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robyneatseverything

@robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy
23 followers 0 following 480 posts

Thicc and hungry #SexBlogger. They/them. #Nonbinary. #Agender. #Polyam. #Fat. #NSFW. #EatingDisorder. #Millenial. A romantic slut, writing smut. A […] 🌉 bridged from ⁂ mastodon.social/@robyneatseverything, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/08/2026
Yesterday, my Crush touched my arm to stop me walking into someone and I could write 1000 words on the electricity that feeling on my bare skin generated.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/08/2026
I liked this guy, but we’ve just had a phone date and he repeatedly recited Ken Dodd jokes until I became drier than a Weetabix.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/08/2026
Oh Jesus, you try and leave Sky Broadband and you have to speak to a “Loyalty Expert” 🤮
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/08/2026
This is the worst take I’ve ever seen Smut is ✨literature✨ and it’s bloody hard to write well, actually
A screenshot of a terrible internet take of someone saying that smut doesn’t count in your books read total
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 17/08/2026
Here she is, settling into her new home by fighting ❤️ #BlackCatAppreciationDay #CatsOfMastodon #BlackCatsOfMastodon
A photo of a little black cat, lying back on a glass and wood coffee table, with her paw stretched upwards as she bats the photo-taker aggressively.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/08/2026
Fuck me, I thought the nukes were inbound
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/08/2026
I’m moving house today! I’ve only had 2 hours sleep and I feel sick, let’s do this.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/08/2026
Present Robyn really hates Past Robyn and their decision to stuff all their excess clothes and crap into an ottoman bed before the house was put on the market, because now they have to get it all out and pack it for moving.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/08/2026
I think a lovely first date and a long make-out session would fix me
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/08/2026
Just 2 more days of my builder mansplaining at me in voice notes, I can’t wait 🫶
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 03/08/2026
If I’m an absolute cunt who assaulted their pregnant partner, please do rejoice when I die! Slag me off! Don’t be shy, really give it to me in death!
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 26/07/2026
[Mention of BDSM] All I want is for men to at least ask if you’re into sado-masochism before sexting you about it.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/07/2026
The most fun thing about refurbishing your mother-in-law’s house is her telling you how much she hates everything you’re doing and your furniture and your taste 👍
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 23/07/2026
Biting my tongue so hard at my estate agents saying we need to reduce the price of our house when they have done no visible work to market it.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/07/2026
Hysterically cry-laughing through the half-time show, like a true English person
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/07/2026
All the guys on Hinge just wanna sext and I’ve run out of people on Feeld - please recommend some dating apps to me!
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/07/2026
Good morning to everyone whose animal gets up on roofs and then forgets how to get down #Caturday #CatsOfMastodon
A photo of a tiny black cat, sitting on a flat roof, looking at the camera plaintively, surrounded by trees
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 16/07/2026
Why do cis guys always ask what your bra size is? Do you speak bra? Can you visualise the difference between a 38 back and a 40? Are you googling to find a model with a comparable rack to me?
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/07/2026
Please use the opportunity today, International Non Binary People’s Day, to show enbies your love, respect, and pledge to never, ever buy anything H*rry P*tter related 💛🤍💜🖤 #InternationalNonBinaryPeoplesDay
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 13/07/2026
[Lewd photo (feat. nipple)] Pulling out the big guns for this date tonight (wearing this bra and sending him this photo 15 minutes before we’re due to meet)
A close up of one of my very large tits, in a fishnet bra, a nipple poking through
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 12/07/2026
Going on a first date with a guy tomorrow night and I’m kind of obsessed with his neck; I think it’s the most beautiful, sculptural neck I’ve ever seen 🔥
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/07/2026
RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… A spa day was the best idea I ever had
A snapshot of the lower half of a femme face, and the cleavage
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/07/2026
I really hate to be this person, but weeks ago I booked a spa day for tomorrow and it has a cold plunge pool 😎
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/07/2026
Playing Total Eclipse of the Heart on repeat 💔 (This is actually a regular occurrence, but RIP Bonnie)
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/07/2026
Just had an argument with a guy I matched with on The Apps because I sexted with him yesterday, but haven’t yet sexted with him today, and he asked if that was because I’d “already satisfied myself elsewhere”, in a tone that was somewhat pissy. MEN, we do not owe you sexts ✨
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/07/2026
RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… I’ve solved the mystery - she’s in a food coma because I accidentally left the fridge door slightly open last night and she’s eaten 2 whole chicken breasts.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/07/2026
It’s after half 10 in the morning and this beast is still snoozing (Yes, the bed is covered in cat hair because that’s her spot) #Caturday #CatsOfMastodon
A photo of a black cat, lying on her side and snuggled up into a black and white spotty duvet, looking snoozy
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 02/07/2026
[Lewd talk] My current criteria on Feeld is ‘doms who will use my body and don’t make me think too hard’
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 27/06/2026
Cats are unbeaten at finding cool spots to hide #Caturday #CatsOfMastodon
A photo of a black cat’s hind legs, poking out from under a tile in a garden
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 25/06/2026
Just realised I forgot to move my sex wedge when the estate agent took the listing photos, so my house will definitely end up on a subreddit.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/06/2026
[Thread about life stuff with lewd talk] My house goes on the market tomorrow, to be sold and then loved by someone else, and I’m gutted. But there are silver linings and I’m going to explain why, and where I am in my life (and sex life) rn… 🧵
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 23/06/2026
[Illustrated gnome tits (yes, you read that correctly)] Sorting through books at my in-law’s and came across a WTAF moment
An extremely weird page from a book about gnomes, specifically talking about female gnomes and showing an illustration of some bare gnomette tits
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 22/06/2026
We’re warm and somewhat haunted #CatsOfMastodon #BlackCatsOfMastodon
A photo of a black cat lying on a black and white striped rug, looking haunted and hot
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 21/06/2026
The only metric that matters in the World Cup is which team are the hottest, and Iran win.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 20/06/2026
I might have got slightly tipsy a few weeks ago and told Nestie I think my crush (a friend of ours) kind of hates me. What did Nestie do with this information? TELL MY CRUSH. It has now come up in conversation and my crush just told me that he doesn’t hate me, “exactly the opposite actually” […]
mastodon.social
Original post on mastodon.social
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/06/2026
Good morning, I hope you eat a nice cake today* *could be a euphemism, if you want it to be
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/06/2026
I have already ranted to all my friends about the proposed social media ban for teenagers this week, let’s add age verification for sexting to the list. reason.com/2026/06/17/carded-before… There’s a correlation between these proposals and telling women and femmes not to go out […]
mastodon.social
Original post on mastodon.social
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 17/06/2026
My gender is Jordan Pickford shouting at defenders
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 16/06/2026
Does anyone else find their partner’s New Relationship Energy really difficult to deal with? I love Nestie so much, but they do throw themselves into new romantic relationships at speed and with 110% commitment and it always leaves me feeling a little left behind. #polyamory #nonmonogamy #NRE
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/06/2026
How can a social media curfew be enforced?* Will Starmer bang on the window disapprovingly at 9:02pm? *this is actually a serious question, how?
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/06/2026
Good morning everyone, I love you x
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 12/06/2026
I am currently cleaning before the cleaners come round - that’s it, I am now my Mother
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/06/2026
RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… FFS I just got a fine for driving a couple of metres in a bus lane as well, that shag has now cost me £105 😭😭
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 08/06/2026
[Lewd talk] RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… When I asked him the same question, he simply said: “I want your body in my mouth” 🔥
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 08/06/2026
[Lewd talk] A FWB asked what I want to do when I see him on Wednesday and my reply sounds like a lovely little poem
A screenshot of a WhatsApp message that reads: 1. I need your mouth around my clit 
2. ⁠and your fingers in my ass 
3. ⁠I want to ride your cock 
4. ⁠and have you fuck my face 
5. ⁠I really want to tie you up and tease you again 
6. ⁠but I also want you to tie me up and use my body however you want 
7. ⁠I NEED to cum while you’re spanking me again because that was so hot 
8. ⁠and you should also slap my tits and pussy 
9. ⁠and cum on my tits 
10. ⁠and maybe fuck my ass a bit
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/06/2026
I went to an amateur stand-up event earlier to support a couple of friends and there were no less than* 8 acts who were middle-aged white men complaining about their middle-aged bodily functions. *can’t remember the exact number, they all look the same
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/06/2026
I’ve been starting a lot of conversations on The Apps recently and it’s quite clear that some cannot manage a conversation that doesn’t start “Hey, you ok?”. I read profiles, I write opening messages based on those profiles, I’m often pretty funny, and yet: brick walls. Perhaps constructive […]
mastodon.social
Original post on mastodon.social
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/06/2026
[Mention of weight and ED] I need my weight for a medical thing, but don’t own scales because of the eating disorder thing, so I just Googled where I can get myself weighed for free and the AI suggested I go to a vets.
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/06/2026
[Celebrity death] Not Tony Head 😭
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robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/06/2026
If someone asks me in a toilet what my chromosome combination is I genuinely wouldn’t be able to say: no one’s ever told me. My gametes? Eh, I’m not sure I even have any. Now I do know I have very high testosterone because I had a blood test recently, so shall I use the men’s and squat over a […]
mastodon.social
Original post on mastodon.social
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