Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 16/04/2026It should be a felony to put vanity plates on a Kia Soul. 2141
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 15/04/2026The Pope is gonna end the battle with the White House by screaming “A MINNNNOOOOOR”. 0111
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Nipple hair is only weird if you let it be. Not for me. I tune mine like a guitar string and play Smoke on the Water on it. 🎸🔥 131
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Listening to true crime podcasts made me realize that I could be easily indoctrinated into a cult as long as your cult has the best snacks. 081
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 15/04/2026I feel left out. I’m the only one of my friends not performing on Netflix is a Joke. I’m starting my own counterfestival called Tubi is for Serious People. 0150
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 14/04/2026Why does the security at Ross Dress for Less dress like they’re ready to overthrow a small island nation? 170
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 03/04/2026I don't smoke weed. I go to dispensaries for the people watching. My local spot has all of the characters of a Wes Anderson movie: A posh butler, Hipsters budtenders in velvet vests, A tennis pro that had an affair with a soccer mom, Twins with matching red tracksuits, A soccer mom, Bill Murray 0141
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 31/03/2026I feel bad for robots. They were promised they’d be luxurious flying cars. Nope. They just deliver burritos in the Valley. How will I ever explain this to my AI girlfriend? 1110
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 30/03/2026Uber driver: when I drop you off, can I use your bathroom? Me: only if you accept my surge prices. Uber Driver: nah, I'll wait. 091
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 30/03/2026I'm starting to think George Soros is never gonna pay any of us. 0193
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 24/03/2026You ever try to listen to the Project: Hail Mary audiobook, think you’re having a stroke until you realize you downloaded the Dutch audiobook? No? Just me? 270
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 22/03/2026The older I get, the more I love to sit to pee. Fellas, bros, dudes, guys, it’s not weird to sit and pee — unless you’re at a urinal. 3180
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 21/03/2026I only go to therapy during the college basketball playoffs. I call it March Sadness. I am an underdog, looking for an upset. 031
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Facebook said this happened ten years ago today. Still upset my therapist is funnier me. Me: I chase after emotionally unavailable women. I should just get a dog. Psychiatrist: Make sure it's not an emotionally unavailable dog. 2140
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny PascaleComedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 29/10/2025I've been learning Russian the right way: watching porn with the captions on. 5385
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 19/03/2026INT. COMEDIAN CLUB - NIGHT. Comedian gets off stage after what he considered a decent set. A woman (20s) walks up to him. Woman: Can we-- take a picture? Comedian: I would LOVE to. Her (to friends): Get over here! He’ll take a picture for us! The comedian’s soul exists his body Fade to black. 070
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 17/03/2026Whoever wins the USA vs Venezuela World Baseball Classic game today gets to keep Maduro. 062
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 14/03/2026Italy vs. Puerto Rico in the World Baseball Classic is West Side Story, if nobody dance fought or stabbed each other. 261
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny PascaleComedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 13/03/2026My neighbors left their door open. My pug ran right in their house. As she did, I grabbed her and yelled “you’re being a problem right now!” My neighbors didn’t see my dog, just me running up to their open door and yelling “YOU’RE BEING A PROBLEM RIGHT NOW!” How would YOU react? 5112
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny PascaleComedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Fungry is when you're so hungry but you're having too much fun to eat. 1123
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 13/03/2026Pinky: Brain, what do you want to do tonight? Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky— try to make all of our bread deliveries on time! 0111
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 13/03/2026I spend more time browsing Netflix than watching Netflix. 0121
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 13/03/2026My neighbors left their door open. My pug ran right in their house. As she did, I grabbed her and yelled “you’re being a problem right now!” My neighbors didn’t see my dog, just me running up to their open door and yelling “YOU’RE BEING A PROBLEM RIGHT NOW!” How would YOU react? 5112
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Fungry is when you're so hungry but you're having too much fun to eat. 1123
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 12/03/2026How come everyone gets weird when I tell them that I sit when I pee but never has anything to say when I tell them I stand when I poop?! Huh?!!! 050
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 12/03/2026Dear Hip Hop DJ, Thank you for letting us know that this is, indeed, the remix. Sincerely, An airhorn 092
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 12/03/2026I can’t be afraid of AI if it can’t even click “I’m not a robot”. 096
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 01/03/2026I'm dying to know if Rosemary Returns. 6488
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 27/02/2026Judging by the Epstein Files, a lot of politicians run for office simply so they can take pictures kissing babies. 193
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 27/02/2026The host at my last show said all of this on his own, I swear. 092
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 27/02/2026This year for Lent, I’m giving up 0317
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 27/02/2026It's a shame that it took humanity 100 years to invent tagless tee shirts. 0161
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 26/02/2026My day is a success anytime I get home before my phone is dead. 091
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny PascaleComedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 11/09/2025I can't listen to classical music without imagining Bugs Bunny trying to trick Elmer Fudd.media.tenor.coma cartoon character in a tuxedo is holding a pie in front of his faceALT: a cartoon character in a tuxedo is holding a pie in front of his face 5357
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny PascaleComedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 11/10/2025I feel bad for robots. Thirty years ago, we promised them they'd be flying cars. Instead, today Los Angeles is full of little food delivery robots. Imagine being promised the gift of flight... and ending up delivering burritos in the Valley. 3414
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny PascaleBill Emory (he/him) @oldmanemory.bsky.social · 30/01/2026The United States sorely needs an opposition party right now. 3986909971
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 31/01/2026If all my background acting doesn’t make me famous, I dunno what will. 2122
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 28/01/2026We haven’t taken our Christmas tree down yet. I’m too embarrassed to do it now. Same tree two years in a row. #Sustainability 🎄 0141
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 23/01/2026My internet provider sent me a cease and desist. Apparently someone torrents RuPaul’s Drag Race on my WI-FI. If they take me to court, I’ll legally have to lip sync for my life. 192
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 19/11/2025I'm tired of the news. Please just tell me who I'm suppose to be mad at today. 1262
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 19/11/2025Movie pitch: Jury Seinfeld. It’s like 12 Angry Men but every man is Jerry Seinfeld. 7181
Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale @ronnypascale.bsky.social · 18/11/2025Skinny jeans shouldn't come in sizes. They should come with age limits. 2153
