Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 07/10/2026No, your pun is most certainly NOT excused. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 07/10/2026wife: You look good in that shirt. me: Thank you. wife: But a collared shirt would be better. me: And there’s that other shoe, right on time. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 07/10/2026What I need is a shirt that looks equally good on me, whether I am standing up or sitting down. I have yet to find one. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 07/10/2026*sets timer on watch for 30 minutes* me 30 minutes later: Yo, why the fuck is my wrist vibrating? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 07/10/2026It is essentially impossible to be truly moral living in our modern society, but some of you could at least try a little bit. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I saw someone at work type out "cos" in place of "because" and I thought, what am I, in bloody England? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026The best way to describe my most common facial expression is "welp…” 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026At this point, if you don't at least appreciate Rage Against the Machine a little bit, you need to get your head out of your ass. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026It's never too early to start hating Valentine's Day. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026According to my weather app, it will be in the mid-70s by the middle of October. Expect a lot of bell bottom pants and disco music. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Are guys on dating websites still posting photos of themselves holding fish? Is that still a thing? If I were on a dating website, I might do the same thing with my gaming PC. Yeah girl, how do you like my Radeon RX 9060 XT 16GB video card? Where are you going?? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I could tell you that I am trying to cut down on my energy drink consumption, but that would make me a big fat energetic liar. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Is this a safe space where I can be brutally honest? Y’all, I am tired of steaks. Way overrated. Enough already. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Pardon me for being graphic, but ever since my wife started running in marathons a few months ago, her farting frequency has gone up exponentially. This is especially distracting during sex. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026double-fisting in your 20s: one beer in each hand double-fisting in your 40s: a cup of tea in one hand a cup of water in the other hand 010
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026A few years ago, a person on Twitter blocked me for a "clitoris in the cleavage" joke. I still think it was a good joke. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Maybe if you need AI to help you to write an email, you, as a paid employee of the company in which you are tasked with writing said email, should not be in charge of the arduous task of… writing an email. 010
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I don't know if I have another annual self-review in me, boss. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I am glad Snoop Dogg made a song about his motherfucking name, otherwise we might not know now what it is. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026It's almost that wonderful time of year when Americans are tasked with figuring out which healthcare plan tier is best for them by deciding how sick they plan to be in the coming year. USA, USA, USA! 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I just found out (while watching Resident Evil) that my wife is a person who likes to talk to the movie screen while watching a horror movie. She doesn't do this with other genres. Just horror. It's fair to say that I was… horrified to learn this. 210
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I'll keep sharing this with my friends on October 1st until I get tried of the bit. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Unless it has my lost hopes and dreams on it, it's not really an everything bagel. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I don't have a good smile. Luckily, there isn't much to smile about these days, except for pastries. 001
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 27/09/2026What is obvious to you might not be obvious to others, so be patient. But not too patient, because enough already. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Do you know how many concepts I have workshopped here that have gone nowhere? Far too many to count. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Drink two beers in a row? Two?? What am I, in my 20s again? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I see women on Reddit referring to their “college boobs” and it makes me wonder what sort of subject the boobs are majoring in. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Impressive Bouncing? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 27/09/2026If she refers to her breasts as Pokeballs, she’s probably too young for you, man. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I have decided to become pro-oxidant. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I like when Darth Vader shows up at the second Death Star to put the workers back on schedule, because that shows good project management skills. 010
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Stop arguing with disingenuous people. They’re just wasting your time. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Perhaps designing our mobile devices to have planned obsolescence was a bad idea considering they're made of non-biodegradable parts and we’re replacing them far more often than we should. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Big titties.static.klipy.comAlien Guy Giorgio Tsoukalos: Ancient AliensALT: Alien Guy Giorgio Tsoukalos: Ancient Aliens 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 21/09/2026wife: I used AI to help me write my work self-review. me: Well, I'm not a fan of self-reviews. That said, this is a weird way to tell me you want a divorce. 010
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Beware of men with big bushy beards. They are hiding something under there. It's either a dark secret or a weak chin. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Why is my annual EpiPen $250 this year when it was $60 last year? What the hell, damn guy? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Because of lack of evidence, as far as you know I have never had sex. Let's keep it that way. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 20/09/2026As a species, humans are quite the reactionaries. We're not so good at being proactive. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 20/09/2026If I am not supposed to be drinking energy drinks, then why am I yawning in the middle of the day? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Parents complain about their children as if they didn't raise them to be exactly that way. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Do you need therapy? Or do you just need a job that makes you not want to drive into a brick wall on the way home? 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 20/09/2026I am Rob the Boob Monster. Like the Cookie Monster, but for boobs. Nom nom nom! 001
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 19/09/2026I think people who wash their hands by using the soap before using the water should be in jail. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 19/09/2026I can't take it anymore. Enough with the Substack emails. Please bring back newspapers with real journalism. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Shakespeare trying to decide which streaming app to use: Tubi or not Tubi. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Nice performative beard you got there, buddy. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Yesterday I ate a cupcake with blue frosting. Today my poop was blue. Sometimes things make sense. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 19/09/2026One fun part about not being a sports fan is that I am left with extra time to read about all of the technology that is ruining our lives. 000
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 19/09/2026If I never see another dorky ranking article for the rest of my life, that will be fine. Honestly, what a waste of everyone’s time. 001
