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PolterDF ⚙️

@polterdf.bsky.social
32 followers 28 following 48 posts
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
ones. But then I read this and wonder what the actual fuck I was thinking to be responsible for someone while also acting like this instead of saying "Hey maybe don't do this for your own well being."
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I can def see this, yeah. I'm sorry for this behavior. That was one of the times I should have realized what the fuck I was actually doing. This def strengthens the sick feeling in my stomach :/ I was such an embarrassing excuse of a partner jfc. Cuz again, I had feelings for the victim. genuine
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
used for art which is something I shared opinions with since it's something we have seen before. I don't like people using contacts for art only. But I won't be surprised if I suggested it frequently.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I'm sorry for making it sound like I was urgently asking for it, but I'm dead serious when I said I cared. If I could prove it, I would. I don't remember actively asking for art cuz I remember the Victim speaking about the concerns of being
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Just a little too late for that tho. I should have acted sooner and snapped out of what I did. I don't know what held me back, because obviously, I should have owned up to what I did way sooner. I think I was scared of reality. This is in no way an excuse for my behavior tho.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
though situations and stop being the pathetic person I am. I would have been happy without the whole sexual bs, especially since it's something I started growing more unwell with by the end. Cuz I started to realize that my sa trauma had influenced me.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Yeah, I shouldn't be wishing for this and I hope to grow out of this wishing soon. But if I could, I would apologize for all I've done to the victim, and stopped the whole thing a lot sooner to show that I genuinely cared and express it by being able to stand up and being the person to help in
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
It doesn't, ik. And yeah, as much as I wish for it to be possible, I know it'll never happen. I accepted that for a while.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Sorry my bad. I mistook you for someone else cuz my head a still a bit mixed up today
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
a partner simply for having M exposed to some bad people in the past. Back then I didn't understand it correctly and just got mad, but now I started to agree with this statement, especially since I also got M in danger with my behavior
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
13 I believe cuz I don't think we interacted that much 2018. And you're missing the point on what I'm trying to say. I would fix my mistakes if I could and be someone to actually look after it and speak up if someone was being a dick to M. Reminds me how an ex-friend of mine said I already failed as
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I didn't intent on making it sound that way. I think when you reached out to me and said that M never wants to talk with me ever again, something finally clicked in my head and the dreams of the victim and I talking stopped for a bit
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I think the dreams stopped ever since you reached out to me after my break. Except for once. But before that, it started off with daily dreams, then weekly. It was mainly us talking about our interests and life updates.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
It made me happy and yes I'd do anything and I mean anything to go back in time to change my mistakes. But I acknowledge that it's simply not possible, and now I'm suffering the heart ache that's entirely on me. Because of the things I've done.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I also apologize if I made myself sound like a victim. I wanna make it clear that I'll take responsibility for all I've done and seek professional help as soon as possible.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
And I already stated my side on the cheating part, that I didn't mean what I said. But I won't continue repeating it if you really don't believe my point of view. My brain is also a big puzzle to me sometimes, tho my adhd meds started helping.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I wrote all this from how I remember/ how I saw it. You have my word on that. But I fully understand the situation on the other perspective and acknowledge how hurt M must feel. I'm really sorry for the hurt I have caused.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Cuz this sickens me. I gen don't remember this but I'm trusting your word cuz I forgot some things I've done in general and how serious this whole thing is to me. I'm just trying to explain my perspective cuz this gen doesn't sound like me, I'm sorry.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Cuz of how much I missed it. I hated the feeling of waking up to the reality of never being able to have small talks anymore. I also forgot about the art suggestion part, thank you for reminding me. /gen.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I did way too many fuck ups, explaining how important the small moments with M were to me would sound like nothing. I couldn't have been happier even. I just wish I realized my mistakes sooner and apologized immediately. I had daily nightmares of just having small talks with M
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I'm sorry if it felt that way but I can guarantee that it wasn't this way. The victim's age played no fucking role in any of this. I was mainly dependent on M cuz of me seeking a purpose in life to keep going which wasn't correct of me. I gen cared about M and I wish I could have shown it better
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Anyways, stay safe. And don't be like me. Look after one another. If I don't respond here or on discord the next days, I might be unreachable for good.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I turned interactions off cuz ik most comments will mostly be "This is disgusting" or "This doesn't excuse this". Which is stuff I am very aware of and agree with. Which i can't really see rn cuz I'm in an incredibly critical headspace and trying to not do something stupid.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
can't really be proven. I have promised to not contact M anymore in any way possible. I take full responsibility for all my actions I understand if you don't want to interact with me anymore in the slightest because of me being a past groomer. So feel free to unfollow.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I'm just terrified of going into a relationship atm. I don't trust myself with one. I just want to make it clear that I'm incredibly ashamed and disgusted with my past behavior. I'm deeply sorry for what I've done. I can assure that this is no longer me, but I know it's something that
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
1. Cuz I still care about M a lot and feel like I'd betray us both if I started something with another person. And 2. Cuz I was afraid of hurting someone as much as I hurt M. It got so bad at one point where I grew incredibly paranoid and started hurting myself. But so far it only happened once.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I've been taking a 6 month break from socials to reflect and think how I'll approach things from now on. Ever since the break was over, I was constantly scared that I'd run into someone who'd want to hit up on me, because I was incredibly scared of going into a new relationship.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
interacting with me if I made characters that were either of opposite sex, unattractive or minors. But these thoughts are my fault alone and very likely formed our of insecurity. But I still take full responsibility for what I did and continuing this. M was just busy most of the time with school.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
For some time, I even believed that I needed to make my OCs attractive cuz I was seeking the validation from M. Something to have it continue being interested in me. It was mainly a process I developed because of M always showing interest for any of my male characters. I thought it would stop
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
never showing the ability that I could change that that I care about it for who it is. I was never able to fight for it, especially when an ex-friend of my said "Fuck M". I even made it feel cheated on for using a romantic term on someone without romantic intention which was incredibly stupid of me
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
But things obviously kept going. It still disgusts me to this day that I kept it up for this long, because the only reason I was in a relationship with M was because I gen cared about it. In the end I made it feel like I was only after it for all this rp bullshit. I failed M as a partner for never
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
time, I would be there in M's dms to help it, even when it was late at night, making sure it's okay was my top priority. I talked with M about the whole sexuality thing again as well. I started to suspect that my sa trauma had a play in this, which still is no excuse. I don't remember what it said
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
M asked if I was interested in a relationship. I already had a bit of a crush on M since I was 16, so ofc I'd say yes. For further context. The reason why we grew so close to begin with is cuz we often had each other to vent. If I had a problem, M would be there to comfort me. And if M had a rough
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I immediately believed this would be the case. Idk what I was thinking I'm so fucking ashamed of this. So we kept going, despite my constant concern. I kept telling myself that it would be okay cuz M said so but I should have known better as the older one. Eventually once I was 18 and M was 15,
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
this kept going, until we got too far. Ofc none of us were aware what we did was incredibly wrong, especially I as the older one should have stopped this asap. Some months before my 18th birthday, I spoke out about my concern how we can't continue this once I turn 18. M assure me it will be fine and
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I was 17 at the time and M was 14. We already made started with some mature jokes. I don't remember who started it, but that doesn't make me any less guilty for participating. And not too long after, we started to explore in the more suggestive territory. This started off as a joke but unfortunately
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
M and I started off as good friends. We met on a roblox group I was working for. We shared interest and talked about OCs. We eventually grew close friends through murder mystery style discord rp. We talked about our OCs and soon made our own little discord server for rp. It was practically a hobby.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Just for the sake of not name dropping, I will randomly use the letter M and use it/ its pronouns.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I apologize in advance if my english is a bit weird in here. I'm still very shaken up by the whole thing getting out.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I just wanna come clear about this, because I don't think I'll be feeling better if I don't talk about it I groomed someone 3 years younger than me. I want to explain how this happened and what this did to me mentally recently. If you're uncomfortable with this topic, please skip and unfollow asap
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ezra @esezraaa.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
one name #OcArt
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The Colony - #TheColonySMP🛸 @thecolonysmp.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
. . . soon . .
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The Colony - #TheColonySMP🛸 @thecolonysmp.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Hello! Today we extend an offer to be apart of The Colony residents! Player applications will be open from now on for a limited time. Please click the link in the replies to apply. More updates soon...
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Lil Minecraft project I'll be helping my friend @wormssoup.bsky.social with. Really excited for this one 💥
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
Idk if anyone following me still posts art on twt. I just saw a yt short about the latest update that allows people to edit your images with ai which I hope backfires big times But from what they suggested, it's highly recommended to post your art as a still gif. Stay safe out there twt artists 🙏
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
Gonna try being more active here again yippee. But this silly art trend with my sona some weeks ago.
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ezra @esezraaa.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
jesterrr #TheAmazingDigitalCircus #tadc #pomni #fanart
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
Tbf I had a couple of rp accounts but I'm gen too lazy to figure out what the login was. I think I forgot to write them down. I won't be surprised if these accounts get hacked lowkey.
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PolterDF ⚙️ @polterdf.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
Not entirely back since am still getting used to using social media again. But I've come to realize how ass it is out there without Twitter. I wanted to participate in something but they fr said "Erm.. please login with twt so we know you're no bot" ...Well about that, I might have deleted my twt 🤡
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leviine_ [COMMS CLOSED] @leviine.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
Sniffy says that even scary looking Sniffs deserve to be loved!💕💗💕 ( #sniffersaturday #SIGNALIS #signalisfanart #STCR #doodle)
On the left side of the canvas is a game-accurate corrupted storch with an arrow pointing to her saying “if you don’t love me at my” 

On the right side is a plushie corrupted storch with an arrow pointing to her saying “then you don’t deserve me at my”
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