iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

Officials advise against attempting to don Thor's Helmet. Unless, of course, they are worthy.

Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

An ancient, still functional relic known as “The Last Blockbuster” has been discovered. Upon unsealing, emaciated staff began demanding late fees. It has now been resealed. “We realised too late that we completely forgot to return a VHS. We’ll try again in a few decades, hopefully they forget.”

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

After several decades, SNAP recipients still awaiting order to eat perfectly balanced food. Several recipients note: "I'm sore, I'm tired, and really really hungry."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

Citizens with arachnophobia advised to steer clear of Spider Nebula.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

Citizen posts picture of award winning massive blueberries. Five foot, eleven inch regular, non-modified human wrists aged to precisely forty-seven point six years beside them for scale. Fingers not to scale.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Recommendation: All Citizens avoid contact with Snapdragons. Side effects of contact include eternal damnation and an upset stomach.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Officials recommend all Citizens avoid travelling near the "Black hole jet". Several casualties have already been reported. Military studies ongoing on how to best weaponize this anomaly. Suggest so far including luring the enemy towards it through promises of snacks.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Former country spotted inside storm on Saturn. Rescue efforts still ongoing.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

New compulsory blood donor campaign is launched. Armed government officials will bring every Citizen to the clinics for mandatory blood extraction. Refusal is not an option. New donor campaign slogan also revealed: “Don’t give because you care, give because you’re afraid not to.”

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

Officials denounce comments on being referred to as a "bullshit machine". Scientists confirm that they are so much more than just machines.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

"Half-tree, half-person" dedicated in resident's living room.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

New trend discovered! Walking on the stars.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

Robots set up various traps in owner's vacant house after suspecting that they're being robbed. The owners are simply home early and are unable to get close enough to turn off its "Home Alone" system without being hit by swinging buckets of paint and BB guns.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

Procrastinators Anonymous declare next meeting to be: "probably next week some time, I dunno I'm not too sure yet. There's just so much going on, I really don't have time right now, you know? I have at least six more seasons of [Popular TV Show] to catch up on."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

Officials advise caution when travelling in and around the Flame Nebula. Fire crews are on scene, but attempts to keep the blaze under control have been less than successful.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Confirmation: Universe having identity crisis. Officials recommend avoiding contact until the Universe figures itself out.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Citizen cloning himself in attempt to avoid responsibilities is now inundated with clones lazing around his house. "Each one just keeps cloning another one. Nobody wants to do anything. God maybe I really am just that horribly lazy. I'm going to do the dishes to get my mind off things."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

Amusement park SatanLand opens its doors. Stan, the large, red, horned CEO, promises it'll be a "Hell of a good time" and customers will "just be dying to come back.” and “I'm hellbent on making this the Beast experience or my name isn't Sata-- Stan. My name’s Stan."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Confirmation: Possible fresh water source detected in new solar system. Nestle CEO issues statement: "you better believe we'll be there."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Officials confirm Hallmark movie with a new plot set to come out "sometime in the next several decades. Maybe next century. We'll see. Don't hold your breath."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Scientists test the popular myth "Two heads are better than one" by attaching two heads together. Conclusion: "No, no it's definitely not better. There's an awful lot more screaming. Like, endless amounts of screaming. Next steps will be to see how they are when attached to a body."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Scientists issued statement recommending not staring in to the Cat's Eye for prolonged periods of time. Unreported claims of the Cat's Eye staring back are cause for concern.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Officials welcome our "Space News" overlords.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Officials insist that while Io may have the appearance it is still NOT CHEESE and to cease attempts at consuming it.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Officials issue reminder for ALL CITIZENS to STOP LICKING THE TEMPORAL ANOMALY. Scientists have confirmed that this is a terrible idea and will result in changes to the timeline. The anomaly may take on the appearance of ice cream, cookies, a lollipop, or a tootsie roll.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

Scientist Officials confirm: It's pretty gosh-darn big.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

Prince of Mars Royal family sends out dozens of electronic messages a day, attempting to find a recipient for his enormous wealth. "Nobody replies to my messages, I don't get it. They just need to send a small advance fee and I can get rid of all this burdensome money!"

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

Automatic rocket launches from Earth with emergency supplies for starving Mars colony, to crash-land in a safezone for quick distribution. Warehouse workers note that the emergency supplies were still in the warehouse, however stockpile of nuclear explosives intended for Pluto mining were missing.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

Officials advise against travelling to the following years: 2020-2021 2024-2025 Officials warn anyone travelling to the above years may have the following symptoms: Nausea Paranoia Regret

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

Engines on Enceladus believed to once again be active. Attempts to escape will not be tolerated. Apprehension team enroute to return Enceladus to it's proper orbit. More at 11.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

Flat-earthers officially change name to "Flat-systemers" in recent press release. "I mean, we were wrong about the Earth, sure, but we KNOW we're right about the solar system being flat. Evidence? 'Course we have evidence! We know it's flat because of the way it is. What more proof do you need?"

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 30/11/2024

Outbreak of deadly virus on Mars has infected thousands of citizens. Officials warn that this "Dad Virus" causes infected to communicate in dad jokes. "Hi infected, I'm dad" is now the most common greeting. Security Officials on Mars note "don't trust atoms, they make up everything!"

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Officials name January 19, 2025 "Day of Armageddon Avoidance". Asteroid confirmed destroyed by famous actors trained to be oil drillers trained to be astronauts. Confirmed Casualties: 1

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Officials advise against exploration in to Eldritch knowledge. May result in loss of sanity, visual impairment by way of possession, and being able to communicate in a long dead forbidden language.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Baked potato Moon-President unable to hold parliament together. Moon Nation collapses in to several break away states including: - The People’s Republic of Luna - Kingdom of Selene - The Democratic Republic of the Moon - Luna Sultanate - Moon Federation - State of Selene - The Great Lunar Duchy

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Receipt confirmed: 1 Space picture of ████

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

Officials issue follow-up statement: "Delicious."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

Citizen time traveler appeared in Mars city street. They stated "Uh oh, they sent me too far, way before the time of the Big Cheese. The Great Robot Holy War hasn't even happened yet. Whew, you guys are in for a doozy with that one; wouldn't wanna be you soon." They then promptly vanished.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

Upcoming Mixed Martial Arts contest pits two legendary fighters against each other. Catch Dylan 'One Kick Man' Harper VS Stanley 'Only Weakness Is Being Kicked' Graham match on the next Fight Evening! Analysts concluded this fight is likely to be "decisive."

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

Officials confirm that while it may seem confusing, it is important to note we are, indeed, not ChatGPT. Moreover, a comprehensive delve may be required.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Officials confirm that life on other planets is █████████

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

Officials recommend avoiding direct eye-contact with this anomaly. Failure to do so may result in ȩ̷̜͍͘l̵͔͇̜̓̃̈ͅd̵̨̻͆̈́r̵̝̭̯̍̾̆i̷̪̼͒̆̔t̴͚̻̗̘̋c̴̝̠̈́̚͜ĥ̵͖͉̕ ̸̙̪̣͝h̷̦̾ā̸̡̢͇̀̅ẑ̴̩̞͇̜̓͛́à̵͍͙̬̯r̸̠͈̈́̋̐̚d̶̤̂̓͂š̵ͅ ̶̡̙͎̱͗b̷͕͌ē̷̛̠ý̸̩̦̾̋o̵͍̱̝͇̔̈n̶̛͔̩̊͌́d̷͎̬͇̯̊̒̒ ̷̫͈͉̭̾̈̏o̸̫̍ų̸̤̋̀̿r̷͈̜̒̀͗̍ ̷̩͕̮̓́̀̓c̶̘̱̝̍͘͝o̵̺̦͒̅̉͝m̵̺͙̔p̶̺̐́̊r̴̯̈́̑̊̚e̵̥̜̯͌̈̚h̴̠͓͘͜ȇ̴̳n̸̛͎̎̈̃s̴̞̖̀ỉ̵͙͝ȯ̸̘̳̜̈͌n̵̘̾̆̈͠

020

Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

Officials have announced a brand new program for first time home buyers! Four-generation mortgages have begun. “I was starting to get worried that my children’s children’s children wouldn’t be able to afford a home. Now I just need to figure out my fertility issues, first problem: still single.”

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

Andromeda galaxy confirmed freed after being held captive by the Hubble Space Telescope for several decades. Andromedins celebrate by building another, much larger telescope.

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Posts from the Future @postsfromthefuture.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

Portal gun is created by Scientists; first tests are inconclusive. "Scientist Jimmy shot a portal below himself, then one directly above. We throw food into the terminal velocity loop to make sure he's okay; still working on getting him out. Sadly, he dropped the gun inside. It’s the only one."

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