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Les

@phreadishere.bsky.social
11K followers 22K following 348 posts

Ideator, Dev, Tester, Implementer, Marketer, you get it. Laravel, Tailwindcss, Livewire, Flux, + Spatie. Father of 2 GREAT boys and g-father of 1. Learning how to thrive. Alzheimer's Caregiver. 💙

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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
CareGiver-118 For whatever reason, some of the men's labido increases in Memory Care. The Aides should all know this and keep them in check. I do NOT want Mom to be having sex with any of the Residents. She is not aware of what she is always doing, and I feel as if she would be taken advantage of.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
CareGiver-117 I keep needing to remind myself that I cannot always believe what the Residents tell me. In their mind their stories are 100% true. While in reality, they could be 100% made up. As long as they are happy, allow them to believe the good stories.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
CareGiver-116 I try to go during the meal time at Memory Care. This way I can go around to all of the tables and say hello to each of them. Joke with them, make them smile. Allow them to have a few moments of bliss even tho some will not remember it later. Just a few moments of bliss.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
CareGiver-115 As expected, Mom is slowly slipping away. Sometimes faster than others, sometimes so imperceptibly slow I can barely notice. And so are all of the others in the Memory Care Facility. Sad to see everybody there slipping away. It is very diff to see Mom and them leave our world.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
CareGiver-114 I always thought of Hospice as end of life care. It can be, but not always. In Mom's case, it is extra TLC that Memory Care can't always give. They instead of 911 will be called going forward, they will ensure that Mom is showered & pampered. And it is free, including bed & wheelchair.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
The problem that the school had with this is that he took it apart, but did not turn it over to the teacher(s). Nor did he tell the teachers about the gun. He hid the gun. It still sucks they expelled him. It should have been a teaching moment for him and the students.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
CareGiver-113 Mom asked me yesterday if Dad was dead. Stupid me said yes, then she asked how long, I said 4 years. She may not remember my answers or even her questions. I should have said that he was at work and was going to be working late tonight. Tell them positives, not negatives. Sighhhh
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
CareGiver-112 I am finally starting to be able to sleep all night and not wake up worrying about what Mom is doing this time. She is safe and being taken care of at Memory Care. They are GREAT!! She has declined, which is what I had been told to expect. Still sad.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
CareGiver-111 Soon I will be back at my home and I will need to create a new life there. Visit family, new friends, new routines, new restaurants/malls/everything. And I will be done being the CareGiver of Mom and CareDriver of one of the other friend. I will have spare time. What will I do ?
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
CareGiver-110 It was a very long road to sell the house: mom left the water running in the master bathroom, overflowed thru the main floor hallway, and a little thru the hardwood floor into the basement. Abatement went well, gave money to the buyers for them to complete the repairs. So so close....
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 10/05/2025
CareGiver-109 Closed on Mom's house yesterday. Making final plans for Memory Care: final interview from Memory Care's nurse of me and Mom, selection of a move-in date, order her new furniture & stuff, purchase airline tickets, cancel utilities here & setup in Denver. So close to the finish line...
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
CareGiver-108 She is not willing to take a shower when the Aide is here. She will pace and then get real defensive. I will need to ensure that she takes one tomorrow night. It will be great to have the Memory Care Facility take care of this. I can see the finish line for Memory Care. Breathe.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
CareGIver-107 She is hallucinating more as time progresses. She believes the preschool needs her and will be over any minute. She has been retired for over 20 years & nobody is coming over. Memory Care can not come soon enough.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
CareGiver-106 Received the NY Birth Certificate in 3 days! Holy cow!!! Successfully applied for Real ID today, expected in 2 weeks. One step closer to moving back home (Thornton) and mom into Memory Care. Mom's mental capacity is diminishing quickly, sadly.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
CareGiver-105 Found the marriage certificate, just need the birth certificate. Closer. Sooooo much closer. Oh yeah, sold the house and then it flooded. In the midst of fixing it. No closing until it is fixed. I can see the finish line. Breathe, breathe, and breathe some more.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
CareGiver-104 Needed to get Mom's license updated to be Real ID approved. Need a birth certificate & marriage certificate if her name was changed. Couldn't find either. Went online for birth cert and they needed the burough & hospital names - Mom & her brother didn't know it. Faked it. Sighh
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
If I were looking to hire you based on your website, I would not spend any further time. IMHO, spruce up the website, make it look amazing GREAT, and then go for it. Show them a WOWWW. Run your resume thru chatgpt to get it spruced up. All of this is IMHO...
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
I have found so many people that have gone or are going thru this excursion. Wayyyyyy more than I ever imagined. All have interesting & terrifying stories to tell. Thank you!
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
CareGiver-103 I wish for a good death. Quick & painless for me & everybody around me. I do not want to put my family/friends thru this with me. And I don't want to go thru this for myself, not knowing reality & putting others on this trip to hell. Good death, quick & painless, please.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
CareGiver-102 Another friend of Mom's friends is breaths away from death.He has dementia, knew it, and just wanted to die.Was upset every day when he woke up that he wasn't dead.He is in a coma now, hopefully his wish will be granted soon.Such a sweet harmless & giving soul.He didn't deserve this.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
CareGiver-101 I now have 2 friends of Moms that are showing Alzheimer's. Their friends were terrified already, this made it worse. None of them have support like Mom did with me. I just happened to have been available and willing to help her thru this. They are screwed.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
CareGiver-100 I never wanted to help Mom take a shower, but I finally had to. She didn't have tp, so she used whatever was nearby. This also means the sheets were a mess. She acted like a little helpless girl when I asked her to please take a shower. She had no idea what to do. Asked how I learned.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
CareGiver-99 Be at peace w/ your decisions. They are the best at the time. Don't yell, they are not themselves. Keep calm, even keel, breathe. They don't know better anymore. Today is the best day of the rest of their life. They will only decline. There are worse things than death. This? Maybe.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
CareGiver-98 We will hopefully close on the sale of Mom's house mid-May, move to my home in Denver, & her to Memory Care nearby. She will have a meltdown, but she is at a point where I need more help that is only available at Memory Care, 24x7 care. I am at peace with this decision. It is best.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
CareGiver-98 Took a break from the world to deal with Mom more. Declining quickly. Didn't necessarily know who I was for 2-3 days, but was very comfortable with me. Had NO idea who my brother was. None. Waterfall due to overflow in her bathroom sink. OMG! Needs a shower BAD. I talked her into one.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
I believe this is the "short" article explaining the arrest. www.alamy.com/a-demonstrat...
alamy.com
A demonstrator is arrested during the anti-Trump protest on the National Mall, Washington, DC, on April 19, 2025. for allegedly assaulting a counter-protester. Besides the national capital, demonstrat...
Download this stock image: A demonstrator is arrested during the anti-Trump protest on the National Mall, Washington, DC, on April 19, 2025. for allegedly assaulting a counter-protester. Besides the n...
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
CareGiver-97 Create a Diary and document everything. The more detail the better. Allows for a look-back and a cover-your-butt (CYB) for those that question your motives/objectives/means/solutions. Not that you should care, but just to be careful. Breathe, breathe, & breathe.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
CareGiver-96 Hallucinations & meltdowns, 2 signs that it may be time for a Care Facility. Mom has both w/ both increasing. For both of our safety, adult-proofing w/ lock at top of front/garage doors to keep her inside, & block the sliding door.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
CareGiver-95 Closer to Mom being in MemoryCare, so close. Meeting w/ Realtor, buy airline tics, rent a car, move to my place in Thornton, sell the house, move Mom to MemoryCare. She is going to be so ticked off at me, but there is no viable choice anymore. Too many meltdowns to deal with.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 04/03/2025
CareGiver-94 Mom's Doc has signed off on her no longer being of sound mind to take care of any financials. I can now make all of the arrangements to move her to my home. Bittersweet is the best word I can think of. And then again, with the US being destroyed, I may be forced to stay with her. :-(
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
OMG!!!!!
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
CareGiver-93 1 night Mom said that she doesn't know where she would be w/o me. I didn't answer her. I thought "You would be dead", but didn't say it. Unfortunately, it is/was the answer to her question. Yeah, she would be dead by now, covered in feces and urine. I have/will keep Mom safe and secure.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
Stories like this are so horribly sad. I have told many people over the years that there are worse things than death. Dementia & Alzheimer's are 2 proofs of my statement.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
CareGiver-92 I wish there was a book that was able to tell us what to expect, what do to, when to do it, how to do it, where to do it.But, each case has it own journey.Kind of like fingerprints, no 2 are the same. Similar maybe.Same: be/stay calm, don't surprise them, be gentle, be kind, & breathe.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
CareGiver-91 Yeah, I have an appt with the Dr to discuss next steps, her recommendations, and what is currently going on. Will be an interesting meeting which I am looking forward to having. Terrifying to have, but I need it for both the Dr and me. I need & want her with me. So close.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
CareGiver-90 Finally figured it out. Was about her weekly hair appt. It only took me 20 subjects before I got it right. And of course, she is all bent at me. I SOOO want to yell at her, but it would do way more harm then good. So, I just shake my head in my head so she doesn't see it. Breatheeee
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
CareGiver-89 Mom is bonkers tonight. She had a great time with the Aide, was sleeping when I got home. Woke up a little bit ago and went off on me because I had no idea what she was trying to ask me. Then asked if I was trying to put her in the looney. I really had no idea what she was getting to.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
#1 at bamboozling, time and time again.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
Looks great! As usual very well thought out and I am looking forward to using the Starter Kits. And thank you for your time to present all of this information to us.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
CareGiver-88 Orig I took the County's investigation as a personal attack. I sat back to think about it & now I take it as validation for what I want to do. The County investigator will clear me of any wrong doing & validate that I am taking great care for her. Validation is great, will be great.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
CareGiver-87 Mom wants 2 go 2 Denver & very possibly stay. I need to see the Dr soon to chat about this & the County's investigation into Mom's safety: physical, mental, financial. I want them to be contacted, to tell them that I want this done soon. I can't make plans until this has been completed.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
CareGiver-86 Just realized. Once I move back to Denver I will no longer be a CareDriver. Mom's lease car will be turned in & I will only have my F-150. My F-150 is a tad too high for people to get in/out of. Well now, my CareDriver days will be done when I move to Denver. That will be good.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
CareGiver-85 I talked to Mom very calmly, asked her to not yell at me, that I am taking care of it. I then told the Aide she could leave & all is good. Sometimes the fit is not there. I told her that the original Aide would be the only 1 & when she is not available I would stay home. Breathe
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
CareGiver-84 Had a new Aide tonight, was a total disaster. Mom had a meltdown and wanted to call the police, the Aide called me to tell me everything, I told her I was on my way & then chatted w/ Mom. I told her I was on the way and to please not call the police. I got home & no police were called.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
CareGiver-83 I have been a CareDriver for a friend & then a 2nd friend. I told the 2nd that I cannot do it on a regular basis. I am #1, Mom is #2, Bonnie is #3, he is #4. Mom is needing a lot more. Until Mom is in Memory Care, my availability is shrinking. Priority #1 needs to taking care of.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
There are worse things than death. It is time that we allow those who are terminal an opportunity to see all of the options. Carefully giving them the options, know that they can always change their mind. Nice to see some people come to their senses.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 21/02/2025
A couple of us talked about this when I started this journey w/ Mom. I decided that they both suck, for their own reasons, and we couldn't decide which we would want if given a choice. We finally decided that we didn't want either. The winner: in our sleep or just collapse. No alzheimer's/cancer.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
CareGiver-82 Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. It is terminal, it robs a piece at a time, they have no control over their actions, they lose inhibitions, their essence slowly disappears. Never know how much they will drop moment to moment. I cannot fathom how bad it feels from their side.
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Les @phreadishere.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
CareGiver-81 Plan B is coming up. Keep Mom w/ me, move to Denver, sell her house, use the funds to hire help as needed, be the sole CareGiver (still). I have no idea how I will be able to do this mentally. This is already taking a toll on me. I don't know how much I have left. Breathe, breathe, sigh
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