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Keith

@rocktheglobe.bsky.social
68 followers 66 following 65 posts

Father, husband, playlist-maker, all-around swell guy. Singer, driver, useless trivia repository.

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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 23/06/2025
Holy hell, the Pentagon had to figure out how to make sure Dear Leader's social media addiction wouldn't ruin an actual military operation.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
What an allegory for our times.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
SPACEBALLS THE SNACK FOOD!!! (The kids love this one.)
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
Hello, pollen, my old friend... you've come to kill me once again.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
This is an Actual Thing.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
Headline of the Week™:
abcnews.go.com
Woman arrested after raccoon named Chewy found with meth pipe in driver's seat during police stop
A woman has been arrested when a raccoon named Chewy was holding a meth pipe in the driver’s seat of her car in what police are calling a “strange encounter on patrol."
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
Between the tense dramatic apocalypse of "The Last of Us" and the actual apocalypse detailed on "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver," HBO is like 92.4% responsible for my inability to sleep on Sunday nights.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
When are these stickers going to start appearing on store shelves?
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
Spring unfiltered
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
Current plan: I’m gonna go recruit some penguins from the Heard and McDonald Islands and convince them to riot with me.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
Boom.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
No… no, you’re not, especially not if you have to advertise it like that.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
April 1: The only day when people treat social media posts with appropriate suspicion.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
SCENE: Weekly 1:1 with my boss. BOSS: "How are you?" ME: "Well, I didn't text anyone any top-secret war plans today, so there's that..."
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
Worth mentioning: This portrait was paid for by Republicans, approved by Republicans and has been on display in the Capitol since 2019 — before Polis was governor.
denver7.com
Trump blasts his portrait inside Colorado’s Capitol – which has hung since 2019 – as ‘purposefully distorted’
President Donald Trump on Sunday eviscerated his presidential portrait that hangs inside the Colorado Capitol building, calling it “truly the worst” and attacking both artist and Gov. Jared Polis.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
BUT HER EMAILS...
theguardian.com
White House inadvertently texted top-secret Yemen war plans to journalist
Senior Trump cabinet members copied Atlantic journalist into chat used to discuss secret strikes against Houthis
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
I had DeVry University beating University of Phoenix to win March Madness, so my bracket is already busted.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
I may be in bed half-delirious with a fever of 101.5, but thank goodness my fingers still instinctively tap out the bass line to Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” when it comes on the radio.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
Paul Baldwin confirms: “GLP-1s did not cure my shpilkes in my genektegezoint.”
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
Not to stoke the conspiratorial fires, but... gizmodo.com/elon-musks-k...
gizmodo.com
Elon Musk's Kid Keeps Saying Weird Stuff About Trump
Little X appeared to tell Trump
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
So much for the “Jesus loves” bumper sticker and the “Serve & Pray” license plate holder on that SUV where the driver refused to let me merge and gave me a Flavor Flav “I can’t do nothin’ for ya, man” gesture.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
Pretty sure today is January 73rd.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
And yet, thousands and thousands of Americans are happily using the platform while our administration talks about TikTok.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
I keep dreaming about the end of the world. I wonder why…?
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 25/01/2025
Apparently, "John McClane and the Deathly Hallows" is not, in fact, one of the titles of the movies in the "Die Hard" franchise.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
Yeah, you know all the things they promised they wouldn't do? Of course they're doing them.
axios.com
House Republican introduces long-shot measure to let Trump seek a third term
The proposed amendment would let presidents who served non-consecutively seek a third term.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
Awww, show me where that mean Gulf hurt you and made you want to rename it.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
#canteven
apnews.com
Alabama and Mississippi will also honor Robert E. Lee on Martin Luther King Jr. Day
The U.S. is set to mark Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the federal holiday set aside to honor the life of the civil rights icon. But in two states, Monday is also Robert E.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
Tried to use the “Discover” feature to find stuff to view/follow. Chose “dog pics.” Was immediately shown news about DOGE. Big fail, Bluesky… bigly.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
FIGHT
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
2025: The return of hamberders and covfefe.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 11/01/2025
If you ever said that it wasn’t time to talk about gun control right after a school shooting, you have no business criticizing the LAFD right now while they’re fighting to save people’s lives and all their belongings.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
Jack Handey was ahead of his time.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 02/01/2025
Media: “Gunman opens fire at a Queens nightclub and kills people, but it’s not an act of terror.” Exqueeze me? If someone starts shooting and killing people en masse at a place where they went to just party and drink and dance, what else are they intending to incite besides terror?!
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
Isn’t this just perfectly symbolic of what 2025 will bring…?
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 31/12/2024
Tomorrow starts the second quarter of the 21st century.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 30/12/2024
40+ years later, I've finally realized that Mike's parents in Suicidal Tendencies' song "Institutionalized" think he's on drugs because he asks for a Pepsi and they were clearly a Coke household.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 28/12/2024
The greatest moment ever in the entire “Office” series is when Dwight simulates the fire and Angela throws her cat into the ceiling. Fight me.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
“Die Hard” is a story about a desperate insurgency against a vastly superior invading force, requiring the near-miraculous marshalling of limited resources. Therefore, “Die Hard” is a Chanukah movie.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
The most magical night of the year...
youtube.com
TV Funhouse: Christmastime For The Jews - SNL
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
Happy Christmahanukwanzakuh to all.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 16/12/2024
Today in 1773, the Boston Tea Party took place. Tomorrow in 1773, the first Dunkin' Donuts opened to compete.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
It's not enough that I delete this email, I feel the need to find the server it came in on and set that on fire to cleanse it.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
Time of death: 2:27pm GMT on December 12, when @xsmanchester.bsky.social played the song I viscerally hate -- "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses. And I was doing so well...
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
I know it’s just a TV show, but I just watched last week’s “Abbott Elementary” and had the same horrified reaction as the teachers did when they found out the kids didn’t know “Christmas in Hollis” or Run-DMC.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 07/12/2024
Florida, go home, you’re drunk.
dailyboulder.com
Florida Republican Introduces Bill to Ban Government From Controlling Weather and Sunlight
In a strange move, a Florida Republican lawmaker has introduced a bill that seeks to ban the government from "controlling" the weather and sunlight. Yes, this is real.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
I hate people.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
Yesterday I learned “spatchcock the turkey” is an actual cooking expression and not a euphemism for something else.
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Keith @rocktheglobe.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
To all those hosting today: May your bathrooms be well-stocked with toilet paper and Febreze.
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