iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 16h

Dear diary, I’m kinda thinking it could be fun to form a small group with my technologist friends and do like a super brief standup every day. I’m gonna ponder this.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Dear diary, Yeah, other than deleting some cringy texts (lmao) and dressing more comfortably than aesthetically ideal, today has been more peaceful than I was expecting. Special occasions are fun.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Dear diary, I rarely drink alcohol, and only in social / sentimental settings, because a) “alcohol in an NDN killer” and I was raised by teetotalers who had religious rejections of it. (I actually gained some privileges by converting to a different religion to an adult, rather than losing them).

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

She was like “oh I love this song” and I was like “me too” and then mentioned who I got it from and it was a small-smile moment.

000

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Dear diary, My cousin’s wedding is tomorrow and I’m stoked. Rehearsal dinner tonight. One of the helpful easy things about seeing my family is that dressing polished but western is way easier than non-western formalwear life, like, I can wear boots and not have to overthink it. I got roasted for

100

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Dear diary, I’ve heard a lot about “Obsession” and I’m normally into prestige horror, but I’ve heard more then one person joke being like “this is just the standard experience of dating Latinas” and I am afraid to recognize that 😂 I think watching it with a partner at some point is the solution.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The sound of women screaming is a huge trigger for me, one of only ones that really truly feels incredibly painful that I *have* to block out. I can’t handle it. I wish I didn’t have this trigger, but I do, and on the bad days all I can see is the horrific experience on the other side. I hear it in

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I feel like the term “to hell and back again” could apply to our personal / individual narratives, if we both want to do that in our writing. I’ve been looking for resources on navigating the writer world with you. Your slope is *much* steeper than mine, and you seem like you know first hand that

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

open.spotify.com/track/3AqPL1... I walk through this mental palace pretty much every day and I’m building a home in my own heart so that for the “him” in for for him, because I want him to feel like he is coming home after a long adventure and because it’s time to make out about it silently.

open.spotify.com

To Build A Home

The Cinematic Orchestra, Patrick Watson · Ma Fleur · Song · 2007

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Dear diary, I do not need to hear graphic things about the latest Cornell scandal and I am so freaking sick of the weirdo social media plague of reminding us, graphically, over and over. We know. We know how bad it gets. I spent my teen years in an active war zone: you don’t think I had to learn

120

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Dear diary, I rough drafted an article about “big fish”, because if I’m not putting my effort into porting straight to video I should be at least be putting effort into porting to long form media. My microblog posts always end up being long form anyway; I should be more professional about it.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Dear diary, Being a celibate athlete is wild because I’m in the best shape of my life, but it’s mostly because I don’t have much better to do than go train. Decentering men and romantic relationships is a mutual commitment my sister and I made that also helps with this. Would I love to be

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Dear diary, My sleep schedule has gotten WAY better. I’m waking up with the sun and going to bed at a normal time. This is a big win for me because I have to have meetings and participate in society during the day, lol. I wanna make this round of interviewing count. But the cool thing is that

120

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Dear diary, My cousin’s wedding is coming up and I’m sooo stoked for her (they’re an amazing couple); I’m also just getting a lot out of being able to plan and to dress up. (I rarely get the chance to wear very feminine clothing because of my job and hobbies; for me, femininity absolutely feels

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Dear diary / note to self: I need to finish the guest list for the Halloween / Day of the Dead party and decide how to include remote, non-romantic friends who I still appreciate a lot even if our connection is platonic / non-romantic. I’m excited to be alive and I love having stuff to plan.

030

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Thinking about watching / reviewing some of the movies this entire debacle has reminded me of. (God I fking love him even though it was an accident to fall for him and whatever whatever) - You’ve Got Mail [ readers can leave more in the comments if they have an opinion too]

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Dear diary, I finally got the initial party info for my November 30th event setup on Partiful, and I sent out some test invites. I’ll brainstorm more of my plans and including my remote friends but for now, I can breathe a sigh of relief just knowing that’s done and that we can look forward to it.

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Unhinged mood-lifter tip: go on Reddit and read the testimonies of people with very specific problems that you don’t currently have. I have a whole little mental list of problem-specific subreddits I peruse when I need a gratitude-support. I’m also obsessed with the idea of never having to get

120

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I wish I could be an academic theology nerd, omg. I’m behind af.

020

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Dear diary, It’s remarkable how many songs use the term “something to believe in”, because I need that too, lol.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Dear diary, Today we must - continue to setup second rounds and study for technicals (one live coding and one system design, usually). I don’t like to talk about my options too early but things are good. I have ever *not* been advanced to a second round. In my experience, I get past the

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Dear Diary, I yap so much in so many different platforms that even I am exhausted and disoriented trying to read it all. I think a daily digest, with a calendar, pics, and a summary of all the writing that was posted today could make for a better model of sharing thoughts with busy people.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I want to create this today because I need something to distract myself from ouch, and also need something to believe in and look forward to when I am troubled by homesickness / carrying a bizarrely heavy weight

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Dear diary, Melancholy but sunny morning. Peaceful. Quiet. Productive. Very homesick and craving realness / authenticity somehow.

100

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I prolly gotta make a disentangler specific node (compounds better, easier to keep the sun-net clean, etc. everyone has their own methodology for organizing their nets; it’s a fierce guarded trade secret for most people. ANYWAY. I picked up my phone to be like “did any other high control raised

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Dear diary, These are incredibly funny. This is like, hardcore game theory humor www.instagram.com/p/Ddjt1clidC...

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Dear diary, I think I may be in luteal. The last few have been easier than usual, I feel. Regardless, joy is always within reach and I’m choosing to see it as like…an emotional workout period, a time to test my ability to self-correct and cling to the positive stuff

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

We are at 686 and I have the dazed feeling of someone who has looked up to discover it is five pm. It was a good and necessary day (I did need the studying and I did need the extra rest) but I will go insane if I do this regularly.

030

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear Diary: The Tubi logo/animation is surprisingly cool. I like the font choice, and the color palette on it. I weirdly love graphic design and things like marketing and brand identity. I’ll try to remember to link the southside jiu jitsu brand book here, as well as some startups probably

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Will always, always re-post this every time it organically comes up on my feed. Somedays you feel, some days you choose, most days have some of both. All are sacred.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, The universe is honestly so incredibly insane and also full of surprises. You will be minding your own business on a Saturday night, getting on the mats to lead a class, because you have nothing better to do an a Saturday night, and then someone you have never will walk in and it will

130

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, Thankfully I got a lot of work done this evening, including finally working on my portfolio. Now I can work on other tasks that are kinda better if they’re dragged out (mindful) and take a long time. That’s a good thing. Time science, and our use of it, is a good thing.

000

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, It is now 14 minutes past ten pm. iYKYK.That is my signal to ramp things up a little bit for my last project of the day. Tumblr, perhaps, may help, but it’s not for the faint of heart.

000

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, This song has now come on shuffle like, three separate times today. It has a low change of coming up on shuffle, just statistically. I honor the Ancestors and log this without analysis or editorializing. storing the fact & consulting others tomorrow, as a Maya hotblood must.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, Okay I found a few examples I can point to that make things feel slightly better. I keep getting fully pulled out of the moment and having to start over, but I am down to start over. (If this post makes no sense to you it’s not for you 🫶🏻😊)

000

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, I know it’s a questionable decision to caffeinate at 8:00 PM but I still have things to do before I can fully rest / lay down for the night Fatigued but meal prep and patience / compartmentalization of intrusive worries still need effort from me. Hoping more energy will help both.

010

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, Took a very long shower to detangle my hair; it had gotten pretty tangled from resting during the high-pain days I had this last week. Took about fifteen minutes. Need to get the ends cut but I’m native so cutting my hair is like, a whole thing (it’s waist length at the moment).

120

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, Bout to hope in the shower and decide there if I’m heading to practice at the club or if I’m so practicing tonight.

110

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear diary, My left outer knee ligament hurts when I put weight on it, and my tailbone feels weirdly injured. I was hoping to go to practice AND write about practice (two distinct efforts), but the injuries are giving me a pause. Imma hop in the shower and think about it either way, but would

100

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Dear Diary, Sentimental song came on shuffle right as the monsoon was picking up. The video is to record / verify but idk if it uploaded with sound properly. If not, the song is

100

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Dear diary, I was born on a Tuesday, and I think that fact literally every Tuesday. Tuesday is my Roman Empire. I must be stopped.

120

Rebeca Carrillo Dzib (Bala’am K’an Ak’Bal Ts’ib ) @rebecacarrillojj.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Dear diary, I’m enjoying a “work on party a little bit every day”, Kai zen type stuff for October 30th, and I’m exploring possible costume ideas. This image is absolutely sending me for some reason. ghost from cod laundering his lil fashionista masks for his next field trip to an active warzone💀

010