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punIssuer

@punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy
39 followers 8 following 451 posts

Lol, I forgot how to human... just kidding, I actually never knew. Social justice knave PFP is the Punisher-Skull, deformed to match the shape of the Lame Pun […] 🌉 bridged from ⁂ universeodon.com/@punissuer, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact

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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 09/10/2026
Voll-Zorn-Brot #PunOptikum #Wortwitz
Eine Semmel, in deren Rinde (und Innenleben) eine wütend aussehende Grimasse geschnitzt wurde, ein Wellenschliffmesser steckt zwischen deren Zähnen. Der Hintergrund ist das Holzbrett, auf dem sie liegt, umgeben von Bröseln vom Schnitzen.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
Bony M. with Daddy Ghoul #pun
Stock photo showing a skeleton (ribcage and above) and a ghoul behind it: a slender figure with a white face with dark, heavy rings around the eyes, under a veil-like cloak, of which an equally pale hand reaches out of. The hand has thin and longer-than-expected fingers
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 25/09/2026
🎶Play that fungi music, white boy!🎵 (Image shamelessly taken from www.tiktok.com/@ofthefforest/video/…) #pun
Black over-ear headphones on a mannequin's head, the visible cup painted red with white dots on it, resemblinga fly amanita's head. Text overlay reads: "Thus is an used I've had for a while. I wanted to make mushroom headphones! This is just a prototype, and not a very good one, but it gives me encouragement that it might work!"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 21/09/2026
Schwertransport (Schwert 'ran - Sport) #PunOptikum
Zwei Personen in einer Turnhalle mit  Helm und Handschuhen, die mit Übungsschwertern auf einander losgehen
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 21/09/2026
Gefährlich: Jom Kippuhr #Wortwitz
Schlagzeile "Person trapped after grandfather clock falls at Wichita apartment complex" auf dem Bild einer schräg gegen ein Fenster lehnenden Standuhr
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 27/07/2026
@davidgerard "🤔 …cone scent? What's that?" —every tech startup, it seems #PunOptikum
Drawing of a traffic cone with "smell lines" coming from the top of it. Bottom line says "Cone Scent". It's signed "punIssuer, 2026"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 23/07/2026
#FotoVorschlag "Hausmüll". Quelle: www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de/abriss… #WortWitz
Ein Bagger neben/in einem Haufen Bauschutt. der gerade dabei ist, die letzten Wandreste des mehrstöckigen Gebäudes abzutragen, das der Schutthaufen vorher war
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 09/07/2026
indeed, brandon.is.funny www.instagram.com/reels/DaakvFLpCKY
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 03/07/2026
cropped Tumblr thread:
"Sometimes you fit perfectly, but it's not the right place"
picture shows a half-full plastic Coca Cola bottle, screwed into a white socket on the ceiling, presumably for a lamp.

response by "shower-thoughts-last-responder":
"That is such an inspirational quote for such a dumbass thing to do"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 19/06/2026
phobic-human: "On International Women’s Day, we honor Vietnamese revolutionary Võ Thị Thắng. Here, she smiles after receiving a 20-year labor camp sentence from the US-backed South Vietnamese government. She told the judge: “20 years? Your government won’t […] [Original post on universeodon.com]
photo of a young, smiling Vietnamese woman with almost sholder-long, dark hair, wearing a black shirt; in front of a soldier in a green camo shirt, sun glasses and a dark helmet that reads either "OC" or "QC"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 03/06/2026
@ewerybody @tomstafford
Still image of Knight Rider: Michael Knight's hand aboout to press KITT's Turbo Boost button
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 20/05/2026
Flipped someone a bird today…
upside down clipart drawing of a pigeon
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 15/05/2026
Ground beef implies the existence of air beef. Image via www.pinterest.com/pin/8416108675956…
Drawing of a brown/white cow, flying towards the viewer, smiling, on two black/white butterfly wings on her back, whose wingspan is roughly her length, in front of a towering cloud in an otherwise blue sky
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 18/03/2026
Bumper sticker on a dark car, designed to look like an odometer; the first three places are "I", "R", "A", and the fourth is rolling over from "Q" to "N".

"The war isn't meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous."
– George Orwell
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 26/02/2026
@VeroniqueB99 better quality. Notice the license plate – Elon's?
"Somebody parked their cyber truck by the trash and people just thought it was another dumpster.😭"
Picture shows a CyberTruck next to dumpsters, it's bed overflowing with trash bags and cardboard boxes. The licence plate reads "IEATA55" (→ 'I eat ass')
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 19/02/2026
Das heißt, der beste Use Case:
Tweet by Steph Smith (@stephsmithio): 
"Sometimes in the process if writing a goodd enough prompt for ChatGPT, I end up solving my own problem, without even needing to submit it."

in front of a two panel Meme of Invincible: Omni-Man looking at a bunch of Data Center Server Racks, saying: "Look at what they need"…
Closeup of a slightly menacingly looking rubber duck: "to mimic a fraction of my power"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 17/02/2026
www.smbc-comics.com/comic/a-vicious…
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Comic:
Two men, in Western-era clothing (brown jacket, white shirt, tie, hat; M2 wearing glasses), are facing each other.
M1: "McCullough, we've got to stop the cycle of violence. It's taken too many of both our families."

They now look both in the same direction.
M2: "Agreed."

The frame zooms out, they are silhouettes in the background, front and center is a  
bicycle with spiky wheels, two chainsaws facing the front, knives on the handlebar, and a gun shooting backwards instead of a saddle.

Back at the men.
M1: "God, I hate that thing."
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 11/02/2026
Tweet by "Auntie Smartassy" (@AuntSassyAss, verified):
"Entering America illegally is a misdemeanor.
Sexually abusung children is a felony.

You got the wrong folks in cages."
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 06/02/2026
I wonder if scrying mirrors are a distant cargo-cult echo of #timeTravel. As in, one day, a time traveler showed up in a medieval town, and showed people a video of future events on their smart phone. While idle, the display was just a glossy black surface […] [Original post on universeodon.com]
A scrying mirror: shiny black surface in a bronze oval frame with intricate details
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 04/02/2026
Wales to go!
"Wales is set to become the first country to remove politicians for deliberately lying."
—The Investigative
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 23/01/2026
[makaberer Wortwitz] Aus der Serie Wortwitz im Bild: Pun-Opticum Ein Trauerspül
Detailaufnahme des Deckels eines Klos. Es ist eine Zeichnung angebracht, sie zeigt einen schwimmenden Goldfisch neben einem Grabstein. Unter der Zeichnung steht mit großen, bunten Buchstaben "GARY". Auf dem Spülkasten sind eine weiße, brennende Kerze, eine engelsartige Figur und kleine Plastik-Palmen.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 18/01/2026
(via www.tumblr.com/liberalsarecool/8060… )
Post by geanie714 [verified]:
"Dear ICE agents;
Your contract says you don't get the $50k and student loan forgiveness until after 5 consecutive years of service. That's year 2031 and Trump will:
1) Be gone
2) Never pay up

You've been conned.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. -G"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 15/01/2026
Joe Rogan compares Trump's ICE to Hitler's Gestapo: 'Is that what we've come to?' www.rawstory.com/ice-gestapo (via www.tumblr.com/landunderthewave/805…)
The Good Place / Jason Figured It Out meme, with text:
JOE ROGAN figured it out?
JOE ROGAN? This is a real low point.
Yeah, this one hurts.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 15/01/2026
Updating The Ten Commandments For Today's Christians (www.instagram.com/reels/DTgJB-YgUlN)
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 15/01/2026
Einmal mit Profis.
Cloudflare Fehlerseite, dass www.register.com nicht angezeigt werden kann, weil der Zielserver kein gültiges SSL spricht
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 14/01/2026
Ludocaine, so to speak #pun
Article headline: 4 Video Games That Help Me Get Through High Pain Days
by Sarah Lee 
Header art is a digital painting of a dark-skinned person sitting on the floor with a cuddle controller in their hands, looking at an out-of-frame screen that casts green light on them. The "camera" is in front of and to the left of their feet, tired upwards, showing their hands larger and their head smaller than usual perspective would suggest.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 10/01/2026
Darth doch nicht wahr sein! #Wortwitz #Shitpost
Darth Vader, nachdem er gesagt bekommt, dass seine Kinder gestorben sind. 
Untertitel: "Nooooooooo!"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 06/01/2026
I sure hope Randell Munroe has acquired a patent on Agentic AI… Zealous Autoconfig xkcd.com/416
xkcd 4 panel comic, showing cueball sitting on a chair with a notebook on his lap. Notebook is "saying": 
>>Starting WIFI autoconfig…
Searching for WIFI…
Found no open networks.

Found secure net "LenhartFamily"<<

>>Trying common passwords… failed.
Checking for WEP Vulnerabilites…<<

Cueball utters: "um…"
Next frame is zoomed out a bit, we see the edge of a table with a phone on it. 
Notebook continues: 
>> Connecting to bluetooth phone…
Calling local school…<<
(Phone lights up)
>>Found Lenhart children.<<

>>Notifying field agents.
Children acquired.
Calling Lenhart parents,
negotiating for WIFI password…<<

Cueball is frantically hitting Ctrl-C repeatedly…
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 05/01/2026
Comic. "There, I fixed it.", Donald Trump says, while, holding a red pen, editing a large text over his head from "NO MORE WARS" to "NO, MORE WARS!"
It's signed "©2025 Slyngstad".
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 01/01/2026
@charleekress it's hard to single out any event though, so much has happened this year... Image taken from www.aljazeera.com/gallery/2025/12/1…
A man empties a bucket of muddy water into the flooded streets of a tent city. He is wearing a pullover, short trousers and sandals. In the background you can see a child with a bucket, wearing a turquoise ski jacket, and a smaller child wading through the water with rolled up trouser legs
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 24/12/2025
@VeroniqueB99 When you accidentally ask Satan for a dog and he delivers…
Painting "The Favorite" by Omar Rayyan, 2010.
A young girl in a white dress is holding a being in her hands that's almost her size and looks like a small buffalo, but hairless and has a a dinosaur-like tail, a predator's teeth, large horns, four or five "fingers" with long claws on the front legs, and hooves on its hind legs. The girl has a red flower in her hair, and the being has one attached to its left horn.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 15/12/2025
Sei-Bär-Montag #Shitpost
Produktfoto für ein Bären-Maskottchen-Kostüm. Es ist milchkaffeebraun, hat einen rundlichen Kopf mit zeichentrickartigem Gesicht und einen weißen Bauch
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 29/11/2025
Quick, let's get him to the Mayo Clinic!
A class plastic bottle of Classic Caesar dressing on a wooden outdoor table, with a knife sticking out of its backside, and dressing dripping down
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 19/11/2025
A product recall because of Cesium? So basically, a ceasium and desistium? xkcd.com/3152
xkcd 3152: three panels of Megan and Cueball talking.
Megan (looking at her phone): There's a recall of frozen shrimp contaminated with Cesium-137.
Cueball: With what?
Megan: I know, right?
Cueball: How?

Megan: No idea, but I bet it involved some expensive equipment. Those cesium sources aren't cheap.
Cueball: Man.

Megan: It's honestlt a little inspiring to realize that it's always possible to screw up in a totally new way.
Cueball: Yeah, the biggest agency whose attention I've drawn by messing up is the local fire department.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 19/11/2025
Two stillframes of Disney's Robin Hood (1973):
Top: Robin Hood (fox) and Little John (bear) in dresses in the forest, Robin is adjusting Little John's fake breasts. 
Bottom: Price John (lion) sitting on the throne, wearing the crown and sucking his thumb. Sir Hiss (snake) is looking at him. 
Text overlay says: "Some of us were raised by Drag performers fighting false kings and it shows🤷"
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 11/11/2025
[Wortwitz Shitpost] Pay as you Klo
Toilette mit Bezahlschranke, möglicherweise an einer Autobahnraststätte oder ähnlichem
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 10/11/2025
[Wortwitz, Blasphemie, Blut] Kronische Schmerzen
Bild "Christus mit der Dornenkrone", zugeschrieben Rueland Frueauf d. Ä.:
Portrait eines fahlen Jesus mit langen, brauchen Haaren und rotem Kragen, einem zum Kranz geflochtenen Zweig mit langen Dornen auf der Stirn, von der an vielen Stellen Blut runter läuft
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 09/11/2025
Q: What do you call the Beauty (of Beauty and the Beast) when she is wearing a strap-on? A: Pecker'd Belle
Logo and title of Packard Bell:
Red letters PB with a bright highlight in the upper left corner, rotated 45° clockwise and tilted away from the viewer, next to the company name in black and all-lowercase letters
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 05/11/2025
Cool, #KI kann inzwischen sogar sagen, dass es etwas nicht gibt, statt einfach irgendwas zu erfinden. Blöd nur, wenn es dann doch da war.
Screenshot einer Google Suche für "habe immer fett gelebt Toten Hosen".
Übersicht mit KI:
„Die Zeile "habe immer Fett gelebt" gehört nicht zu den bekannten Songtexten der Toten Hosen, sondern ist wahrscheinlich eine Fehlinterpretation oder ein Missverständnis eines anderen Songs
. Die Redewendung "tote Hose" bedeutet "ereignislos" oder "langweilig" und wurde als Name für die Düsseldorfer Band verwendet. 

    Die Redewendung "Tote Hose" bezieht sich ursprünglich auf Ereignislosigkeit oder Schwunglosigkeit und wurde nach der Band benannt.”[sic]

Erstes Suchergebnis:
„Die Toten Hosen (https://www.dth.de)
Warum werde ich nicht satt?

Ich hatte mehr Glück als die meisten, *habe immer fett gelebt*.[Hervorhebung Google] Und wenn ich wirklich etwas wollte, hab' ich's auch gekriegt! Warum werde ich nicht satt? Ich…”
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 05/11/2025
Wie schreibt man Kohllästerin nochmal richtig?
Ausschnitt eines Artikels auf welt.de:
"Zwar umfasste der Text 941 Wörter, doch wirklich wichtig waren davon nur zehn: „Die von Kohl eingeräumten Vorgänge haben der Partei Schaden zugefügt.“ Dieser eine Satz bedeutete politisch ein „All in“ Merkels – die allerdings, soweit bekannt, keine Neigung zum Pokerspiel hat."
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 29/10/2025
www.smbc-comics.com/comic/asteroid
Comic of a scene and an onlooker pointing their finger and shouting: "Oh my God! That asteroid is headed straight for the old cemetery! I hope all the corpses are okay!"
Bottom line: This is what i imagine when people say AI will ruin social media.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 21/10/2025
Tweet by "jomny sun" (verified, @jonnysun):

i hav cat-like reflexes
"prove it"
*looks at a cat*
(instantly) i like that cat
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 21/10/2025
@VeroniqueB99 well, you definitely aren't a pushover... #altText4you The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 11/10/2025
Dieser Euphemismus grenzt IMHO schon an Blasphemie. Nach dem Tod auf einen Spieß gesteckt und an Feuer geröstet zu werden, klingt doch 1:1 nach einer Beschreibung der Hölle, oder?
Häuserfront mit einem Imbissrestaurant, das mit großer, roter Leuchtschrift "Hühnerparadies" wirbt. Es hat große, automatische Schiebetüren, ein breites Fenster, der Rest der Fassade ist mit der Speisekarte/Preisliste tapeziert, die hauptsächlich aus Abbildungen der verschiedenen Speisen besteht
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 09/10/2025
It's time to transition from capitalism to decapitalism… /s
Picture of a guillotine
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 18/09/2025
Facebook post by Steve Gatewood:
Some dudes in the lunch room today were talking about Charlie Kirk and must have noticed me listening and one asked "what do you think of all this Charlie Kirk stuff" and I was like "oh idk I never heard of her" and he said "him" and I said "oh great another liberal obsessed with pronouns" and he said "HAH IM FAR FROM LIBERAL BUDDY" and I said "sure you are go tell it to your furry club" and pointed at the Ohio State buckeyes mascot on his shirt and I'm pretty sure he believed in political violence for a second
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 26/08/2025
Candle with hare, it's made of ceramic
It's ceramic tea candle holder, a cute white rabbit holding the bottom half of a pink easter egg with white dots that houses the candle
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 25/08/2025
[Wortwitz auf ein Sprichwort] "Drum prüfe, wer sich ewig bindet…" …ob nicht Schuhe mit Klettverschluss eine sinnvolle Alternative wären. (Bild schamlos kopiert von medium.com/@prathamshah1182/velcro-… )
Vier Einzelbilder;
Links oben: ein Mann in grauer Anzughose bindet sich braune Budapester Lederschuhe, im Bild sind nur die Schuhe, Hände und ein Teil der Unterschenkel
Rechts oben: ein weißer Sportschuh/Sneaker mit Klettbandverschluss
Links unten: eine Reihe gewebter Schnürsenkel in unterschiedlichen Farben, auf jedem der Text "SHOELACES" (mit Anführungszeichen)
Rechts unten: Ausschnitt eines Streifen Klettband, auf einer Seite verbunden, die andere auseinandergezogen
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 08/08/2025
Face-Shuttle : )
screenshot of a browser window showing a video of a Space Shuttle taking off, cropped and rotated so the nose points down, which shows that the cockpit windows and two windows near the bay doors form a black smiley face on its white body
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punIssuer @punissuer.universeodon.com.ap.brid.gy · 14/07/2025
m.xkcd.com/3099 (Butterfly meme) Is this capitalism?
Drawing showing the pipes of a house's heat pump, that go from the box underground and into the neighboring house's walls. 
Text: 
A covertly-installed neighbor-source hear pump takes advantage of the fact that your neighbor keeps their house cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
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