iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

i ate A LOT today, but i just hit 30k steps so it's probably fine idc

AAAH i miss starving. kinda wish i was fat, so i could restrict heavily without worrying my family

ngl, sometimes i miss being at bmi 13, it felt like i achieved something exceptional. it's quite nice to have a semi-working brain though

I just weighed myself, and at the end of the day (I ate a lot, and I'm considerably drunk rn, so it's not fully accurate) I'm on the border between bmi 15 and 16. I think I'd like to get to bmi 15.5, which would mean losing 1.5kg, probably less if I'm on an empty stomach :) It feels safe

WHAT IF i went on a diet to lose like 2 kg and nothing more

i should probably stop drinking, i always end up considering relapsing 💀

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AAH but what if. what if i'm considered fat by ed standards, and i have reverse body dysmorphia 🥲

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sometimes i look at my old b0dychecks, and i find my old body to be too thin, so there's at least that ig

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i'm really confused, i don't want my body to be perceived as healthy (i think??). is bmi 15/16 considered slim, but still normal by societal standards?

adela @putridum.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

recently i've found myself wondering if people still see my body as too thin. i mean, i did gain a bunch since i was forced into recovery (like 8kg?), and i got my period back, but my chest bones are still clearly visible? idk how to feel about it all

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thank you!! 🤍🤍🩷

adela @putridum.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

i hope that each of you will find the motivation to fight for yourself and your life, even if it sounds terrifying. i love you all, stay safe 🤍

adela @putridum.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

hello!! quick update – recovery is going amazing :3 i am maintaining 45kg while eating 1600+ kcal everyday. turns out that i love cooking (it's my new favourite hobby), and i actually enjoy my life for the first time in a long time :3 it was hard at first but it gets better with time :)

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adela @putridum.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

slightly positive update: i dyed my hair black, and i'm hot once again:3

adela @putridum.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

i'm so terribly afraid of gaining weight, but at the same time i'm so angry at my brain for failing me. i used to be so smart, so creative, and now i'm just an empty, pretty shell of a person. it's so sad

adela @putridum.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

forced recovery is NOT going well, i'm still purging and currently drunk

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adela @putridum.bsky.social · 02/03/2025

i ate pizza and im genuinely tweaking out i want to purge it out so badly AAAHAG

what partially motivated me is the fact that i can't walk up the stairs without feeling like i might die 💀

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i don't feel THAT bad about it, but i was contemplating eating for five hours, and i decided to fuck it. i'm not getting send to a hospital

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i ate a normal lunch without restricting and counting calories 💪🏻 AND i had two big pieces of cake that i made AND i'm not purging it out :3 my plan is to gain around 5 kg? we'll see

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41.5 on the scale :) maybe,,, maybe i can hit 39 before i go on recovery😭

at least i hit bmi 13 before i was forced to recover 💔 you'll be missed (i'll be back at this weight in the summer idc)

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don't lie to me rn, i saw the pics you posted yesterday 😭 your body is STUNNING‼️‼️

skinny era is over <//3

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she said that if the psychiatrist agrees i will be put on a one-two month long trial, and if i don't get better my ass is getting sent to the hospital 💀

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IM AT RISK OF HOSPITALIZING LMAO my bmi is too low, and i need a paper from psychiatrist before i can continue therapy kms

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i'm in the waiting room with one lady, and she keeps staring at me 💀

i got the apprenticeship :3 and now i'm walking to see the therapist 🫡 pray for my stupid ass

i'm starting to get stressed :( i have an appointment regarding my internship (i really hope that my appearance will not be a problem) in two hours, and then the therapy at 1 pm 😞

the second option is buying a bottle of vodka and drinking that bitch on an empty stomach

i'm genuinely considering having the biggest b/p known to mankind before i see the therapist tomorrow

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missing my pink hair like crazy rn GOD it looked so good i need it back

cigarette,,, cigarette, save me from the binge urges, please 🙏🏻🙏🏻

"my camera loves you" bitch i look constipated 😭

the photographer who asked me to take some pics at the gothic festival half a year ago just messaged me and 💀 it's so weird to look at pictures where i have eyebrows and no bangs

i'm meeting a therapist specialized in eating disorders tomorrow :( i'm a little scared, but i accepted my fate already lol

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at least i can almost wrap my hand around my upper arm 🫡 i want it i need it PLEASE

it's 2 am and i just finished purging my binge, i'm so tired of this life 🥲 i'm skipping my classes tomorrow (today??)

adela @putridum.bsky.social · 26/02/2025

i went out to buy an energy drink, and the cashier told me that i'm really thin AAH

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Reposted by adela

Doodle Bug 🪳 @realbughours.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

Hoping my mysterious aura and unusual dressing habits attract the local lesbians but thus far ive been unsuccessful and im starting to get Desperate

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adela @putridum.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

currently waiting for my family to go to sleep so i can start pacing around the room in circles 🫡

adela @putridum.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

took a bodycheck pic while laying down, and DAMN. maybe i'm a little disordered

im DRUNK drunk. scared to go and smoke a ciggy drunk

i wish it was warm enough for me to wear my silly little outfits when i go out😞 how am i supposed to be hot in two oversize sweaters

mom told me to put on false eyelashes so i can find a girlfriend??? supportive queen ig

i just ate the yogurt :3 drinking is still a risk, but hopefully i'll still be alive tomorrow 🙏🏻 haha

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