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Real DHumor

@realdonaldhumor.bsky.social
143 followers 39 following 358 posts
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Dumb Voter: Phew, no war until the midterms.. Prices will only go up after Nov..
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Is Planet earth going to be called Planet America?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Is Mexican food is moving up north? Is TACO is going to be popular in Canada soon?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Like split of MMR vaccine into 3 separate shots for kids, is the recommendation to split breakfast for adults into 3 parts spaced over an hour - orange juice, toast and eggs separated? So adults don’t nap during the day?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Can leftover gold paint be used as hair dye?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
It requires a scientist for a Senator to figure out what day of the week it is…
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Confused.. Is today “Drop Bombs Day” OR “Peace Talk Day” ?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter was seeking feedback from peers for the performance review. Both John and Joe gave the same feedback: “He and I, we’ve had a hell of a journey. I hate it to end this way. Oh my God, I hate it. All I can say is count me out. Enough is enough."
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Breaking News: This friday in Mount Bürgenstock overlooking Lake Lucerne, never ever done before in history, two countries will be signing.. The MoM (Memorandum of Mis-understanding)
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Change of plans.. no more Greenland, Canada or Cuba.. Belgium it is!
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Algae to humans: Don’t you know that we produce 50% of the atmospheric Oxygen? Want to strike a deal and return back to good old days?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Navigator to Captain: “Sir, is the strait open or closed now? Google map says it’s open, Chatgpt says it’s closed.” Captain to Navigator: “Mate, Turn off the lights and engine. We will be on the other side of the strait overnight.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Evite teaser game.. Send out a evite to RSVP for a party in switzerland. After RSVP reply is yes, send out a “Sry, that evite was sent to wrong email address. It’s not an invitation for you! Ignore the Evite!”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
After the short commercial break (since Feb)… we return to the next season of “The E-Files” Who is looking forward to the new season, this time without any commercial breaks?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Plan is to legalize marijuana.. No wonder following are true: - $0 last week is $300 Billion this week. - No toll last week is no toll for 60 days only (all bets off after that). What is everyone smoking this week?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
The Art of Climax: What goes up must come down… (except when it comes down it is hidden behind a tarp)
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Who doesn’t “love inflation”? It’s as good as looking at solar eclipse with bare eyes.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
What to do when everyone starts bailing out of a Birthday party? Let the Birthday boy cut the cake all by himself..
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Several declassified UFO files were redacted to ensure the privacy of aliens who look at solar eclipse with bare eyes.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Before: “On Day 1 the war will end”… After: On Day 473.. “There will be a THREE DAY CEASEFIRE”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Project “Don’t worry Be Happy” will commence tomorrow at noon… And pause 2 days later when the rent is overdue.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
Next stop.. Using a toilet plunger or snake to clear the clog created in the strait?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Perfect day at the beach: - Taking a stroll on the sand - Listening to the waves - Watching sunset - Admiring sea gulls - Not looking at seashells on the seashore.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
A ballroom in every house will Make America Safe Again!
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
“TACO Happy Hour” is so popular that it will be extended every day forever.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
90 deals in 90 days is old fashioned… 90 TACOs in 90 days is in..
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Pope “weak on crime?” Yup, when there have been no reported homicides in Vatican City within the past 10 years (2016–2026), he has got to be weak on crime - as there is no data about how good he is to handle crime.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
Brilliant idea? Neighbor (who lives mile away) cat strays into owner’s yard… Owner parks his car in front of neighbor’s driveway to blockade the cat from roaming.. Blockade solves every world chaos and disagreements.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
He: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” She: “I never had a relationship with him. I am not his victim.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
If one doesn’t have the stomach to buy and sell stocks based on tweets, does it make sense to buy and hold coffee and tobacco stocks? Joint Chief of Staff Gen. Caine said: “Along the way, we consumed more than 950,000 gallons of coffee, 2 million energy drinks, and a lot of nicotine.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Art of Giving in to Kids: Before Baskin Robbins Ice-cream - “A whole civilization built on giving ice-cream to kids will die tonight. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will.” After Baskin Robins Ice-cream - “2 Million scoops of ice-cream to EVERY kid after EVERY meal”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Is it true McDonald might have a “TACO Happy Hour” on Tuesday evening?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
At the next congressional hearing.. “The Dow dropped 4,000 points. People get fired. That’s what we should be talking about.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
In Germany beer is cheaper than water.. In the US flying is cheaper than driving a car..
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Many are wishing PolyJohn Enterprises was publicly traded company. Would have made a killing as PolyJohn is the largest porta-potty company. Don’t we need a lot of those porta-potties while waiting for hours in the TSA lines?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Very classy when someone dies and you can say: “Good, I am glad he is dead.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
At the next congressional hearing? “The Dow dropped 5,000 points. Shorting stocks and making money is what we should be talking about.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Guess DNI thinks.. Only governor decides if a criminal with a gun is a threat, not the police!
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
Strait of Hormuz data: Number of ships that used to cross before (per DAY) = 138/day Number of ships that have crossed between Feb 28th and Mar 12th (2 weeks) = 15
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
Wife: “When will it end? Your watching sports all the time on TV and starting to clean the dishes that are piling up in our home sink?” Husband: “When I feel it in my bones.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
Never ask for a blanket on any flight.. you may lose your job!
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
90 is a lovely round number.. 90 reasons why we did it… 90 deals in 90 days…
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
When a dad crashes his car on his daughter’s car parked on his driveway, it reminds one of how exciting it is must be shooting down your drones with your own lasers. What can I say.. daughter never told dad she has parked her car in his driveway.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
April 2, 2025 - Liberation Day April 1, 2026 - Refund Day?
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
Houston, we have a problem… There is a guy in the returns line with a suitcase full of receipts and is demanding we refund all the “tariff surcharges” on those receipts..
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Does 2nd amendment allow the right to keep and bear pagers? Apparently 2A doesn’t permit the right to keep and bear cell phones.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Told my neighbor 10 houses down the street: If he doesn’t let me park my car on his driveway, I am going to impose a 10% tariff when his cat comes on my yard. and… Told other neighbors in the block if they let his cat come thru their yards to my yard I will impose 10% tariff on all their cats.
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
Afghanistan… Iraq… Venezuela…
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
Day 1 never comes.. On Day 1 there was supposed to be PEACE… Day 1 is tomorrow.. Tomorrow, Day 1 will again be tomorrow.. Pope Leo “Among the things that cause me great sadness is the fact that Russia has apparently rejected a request for a truce.”
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Real DHumor @realdonaldhumor.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
Is it true Black toner cartridges are in short supply for Epson printers? Wonder why?
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