iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

When you express concerns about problematic behaviors, you’re not “focusing on the negative.” You’re exercising discernment and protecting yourself.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

Coexisting peacefully with uncertainty looks like staying fluid, releasing outcomes, caring for your nervous system, and surrounding yourself with emotionally mature, supportive people. It's ok not to know what's next.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 26/06/2025

You don’t owe anyone unlimited access to your life

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

People are allowed to have feelings about your boundaries. Those feelings aren’t your responsibility to fix.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

Clear boundaries communicated with respect aren't weapons. They’re kindnesses.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

In my very lengthy therapy journey, there’s a single question that absolutely changed my life, and that is this: What if the problem isn’t me?

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

Your nervous system's requirements are valid, and honoring them isn't selfish—it's necessary for your wellbeing

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

Needing alone time isn't “antisocial.” It's honoring your nervous system's needs for rest and restoration.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

Things that brought me joy this week

Image of a light-colored squirrel perched low on an old tree

Image of turtles basking in the sun on partially submerged logs

Image of an egret drying its wings on a partially submerged log

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

You don’t have to justify or explain your boundaries. A simple “this doesn’t work for me” is enough.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

Acknowledging your successes isn't arrogance. You can be genuinely humble and kind and generous while still fully owning what you've accomplished and what you're good at.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

Emotional caretakers tend to attract friends and partners who need (and often demand) caretaking

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

Embracing your actual needs (not just the ones you think are easy to meet) is an act of profound self-love. When you name them clearly and unapologetically, you give others the sacred opportunity to love you well.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

Quintessential Rhode Island photo ☕️🌊

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

Happy Monday! Gentle reminder that hustle culture is a crock of shit ❤️

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 01/06/2025

Happy sunny Sunday, Bluesky ❤️

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 01/06/2025

If you grew up with emotionally immature caregivers, you were likely taught that having boundaries was selfish or dangerous. Your nervous system is wired to associate limit-setting with anxiety and guilt.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

You can love your family deeply while still saying “no” to harmful dynamics

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

You don't need to burn yourself out to prove your commitment. You don't need to sacrifice your wellbeing for the illusion of productivity.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

Clap for me—I left my house (after dark, no less) and made new friends tonight 😭💕

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

You don't have to participate in every conflict you're invited to

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

The healthiest relationships aren't those without boundaries—they're those where boundaries are communicated clearly, respected consistently, and adjusted as needed through open dialogue

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

When we’re focused on managing other people’s emotions, we disconnect from our own

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

Ways I can care for myself today: allow myself to cry if that's what I need, remind myself that it's ok to be afraid of change, allow for imperfection, and create space for time in nature.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 23/05/2025

The idea that “families don’t keep secrets” and therefore anything you share with each other is fair game for family gossip erodes trust and psychological safety within the family

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 23/05/2025

Ways I can care for myself today: attend mindfully to my houseplants, keep something soft with me at my desk, give myself a few extra minutes for transitions, prioritize meals and hydration

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 22/05/2025

Listen, if I have to purchase heating oil in MAY, I just might lose it

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 21/05/2025

As a former professional B2B writer often hired specifically for my ability to clearly articulate things that other people inexplicably could not, I feel strongly that the notion that autistic people write like AI writes is silly. AI writes like autistic people do.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 21/05/2025

In case you need this today: You don't need to have all the answers. You don't need to be the expert on everything.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 20/05/2025

Believe it or not, simply being a parent doesn’t give anyone the right to harass and shame their adult child over their decisions. Adults make their own choices. Their parents are allowed to disagree with them, but they are not allowed to psychologically abuse their adult children over them.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 19/05/2025

Over-functioning for someone else enables under-functioning on their part. It teaches them to rely on you rather than developing their own problem-solving and emotional regulation skills

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 19/05/2025

Had the beach all to myself this morning 🌊❤️

Photo of entry point to a beach - a pathway through the sand is lined by an orange fence. Waves are visible on the other side of a hill.

Photo of ocean waves, shot from just near the water line. The sky is blue and the beach is rocky

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 18/05/2025

I have never gone and will never go to a high school reunion. You couldn’t pay me enough to relive even one minute of adolescence

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 17/05/2025

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS IS A REAL THING

Screenshot of website for an upcoming production of Waiting for Godot with Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 17/05/2025

My autistic, chronic-spine-and-hip-pain self is very good at tolerating the drive to New Haven, the train to Grand Central, the subway to Brooklyn, two hours in a very loud arena, and all of the chaos getting back to Grand Central. But holy hell that last MTA trip back to New Haven just murders me

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 17/05/2025

Related: Being able to day-trip to Brooklyn for a New York Liberty game never gets old 🏀🗽🐘

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 17/05/2025

Rhode Islanders, when we say that we’re going into “the city,” are we talking about Boston or NYC?

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

Saying “I don't know” isn't a sign of incompetence—it's a sign of authenticity and integrity

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

You might be abandoning yourself in your relationships if: * You say "yes" when you want to say "no" * You dismiss your feelings as "too sensitive" * You don't trust your own judgment * You mold your opinions to match others' * Your body is sending distress signals * You feel persistent resentment

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 16/05/2025

Instead of focusing on changing the minds and hearts of people who aren't interest in changing, focus on staying grounded in your truth and maintaining your own emotional balance

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 15/05/2025

You can’t reason with someone who’s not open to reason

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 15/05/2025

I shall not be defeated by yet another rainy day, as I am made of pluck and vim and tenacity

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 14/05/2025

Think about that time I was “quiet fired” for explaining to a CEO, clearly and kindly—during Mental Health Awareness Month, after being invited to do so—what she could personally do to better support the mental health of her employees...

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 14/05/2025

Accepting what you can't control in your relationships is the first step towards reclaiming your peace and building deep connections that are truly aligned with your needs and values

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

I have begrudgingly fired up the boiler again. Not cool, New England. Not cool.

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

Them: “This boundary makes me feel like you don’t love me anymore.” You: “I’m actually setting this boundary BECAUSE I love you and I want to make sure our relationship is safe and healthy for both of us.”

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

I was trying to type "lightbulb" and typed "lightblub" at least 3 times, which feels like a bad omen for focus today

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

Ways that I can care for myself on a busy day: stay in soft pants, prioritize my meditation practice, fully inhabit every pause, keep a full glass of water on my desk, place a few grab-and-go snack options in the front of the fridge

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Kelly Judd @psychodynamiccoach.bsky.social · 08/05/2025

Taking your time to respond to a request isn't “being difficult”—it's honoring a valid need for reflection

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