robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/08/2026Yesterday, my Crush touched my arm to stop me walking into someone and I could write 1000 words on the electricity that feeling on my bare skin generated. 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/08/2026I liked this guy, but we’ve just had a phone date and he repeatedly recited Ken Dodd jokes until I became drier than a Weetabix. 020 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/08/2026Oh Jesus, you try and leave Sky Broadband and you have to speak to a “Loyalty Expert” 🤮 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/08/2026This is the worst take I’ve ever seen Smut is ✨literature✨ and it’s bloody hard to write well, actually 243 4
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 17/08/2026Here she is, settling into her new home by fighting ❤️ #BlackCatAppreciationDay #CatsOfMastodon #BlackCatsOfMastodon 040 4
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/08/2026Fuck me, I thought the nukes were inbound 110 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 11/08/2026I’m moving house today! I’ve only had 2 hours sleep and I feel sick, let’s do this. 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/08/2026Present Robyn really hates Past Robyn and their decision to stuff all their excess clothes and crap into an ottoman bed before the house was put on the market, because now they have to get it all out and pack it for moving. 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/08/2026I think a lovely first date and a long make-out session would fix me 120 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/08/2026Just 2 more days of my builder mansplaining at me in voice notes, I can’t wait 🫶 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 03/08/2026If I’m an absolute cunt who assaulted their pregnant partner, please do rejoice when I die! Slag me off! Don’t be shy, really give it to me in death! 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 26/07/2026[Mention of BDSM] All I want is for men to at least ask if you’re into sado-masochism before sexting you about it. 130 3
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/07/2026The most fun thing about refurbishing your mother-in-law’s house is her telling you how much she hates everything you’re doing and your furniture and your taste 👍 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 23/07/2026Biting my tongue so hard at my estate agents saying we need to reduce the price of our house when they have done no visible work to market it. 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/07/2026Hysterically cry-laughing through the half-time show, like a true English person 011 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/07/2026All the guys on Hinge just wanna sext and I’ve run out of people on Feeld - please recommend some dating apps to me! 100 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/07/2026Good morning to everyone whose animal gets up on roofs and then forgets how to get down #Caturday #CatsOfMastodon 081 8
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 16/07/2026Why do cis guys always ask what your bra size is? Do you speak bra? Can you visualise the difference between a 38 back and a 40? Are you googling to find a model with a comparable rack to me? 100 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/07/2026Please use the opportunity today, International Non Binary People’s Day, to show enbies your love, respect, and pledge to never, ever buy anything H*rry P*tter related 💛🤍💜🖤 #InternationalNonBinaryPeoplesDay 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 13/07/2026[Lewd photo (feat. nipple)] Pulling out the big guns for this date tonight (wearing this bra and sending him this photo 15 minutes before we’re due to meet) 250 5
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 12/07/2026Going on a first date with a guy tomorrow night and I’m kind of obsessed with his neck; I think it’s the most beautiful, sculptural neck I’ve ever seen 🔥 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/07/2026RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… A spa day was the best idea I ever had 020 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/07/2026I really hate to be this person, but weeks ago I booked a spa day for tomorrow and it has a cold plunge pool 😎 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 09/07/2026Playing Total Eclipse of the Heart on repeat 💔 (This is actually a regular occurrence, but RIP Bonnie) 021 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/07/2026Just had an argument with a guy I matched with on The Apps because I sexted with him yesterday, but haven’t yet sexted with him today, and he asked if that was because I’d “already satisfied myself elsewhere”, in a tone that was somewhat pissy. MEN, we do not owe you sexts ✨ 011 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/07/2026RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… I’ve solved the mystery - she’s in a food coma because I accidentally left the fridge door slightly open last night and she’s eaten 2 whole chicken breasts. 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/07/2026It’s after half 10 in the morning and this beast is still snoozing (Yes, the bed is covered in cat hair because that’s her spot) #Caturday #CatsOfMastodon 040 4
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 02/07/2026[Lewd talk] My current criteria on Feeld is ‘doms who will use my body and don’t make me think too hard’ 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 27/06/2026Cats are unbeaten at finding cool spots to hide #Caturday #CatsOfMastodon 050 5
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 25/06/2026Just realised I forgot to move my sex wedge when the estate agent took the listing photos, so my house will definitely end up on a subreddit. 031 3
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 24/06/2026[Thread about life stuff with lewd talk] My house goes on the market tomorrow, to be sold and then loved by someone else, and I’m gutted. But there are silver linings and I’m going to explain why, and where I am in my life (and sex life) rn… 🧵 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 23/06/2026[Illustrated gnome tits (yes, you read that correctly)] Sorting through books at my in-law’s and came across a WTAF moment 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 22/06/2026We’re warm and somewhat haunted #CatsOfMastodon #BlackCatsOfMastodon 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 21/06/2026The only metric that matters in the World Cup is which team are the hottest, and Iran win. 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 20/06/2026I might have got slightly tipsy a few weeks ago and told Nestie I think my crush (a friend of ours) kind of hates me. What did Nestie do with this information? TELL MY CRUSH. It has now come up in conversation and my crush just told me that he doesn’t hate me, “exactly the opposite actually” […]mastodon.socialOriginal post on mastodon.social 120 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 19/06/2026Good morning, I hope you eat a nice cake today* *could be a euphemism, if you want it to be 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 18/06/2026I have already ranted to all my friends about the proposed social media ban for teenagers this week, let’s add age verification for sexting to the list. reason.com/2026/06/17/carded-before… There’s a correlation between these proposals and telling women and femmes not to go out […]mastodon.socialOriginal post on mastodon.social 100 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 17/06/2026My gender is Jordan Pickford shouting at defenders 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 16/06/2026Does anyone else find their partner’s New Relationship Energy really difficult to deal with? I love Nestie so much, but they do throw themselves into new romantic relationships at speed and with 110% commitment and it always leaves me feeling a little left behind. #polyamory #nonmonogamy #NRE 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/06/2026How can a social media curfew be enforced?* Will Starmer bang on the window disapprovingly at 9:02pm? *this is actually a serious question, how? 120 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 14/06/2026Good morning everyone, I love you x 020 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 12/06/2026I am currently cleaning before the cleaners come round - that’s it, I am now my Mother 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 10/06/2026RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… FFS I just got a fine for driving a couple of metres in a bus lane as well, that shag has now cost me £105 😭😭 200 2
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 08/06/2026[Lewd talk] RE: mastodon.social/@robyneatseverythin… When I asked him the same question, he simply said: “I want your body in my mouth” 🔥 010 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 08/06/2026[Lewd talk] A FWB asked what I want to do when I see him on Wednesday and my reply sounds like a lovely little poem 040 4
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/06/2026I went to an amateur stand-up event earlier to support a couple of friends and there were no less than* 8 acts who were middle-aged white men complaining about their middle-aged bodily functions. *can’t remember the exact number, they all look the same 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 06/06/2026I’ve been starting a lot of conversations on The Apps recently and it’s quite clear that some cannot manage a conversation that doesn’t start “Hey, you ok?”. I read profiles, I write opening messages based on those profiles, I’m often pretty funny, and yet: brick walls. Perhaps constructive […]mastodon.socialOriginal post on mastodon.social 110 1
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/06/2026[Mention of weight and ED] I need my weight for a medical thing, but don’t own scales because of the eating disorder thing, so I just Googled where I can get myself weighed for free and the AI suggested I go to a vets. 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/06/2026[Celebrity death] Not Tony Head 😭 000 0
robyneatseverything @robyneatseverything.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 05/06/2026If someone asks me in a toilet what my chromosome combination is I genuinely wouldn’t be able to say: no one’s ever told me. My gametes? Eh, I’m not sure I even have any. Now I do know I have very high testosterone because I had a blood test recently, so shall I use the men’s and squat over a […]mastodon.socialOriginal post on mastodon.social 010 1