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Elyza Halpern

@possumgirl.bsky.social
35 followers 17 following 8 posts
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Reposted by Elyza Halpern
joos @bratcave.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
Male comedians are much more inclined to do this weird thing where they point out that someone in the audience isn’t laughing or smiling and it’s so bizarre because you are only highlighting your own inadequacy as an entertainer??
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 11/12/2024
Wrote this one
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
Listen I’m not saying we need to bring assassination back but I WOULD like Kaiser to be a little nervous when they start playing games this enrollment period
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
An “LA Free Solo” is when you drive without Waze
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
The Wicked movie coming out reminds me of the time in middle school when my friend’s *very Republican* mom was talking about how the show was “such a good social commentary” and i really want to send her a message that’s like “fyi you voted for the Wizard” but I also don’t want to get shot
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
Tr*mp def thinks Dr. Oz is like, the Wizard of
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 21/11/2024
Making RFK Jr. the head of the Health Department is like making the football coach who thinks girls pee and get their period out of the same hole the health teacher at a high school..oh wait, this tracks America.
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
How did you all explain to older family members who Jake Paul was yesterday?
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Elyza Halpern @possumgirl.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
What is this?
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