7:30 is ok!!

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I am FINE. | Subscribe for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL (thinking): RRGH, I hate when everyone asks me if I'm OK. | The squirrel seethes, and smoke begins coming out of its head. | FOOMP A small flame ignites atop the squirrels head. | The squirrel is now on fire. SQUIRREL (thinking): I am clearly FINE.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Having a soothing voice is good thing, really. | Become a member: patreon.com/portermason/...

FLYNN: Hey! | ROONIE: Hmm? FLYNN: You fell ASLEEP! | ROONIE: So? FLYNN: I was TALKING. | ROONIE: Those two things are not unrelated.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Caveats don't absolve you. | Never miss a comic: patreon.com/portermason/...

FOX: I don't want to be rude, but this meal you made is terrible. | SQUIRREL: Oh, I don't want to be rude either. | THWACK! The squirrel smacks the fox across the face with a spatula. | SQUIRREL: But we don't always get what we want, do we?

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

This, but cycled through every five seconds. | Get free comic emails: patreon.com/portermason/...

BIRD: So... do you like it? | BIRD: It's OK if you don't. | BIRD: But... do you? | BIRD: Just say yes. | BIRD: Just say SOMETHING. | RABBIT: Um... | BIRD: NO! You know what? NO!! We are NO LONGER FRIENDS! Good DAY!! | A pause as the rabbit looks unsettled. | BIRD: PLEASE JUST LOVE ME.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The world revolves around my anxiety. | Join the Patreon: patreon.com/portermason/...

LIZARD (thinking): I wonder if they're talking about me. | LIZARD (thinking): I bet they are. | LIZARD (thinking): In fact, I assume they ALWAYS are. | LIZARD (thinking): I have low self-esteem but an enormous ego.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Not sure I could follow the answer, too. | Read members-only comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT (thinking): They talk a lot. | RABBIT (thinking): I'm not sure about WHAT. | RABBIT (thinking): I suppose I could ask. | RABBIT (thinking): But I hate to stop them.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

It's important to express yourself. | Get comics by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL: So I'm trying to be more open with my emotions. I don't often tell you how much I enjoy spending time together. | RABBIT: Aw, I- SQUIRREL: And that's because I do NOT enjoy spending time together. | UNPROVOKED SHOVE! The squirrel pushes the rabbit off the tree. | SQUIRREL: Let me know how I'm doing with all this emotions stuff!

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Gave it the ol' college try. | Join for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

FLYNN: Think of how I feel! | ROONIE: I did. | ROONIE: It made me sad. | ROONIE: So I stopped.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Anxiety comes in waves. | Read by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

A wave splashes a skink on a beach. THE OCEAN: You don't make eye contact enough! | The waves splash all around the skink. THE OCEAN: In fact, your friends probably think you hate them because of it! | The ocean recedes. THE OCEAN: No, that seems unlikely. They understand you... they're your FRIENDS. SKINK: Phew... | A huge wave now looms over the skink. THE OCEAN: Then again!!

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Keep it secret, keep it safe. | Get exclusive comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

BIRD: Every song I sing is a secret about myself. | The bird sings loudly. SQUANK! | BIRD: What do you think? | RABBIT (horrified): I'll never tell a soul.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Hard to feign empathy during victory. | Subscribe for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

FLYNN: Fine. You WIN. Happy now? | PITTMAN: Oh, YES! Yes, yes… Incredibly so. | PITTMAN: Wait wait, should I not be?

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

How could anyone not want me around?! I'm a DELIGHT! | Become a member: patreon.com/portermason/...

RABBIT: Sometimes you act like you don't want me around. | SQUIRREL: Yes, in fact, I often do not want you around. | RABBIT: See, there you go! You're very convincing. I almost believe you. | SQUIRREL: Please. Go away. RABBIT: Ha ha ha, sure thing, Meryl Streep!

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I think this is a good base response in most any situation. | Never miss a comic: patreon.com/portermason/...

HOT CHOCOLATE: They just made a joke… OR they made fun of me. | HOT CHOCOLATE: Should I laugh… or be angry? | HOT CHOCOLATE: HA! HA! HA! SMACK SMACK | HOT CHOCOLATE: I think I covered my bases.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

But then again, what do I know? | Get free comic emails: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL: I'm sad. | RABBIT: When I'm sad, I think about all the good things in my life, and that helps cheer me right back up. | SQUIRREL: OK. Well... | SQUIRREL: We'll just call that "Plan B".

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Most things are not worth me doing them then. | Join the Patreon: patreon.com/portermason/...

FLYNN: Anything worth doing is worth doing well. | ROONIE: Yes! | ROONIE: So let’s just not do this.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

How to start the day. | Read members-only comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

A skink lie in bed. SKINK (thinking): They say the first step to having a successful day is just getting out of bed. | The skink slightly sits up. | A skink in bed stares into the void. | The skink is still in bed, and hides their face under the covers. SKINK (thinking): But I'm going to prove them ALL wrong.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Up there by themselves, with all that cheese. | Get comics by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

ROONIE: The moon always looks so lonely… | MOON: For the record, I’m not LONELY. MOON: I just LIKE being ALONE. | MOON: And anyway, no one GETS me. | MOON: Whatever… they wouldn’t understand…

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

What we all think in the dressing room. | Join for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

LIZARD (thinking): This outfit is truly me. | LIZARD (thinking): It reflects my true self. Who I really am... On the INSIDE. | LIZARD (thinking): So... | LIZARD (thinking): Clearly won't be wearing THAT...

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

It could happen. It hasn't. But it could. | Read by email: patreon.com/portermason/...

SKINK (thinking): What if I say the wrong thing and they hate me? | SKINK (thinking): Then again, what if I say the right thing and they love me? | SKINK (thinking): (sigh) | SKINK (thinking): Now I'm just talking crazy.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

How songwriting works. | Get exclusive comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

BIRD: I write songs about my disappointments. | BIRD: And no one likes them. | BIRD: Which is always disappointing. | RABBIT: That's a real system you've got going. BIRD: It is, isn't it?

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

And they're very pretty wasps. | Subscribe for free: patreon.com/portermason/...

ROONIE: I'm being chased off a cliff... | ROONIE: ...by angry, deadly wasps. | A pause. | ROONIE: Still... it's a nice day out.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I can read a face, but I don't have to like it. | Become a member: patreon.com/portermason/...

FOX: How was I supposed to know you were upset? | SQUIRREL: I screamed and yelled and said I was upset! | FOX: Yes, well... I... missed all that I guess. | FOX: Ooo, maybe we could figure out a hand SIGNAL instead?

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

It's the notes you don't play. | Never miss a comic: patreon.com/portermason/...

SQUIRREL: There's an art to ignoring the things that bother you. RABBIT: OOO, can you teach it to me? | RABBIT: Can you? | RABBIT: No? | RABBIT (thinking): I guess it's unteachable.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

I should get SOMEthing. | Get free comic emails: patreon.com/portermason/...

MEL: If I listen to your problems, what do I get in return? PETER: Nothing, Mel! But it'll HELP me, and I'm your FRIEND. | MEL: How about you throw in ten bucks? PETER: This isn't a NEGOTIATION, Mel! MEL: Fine! FINE. (sigh)... Tell me your thing. | PETER: So, Peter gets coffee without me and did I stop drinking caffeine during my cleanse? Yes. But I want to be ASKED. So I confront Peter, and I'm like, "I want to be ASKED." And he's like, "Of COURSE." But I don't think he MEANT it. And I think he THINKS I think he didn't mean it. On top of all of that, Starbucks is TOTALLY anti-union, you know? | MEL: $7.50. Final offer.

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

One drives the other. | Join the Patreon: patreon.com/portermason/...

A rabbit and squirrel look at two flowers. RABBIT: Do you think flowers have feelings? SQUIRREL: Not really, no. | CYRIL THE FLOWER: WRONG. We DO have feelings... JERK... | MADELYNE THE FLOWER: And... some of have some PRETTY smart political opinions, as well! | CYRIL: (sigh) Again with the LAND VALUE TAX! It's unenforceable, Madelyne! MADELYNE: Henry George was a PROPET, Cyril! Tax the FIRST, not the labor!!

Roonie the Rabbit @rooniecomics.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

I could talk endlessly about my oeuvre. | Read members-only comics: patreon.com/portermason/...

FLYNN: All you ever talk about is yourself and your art. | SHELKEY: Wow... I'm SO sorry... | SHELKEY: Now, WHY do I do that? And does it affect my ART? Let's talk about this...