iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 10/09/2025

if you cook jigglypuff is that pork

joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

guy who came up with emergency alerts: we should make the phones shriek when there's a life threatening emergency. i'm talkin' tornadoes. earthquakes. hurricanes. tsunamis. wildfire. volcanic eruptions. landslides - what else? dave in the back: missing elderly folks

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

don’t worry everyone i am yelling at god he knows we are mad

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 14/08/2025

33 years old, reflecting on my youth with horror,

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 21/07/2025

my toxic trait is when someone posts a photo with the caption “felt cute might delete later” i always comment “delete now”

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 11/07/2025

gonna buy a yo-yo and get really good at it so i can travel to every school across the country performing yo-yo tricks onstage in their auditoriums as a thinly veiled way to indoctrinate the youth with the word of christ

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

don't move to LA unless you've visited during the month of june to make sure the jacarandas aren't poisonous to your little bitch baby body

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

reflecting on my life with horror, realizing i have become the very thing i once feared: the neighbor who scream sneezes by their open window

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

uh oh, mama sprained her ankle this weekend :-]

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 31/05/2025

you know how people are like “i always wished I could eat the pizza from the goofy movie” or like, the creme de la creme from aristocats? well mine’s the metal from the leg braces that fall off when forrest gump starts running. what vitamin deficiency is that

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

i think all my problems would probably disappear if i owned a pair of bitchy little sunglasses

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 14/05/2025

don't you dare judge me until you've walked a mile in my Strappy Stiletto Heels Square Open Toe Heeled Sandals For Wedding Bridal Prom Party Evening Funeral Dress Shoes For Women Comfortable Sexy Dressy Cute Ankle Strap Zip Up Strappy Slingbacks (orange)

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

the new pope should have been daniel radcliffe. no clue if he's catholic but i know that little man loves doing weird shit

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 24/04/2025

i can’t believe they took away the curly cords on phones. “but natalie,” you DARE to challenge, “technology evolves!” okay??? you took away my fidget rope. now what am i supposed to finger fuck while the person on the other end drones on about their dipshit day????

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 22/04/2025

my therapist cancelled on me today. time for mama to do something reckless and unwise that unnecessarily complicates her life for the next 6-12 years 😎

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 17/04/2025

just got the worst phone call of my life. i'm no longer allowed at the movie theater on account of my evil bird companion

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

this thought woke me from a deep slumber last night and I just HAD to write it down so I wouldn’t forget to share it

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

sharing a little bit of my diary :-]

I’m tired of Being Alive. I’m ready to let my spirit haunt some shitty community theatre in Small Town, Texas where I can spy on the married assistant director fucking the comic relief in the light booth after rehearsal! I wanna loudly knock shit over backstage during performances and time it so my least favorite cast member gets all the blame!! Let me drop a lantern from the catwalk and loosen all the screws on the set during tech week! I’d be so good at it!!!!!!!

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

every morning upon rising i recite this passage from my notes app and refuse to acknowledge any other reality until the sun goes down

It’s 2005. I’ve just logged onto MSN messenger and all my friends are all online. In another window I’ve been reading the latest installment of “I’m a GIRL……..in an ALL BOYS BOARDING SCHOOL????????!!!!” on Quizilla. It’s helping me take my mind off the fact that I just wrote “fuck” in an AIM chat to my cousin and she told me my aunt read it over her shoulder. I squeeze my American Heart Association stress ball, but ouch! My hand’s been cramping from writing a 4 page, college spaced, front-and -back, angry open letter in sparkly gel pen to the person who posted “SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE” on the Xanga homepage last summer! Mom comes in and makes me disconnect from the internet because she needs to call her sister in Kansas, so I open Microsoft Hearts and rename all the computer opponents dirty words before losing miserably to all of them. Can you believe 9/11 was only four years ago? I still believe in god. I am safe.

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

my doctor doubled my prozac so i did my makeup!

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

life hack: go to the bowling alley and just steal people's fuckin shoes

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

making a list of everything i need to do. i'm not gonna do any of it but at least my ever present fears are now arranged all nice and tidy instead of bouncing around in my head like the dvd logo

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

something cool and fun about my new downstairs neighbors is they hammer with ABANDON. are they nailing pictures on the wall? fucking against a janky shelf? knocking little holes in the wall so they can hide abominable filth inside? who's to say? but they're doing it at all hours!

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

i'm mad as hell at this bitch for calling the cops on these chickens and then doxxing them online

screenshot of a nextdoor post that reads "I just got back from walking my dog up on the trails behind the Merry Ground, and when I was walking back down to my car, someone had dumped three roosters/chickens. I alerted the park rangers, and they came, but they were unable to catch them. If anybody is interested/experienced in catching them, I've included a picture of where they are in the park.

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

i'm from texas so you may hear me say things like, "my aunt has started going to strip clubs to convert the dancers to the baptist faith"

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

calling it "fruit punch" is so lazy and vague. what do you mean??? tell me which fuckin ones, you psycho

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

killed another houseplant. who wants me

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

HAPPY NEW YEAR in this timeline it is 2025 . We have made it. in many timelines we did not,, feeling grateful for this new year and for all of my """"''followers"'''''' who read what i ""bang out"" on this ""keyboard"" and ''"""""''like"""""' it

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 31/12/2024

fucked the moth man again. i know he's just a guy in a moth suit but he's my guy in a moth suit

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

California Woman Caught Horny-Posting About Hometown Thunderstorm

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

don't go to twitter i'm horny tweeting about a cartoon mouse over there

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 16/12/2024

what the hell are the planets doing all day? you're telling me they all just spin around up there at varying speeds alone with their thoughts? no social media? no little drink as a treat while you're out running errands? no discothèque? such hell

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 16/12/2024

as the crowd screamed, "crucify him!" jesus looked down at his people and said, "this one's for natalie beech, a slut from the future"

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

if i owned an airline there would be no seatbelts because i'm not a pussy

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

i'm up to 899 followers! growing our little community <3 as incentive, the 900th person to follow me will win a voodoo doll which can be used to cause me harm at any opportunity that strikes your fancy

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

yoohoo, boys! look over here! i'm INJURED and SCREAMING

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

give us youtube Wrapped you watched 82 hours of maritime disasters! your top watched channels: -webMD -an unstable woman living above her means in LA you love these genres! -stream of consciousness -plane crash -chiropractor ASMR -unqualified body language experts

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

it has been made apparent to me that the "''Mothman" i used to fuck on-and-off over the course of 7 years was not *THE* Mothman and instead "a guy in a moth costume." devastating.

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

32 years old, reflecting on my youth with horror,

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joke nicholson @reallancebass.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

happy thanksgiving! i might have had a bowl of grass with my coffee today, who's to say

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