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Pup Kugel

@pupkugel.bsky.social
412 followers 105 following 65 posts

I am dog. Bjork Bjork Seattle

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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Landlording should work like terraria. People don’t pay rent and set up little shops in their home and occasionally be ready to throw hands with literal gods as soon as they walk through the door even though they can’t really help cuz the best weapon they own is a kitchen knife
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I like armpit because it’s like putting stinky in my mouth
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Vampirism and gainer fetish are conceptually intertwined in how they both connect reproductive organs with the act of eating. In this essay I-
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I’m no better than a grass type pokemon the way I want to knot heavy dudes
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
If everyone just drove limousines no one would drive in each others blind spots anymore
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
If catboys were real their blowjobs would be really painful
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Instead of introducing their partner as their better half, hierarchical polyamorous people can use whatever fraction they want
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Party idea I make a Partiful and invite you all and all of you cancel because I don’t want to actually go through with throwing a party I just want to make a fun invite
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Being girlypop feels like I get all the benefits of the patriarchy with none of the downsides
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Sometimes I have this sense of heterosexual yearning that’s the same feeling as wishing I lived in a fantasy world. Like I see women that are so beautiful im like man I wish I could be attracted to them but heterosexuality doesn’t exist 😔
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
“I’m clicker training my pup” I’m injecting dopamine into a voodoo doll of my pup and it’s 20,000 times more effective
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Everyone talks about how high schoolers keep looking younger But no one talks about how the parents of high schoolers keep looking younger. Tell me why I somehow feel tricked by some twink with adult braces inviting tops over cuz his daughter is driving on a road trip, confiscate his sunscreen wtf
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Could you imagine growing up lgbt in the 60s it must’ve been awful. Like zero hyper pop, no speed core, I’d just have to listen to the beetles or smth
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Maybe just Mandela effect but did the moon used to be made of cheese?
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
*perfect parries your dick making you cum instantly*
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
It feels like there’s not a great word a daddy can use back to refer to his boy (just saying ‘hey, boy’ is kind of awkward, it’s giving ‘forgot their name’). Except when you’re a pup because I really feel the age play when a millennial calls me “doggo”
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Hot guy: takes off his shirt Me: Chudai
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
No one ever talks about gay bathhouse survivor bias where hot guys enter, find a hookup quickly because they’re hot, and leave.This causes unhot men to take up the majority of bathhouse hours even if most entering men are hot.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
I think about how Katy Perry killed that nun at least once a week
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Three bean ché is one of my favorite desserts which confuses some people that I just want three kinds of beans over ice as a treat. As if a vanilla mocha isn’t just three bean water.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
No one talks about the most difficult part of trying to lift someone small and fuck them which is staying hard while your blood is pumping to your biceps. Hydraulic boners are honestly a flawed system
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
Catfishing is lame until you view it as the modern equivalent of being a Siren
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
Going to an Indian restaurant and asking for a ‘chai tea’ just to feel something
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
About 1 in every 8192 people’s very first starter Pokemon was a shiny.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Sonic the hedgehog’s personality being based on Bill Clinton is one of the only times I’ve legitimately felt the need to fact check Wikipedia
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Bark no homo
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
When you rip your jeans they get more holes, but when you rip fishnets they get less holes
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Can I give a dog body dysmorphia by putting them in VR as a jacked furry?
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
You know how gay people often end up dating people that look like them? Well if you want to find yours a fast easy way is going on your barber’s instagram and looking through their followers and flirting with them.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 21/09/2025
Crazy how Tentacles can fit into every fantasy genre.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
Instead of hearing protection I’ve starting opening a settings menu in my head and turning down the master volume slider as a placebo
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 23/08/2025
If I put activated charcoal into holy water will it become normal water?
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
I could be your next skincare routine
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 01/08/2025
Waking up as a giant insect nowadays just doesn’t hit like it used to back in 1915. “oh no I hope I am not neglected by society in my new grotesque bo-.” Yeah shut up and get in the fake taxi.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
They really need to invent more deadly sins, I tried them all already
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
I ate the Reaper from Dave’s hot after Steamworks before realizing I couldn’t drink milk without it interfering with my Doxypep. Do I drink the milk? Do I choose burning when I poo or do I choose burning when I pee?
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
How do I tip a circumcised guy at the strip club? Like where do I tuck the dollar bills
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
god you’re so mentally ill *starts fondling your balls*
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 09/05/2025
Hemorrhoids are like the clitoris of the bussy if the clitoris got Botox
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
We should be friends!
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
My type I’m afraid
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
I’m going to dethrone coffee mate as America’s #1 creamer
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 20/03/2025
Gonna start one of those dine-in movies where they serve you the food in the movie as it comes on screen, but it’s porn and you get to lick the actors.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 01/02/2025
may I offer you some extra toe hair in these trying times
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
Call me the US Patriot Act the way your Bush has got me putting on a show at TSA
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
Getting caged is like the opposite of getting fixed.
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
“A Bear?” Me: puts on my baseball cap, cumming instantly “Kugel the Bear!”
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
I found a new lighting hack. Body dysmorphia cancelled
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
Call me Moses the way I’m fixated on your hot bush
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Pup Kugel @pupkugel.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Damn daddy are you Italy in the 1940s 😏 because you have no concept of boundaries
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