swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Did you guys know that you can put an egg in your mouth, but you can't take it out? 110
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 17/07/2026Do you think in england they call it "left of way" 011
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Dating while you're gay has got to be like running the mirror match 120
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 21/12/2025If you're talking to the mole people and you say "I need to go to a higher vantage point" they'd be like what" 140
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 15/10/2025"Made in China" is usually considered a bad thing - that is, of course, unless you're buying an abacus 120
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 13/10/2025Somewhere out there there's a universe where toothpaste tastes like roast chicken and there are people sayin shit like "eww how do you like roast chicken? It tastes like toothpaste" 010
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 30/06/2024what kinda jerk decided to make pride month the second shortest month ? 051
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 10/06/2024got the boys to agree to double the buy in 😏 121
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 20/03/2024The best pooper in the world probably has no idea 110
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 03/03/2024March is like January but for white people 020
swillbo phlaggins @philboswaggins.bsky.social · 01/02/2024That first skeet was my warm up skeet, and everyone knows that the warm up skeet doesn't count. My next skeet will be my first skeet. 030
