iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I MANAGED TO FALL ASLEEP AND NAP TODAY!!!!! THATS LIKE THE 2ND TIME THIS YEAR!!!!! HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!! Deadass that must be like the 14th or 15th time in my entire life that i napped jesus fuck.

110

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

des you are way too good at staying awake when you are incredibly sleep deprived and that is a core problem holy shit. yknow with the days becoming shorter and night falling earlier this might be the perfect opportunity to just crash asleep earlier and earlier to coerce my brain to get more sleep.

001

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

ive come to determine that i am a smudge

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Not gonna make any judgements yet but..... I've been going hard with getting my APAP therapy to give better results and after dialing with settings and masks for months.....I mightve landed it. Today my brain's feeling things it hasn't felt in a decade o_O It's subtle......but......

020

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

oouugghhhhfhhffhfhfhh ive never felt this slay energy in my LIFE

022

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

guyts theyre crumpling me up into a ball tomorrow

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

i am slowly but shrimply happy to be me :]

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

aaaaa okay now i know the lifts im doing are working because i feel my arm muscles fucking GROWING OW OW OW OW

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

today was an emotional rollercoaster after finding old pics of me from 2 years ago, 5 years ago, 8 years ago and realizing that wow I hated myself to such a deep level, but pretended I didnt! but throughout today I kept looking at myself in the mirror...and realized i actually liked who I saw :]

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

liiiifffeeee has been feeling different. In a good way.

021

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I need to keep getting worse but in a positive way but in a worse way but in a positive way but in a worse way but in a positive way but in a worse way but in a positive way but in a worse way but in a positive way but in a worse way but in a positive way but in a worse way but in a positive way bu

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I have leeaarrrrnneeedddd recently that I need to make every day count in a meaningful way. There might be a lot to be done, but I can do it :]

030

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Today I was able to push myself to do so much........and I feel almost zero fatigue.........it can like physically feel my brain exercising itself. It feels ADDICTING.

110

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

mmmmm ive been forcing myself to look at myself from an outsiders perspective and that's honestly been the core to a looooot of realizations ive been having about myself.

020

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

yknow today I looked at myself in the mirror and I actually enjoyed seeing the person on the other side :]

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

I like how like a 5% improvement in my sleep debt has already resulted in multiple major shifts in the bird brain

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

also imma be real today I dropped so many fuck's ive always held onto for way too long

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

i think i've finally got a fucking grapple of my ability to sleep more or less proper now. it took months and months of training, but i THINK i can finally fall back asleep even after sleeping 6 - 8 hours.......it just takes 60 minutes to fall back asleep, but by god it's a genuine piece of hope.

100

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

god. i think im finally feeling the effects of the improved sleep I've had the past few weeks. I'm feeling genuinely happy today :]

020

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

the week I get the best sleep in months is the same week I get the clearest image of who i need to be. goooooood lord everything i never realized is just clicking together.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

ooohhhhhhh god ive been getting so much better sleep this past week. I swear it feels subtle, but by god my fatigue might actually be improving. ooooohhhhhhhh please tell me I can continue this without another mole to whack.

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

slowly slowly feeling like my true bird self.

030

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

I have been doing so much in my life lately but at the same time the voice in my head is telling me it's not enough and I gotta do more and that it's not enough and I gotta do more and that it's not enough and I gotta do more and that it's not enough and I gotta do more and that oh and bird more

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Out of nowhere I started referring to myself as Des in my head way WAY more often. Whats even more wacky is that I realized I NEVER call myself by my real name in my head. Gee what could this mean.

030

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I readjusted some of the settings on my APAP and WOAH W O A H WOAH OKAY HOLD ON

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

after doing lifts consistency the past bit i am seeing physical progress........ ............ ................................

130

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

I think I've had enough of a self reflection period in my life. Now it's time to do.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

one of those nights realizing hrrmrmmrmmmmnn ive been enjoying not giving a fuck no more

020

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

asking myself more and more often how I even i even ended up in this stupid bird life

020

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

iii'mmmm coming to realize i need to stop being so harsh with my looks. I'm better than I think, and even when I was closer to my goal 2 years ago, my dysphoria still had such an iron grip that i missed out on that opportunity earlier. If i wanna be happy with myself, I'll be happy with me first :]

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

every time i ask myself what even is my stupid bird life. and then life immediately gets stupider. see: me learning how to play magic the gathering for the first time. at the sex club.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

tooooxic thoughts getting louder in my head re body image. practically everyone in my life reassures me it does not matter. that voice of doubt in my head tells me that an uncomfortable number of people do in fact judge consciously or subconsciously. it says a lifes experience is the truth.

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

y'know, I know i have a lot to improve on still, but it kinda feels like the core of my anxiety has shattered itself away. I can just be who i wanna be, do what I wanna do for the sake of myself, not to appease anyone else.

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I'm kinda fuckin bummed that every time I seem to be improving with my sleep/fatigue issues, something else whacks me from the side of the head like a game of whack-a-mole. But by god. I'm still trying fucking everything that I can. I know I'm capable of so much more.

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

soooooo much has been coming together lately. It's sad my fatigue prevented all this from happening faster, but ive been battling it, and i'm no longer getting worse. I've never had this much hope in my life, possibly ever. I'm genuinely, eternally grateful for everyone who's helped along the way :]

031

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

BRIEF MOMENTS OF DOUBT ASIDE..... I'm feelin some epic bird in me :]

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

once again fighting the brainworms that I'm boring and lame and unappealing and dont do enough to be an interesting person, but dammit I still want to do everything and anything for myself and to spite those emotions.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

I'm tired of running in the same circles for all my life boss. Like, really really tired. I want to be the person I've always wanted to be. And after so much self reflection, so much development, so many new experiences, it's time to break out of the circles ive stuck myself in. I'm ready boss.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Good fucking god I've had so much brain development hit me the past week alone i still haven't fully processed it.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

aaausuguguguugaiauaiaauu everything is clicking together in the bird brain

011

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Houuugggggfghhhfghh as much as I've been quipping my Florida trip, its been a much needed soft reset for me. I feel so so so much less tense about everything now. It's finally time to change so much of me that I've been stuck on for so many fuckin years.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

Something in me clicked out of nowhere today. For the first tine ever, I think I finally have a clear image of what I want to physically look like, that doesnt make me feel dysphoric. This is genuinely such a bizarre feeling.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

looking back at posts from a year and going oufghufgh if only that dumbass bird knew

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

I'm feeling happy :] I'm feeling hopeful :] I will do Absolutely everything I can To be the person I know I can be :]

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

I managed to nap for 90 minutes today with the help of meds......... After it I've felt far less of the painful sting of fatigue all day. I've been able to read my books like I'm gliding on ice. I'm noticing more detail in the world around me. Jesus fuck. I think it's working.

010

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Here's hoping everything i suspected with my sleep is true

000

Deranged Avian @purpurpoultry.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

praying to god my doctor prescribes me sleeping pills so i can actually catch up on my sleep debt because my body literally refuses to fall asleep outside of 10pm. my bitchass brain is gonna get a rude realization that this ain't a well rested state.

010