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Reuben Glaser

@reubenglaser.bsky.social
63 followers 148 following 375 posts

Humorist

PostsRepliesMedia
Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
I don't like this website and am going to stop using it
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
what do you think Dan Quayle does all day?
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
we don't know which, just whichever one extracts most profit from you
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
I thought it was bad enough that Trump will be sending armed goons to terrorize my city, but now I hear they will be sent from TEXAS? I gotta deal with Texans now? Hat on a hat.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
Same
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
What is that thing on the front of a Kid's Choice award? Is that a hidden camera? So Big Slime can spy on recipients? This needs to be looked into
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
cat rhythms
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
BLOOD ARCHITECTS
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
hello i'm roy dismey hello i'm roy dismey hello i'm roy dismey
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 19/08/2025
What’s next? Hot Honey Dubai Chocolate Labubus?!?!?1
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
New first name idea - just pick a color and add "uel" to it. Brownuel, Greenuel, Reduel, Yellowuel, Orangeuel - there, I just named your future adult male sons for you! You're welcome.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
Bad news for us Brewers fans. George Webb is already on a plane to the Maldives and he’s never coming back. He can’t afford this and he knows it
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
The Brewers are about to put George Webb fully out of business
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
what are we all even talking about anymore
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 04/08/2025
I'm almost the saddest I've ever been
tmj4.com
Pop’s Custard to close its doors after more than 40 years in Menomonee Falls
Pop's Custard announced it will be closing its doors at the end of August after serving the Menomonee Falls community for more than four decades.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 01/08/2025
my internal monologue as of late
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
the moose is loose
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
"Ugh, it's the worst out here." - Me, to myself, less than a second after going outside for the first time today
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
is anybody going to bid on the Larry King owned "Larry King made out of jellybeans" portrait from his estate auction or not
juliensauctions.com
Larry King | 1990s Enormous Wacky Portrait Made Out of Jelly Beans
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
this really is a great list, each of these exoplanets are cool as hell
en.wikipedia.org
List of coolest exoplanets - Wikipedia
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
Sick of this summer, sick of the heat, sick of the corn sweat, it's not even August yet and I want to mainline apples and nutmeg directly into my bloodstream
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 28/07/2025
bro this is crazy
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
To celebrate Trump deregulating AI somebody should finally generate a film version of the little screenplay he wrote for Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday. Use vocal modulation so it sounds like them, throw in a nice fade in and out and some jazz, VO by Alan Dershowitz, you could win awards with this
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
this right here - this is one of those articles you see that makes you say "I hope nobody shares this!" Can you imagine sharing something like this, about our president? This is just so beneath the level of decorum we are known for. variety.com/2025/tv/news...
variety.com
‘South Park’ Launches Website for Naked Trump Parody PSA: ‘His Penis Is Teeny-Tiny, but His Love for Us Is Large’
'South Park' mocked Donald Trump with a parody PSA that depicts the president naked, stumbling through the desert with a 'tiny' penis.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
@therealdvo.bsky.social hey, I saw you are now trying to help Trump distract the public from the Epstein stuff by making some incoherent call to have Obama arrested? Seems it was ineffective. My advice? Next time somebody brings up Epstein, interrupt them by revving your motorcycle behind them
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
Whenever I try to describe to people what my dad was like, I say he was sort of a mix of Robert DeNiro, David Letterman, Homer Simpson, and Ozzy Osbourne. So in a way I was half raised raised by 25% Ozzy Osbourne, and I mourn his passing very much. I was very fond of him.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
hear me out - Drake Bell portraying Shemp from the Three Stooges in something
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
@therealdvo.bsky.social hey, just wanted to say I hope you are doing well and finding peace after your little meltdown with Mark Pocan recently. I saw it and thought it was pretty, I dunno, embarrassing and sad to see an elected official act that way and I should hope deep down you recognize that.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
The r/Doritos subreddit is the weirdest community on the internet, man
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 16/07/2025
Fascinating:
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
found this in an essay about Looney Tunes?
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 12/07/2025
At least the Epstein stuff might still manage to bring down one awful guy and make him go away...just in kind of a roundabout way...
cnn.com
Deputy FBI Director Bongino has told people he is considering resigning amid Epstein files fallout, sources say | CNN Politics
Deputy FBI Director Dan Bongino has told people he is considering resigning amid a major clash between the FBI and Justice Department over the continued fallout from the release of the Jeffrey Epstein...
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
why we even acting like it would make a difference if Trump/Epstein videos exist and are released? It wouldn't turn off a single one of his supporters. It would probably become a new holiday tradition where they watch it every Flag Day like most people watch It's A Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
D U C K M U S I C chat make whatever this is go viral please
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
Online commentators and pundits and journalists don't use the word "bloviating" nearly enough anymore and it shows
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
I've grown numb by now to the daily occurrence of porn spambot accounts 'liking' the posts where I announced the death of my parents. Everything's great, everybody. The internet is wonderful and life in 2025 is just A-OK!
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
Are you coming to Uncle Whrimm Rahm’s Randy Dandy Rump Roast?
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
Just told ChatGPT to "generate a fun image" and it came up with this??
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 09/07/2025
Alan Wake type shit
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 09/07/2025
Was not a fan. But thanks for asking.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 09/07/2025
So very proud of my Brewers this season
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 08/07/2025
Sure, waterboarding sounds bad and all, but have YOU ever been a 31 year old condescendingly referred to as "lil bro" by somebody born in 2006?
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 07/07/2025
Looking forward to Trump's DOJ to announce that JFK wasn't really assassinated either and to please stop talking about it
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
what do you MEAN the megabill passed? What...what about this?? This wasn't enough to stop it?
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
change of July 4th plans for me - in lieu of viewing the fireworks instead I will be being sad
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
How long until Chuck Schumer drafts a strongly worded letter lecturing and scolding us for roasting Jeffries in the comments on his original post?
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
I don't want to ever hear about "hot honey" ever again.
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
my brain can't handle it
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Reuben Glaser @reubenglaser.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
I still can't get over how they have already rebooted The Smurfs three times since I was in high school.
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