iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

The death of Denny Hastert is a sad reminder that there was a time when Republicans shunned pedophiles, not saluted them.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I’m in a room at the La Quinta Inn in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It’s less glamorous than it sounds.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Trump’s ballroom architect resigned after Trump demanded he remove emergency exits and fire safety features and I totally want them to build it now.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Ed Sheeran has apologized for “disappointing” his fans according to the New York Times, but I would think that an Ed Sheeran fan must have a very high threshold for disappointment.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

BREAKING: Ed Sheeran to quit Ed Sheeran tour. “It has recently come to my attention that I’m a terrible person,” Sheeran said in a statement, “and I cannot in good conscience continue to be associated with myself.”

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Mitch McConnell is scheduled to be back in the Senate on Monday. Less publicized are the rumors of his new chief of staff, Jeff Dunham, who will be at his side at all times.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The spate of TikTok ranchers and farmers tearfully complaining how terrible libs are for suggesting they brought this on themselves aren’t as funny as the GoFundMe links to pay for the funerals of anti-mask zealots who died of COVID, but by God they’re close.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Elon Musk is creating an AI-generated movie version of Hamlet with an all-Danish cast to finally put that asshole Branagh in his place.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

“I WENT TO SEE THE ODYSSEY, SO WHY DID CHRISTOPHER NOLAN INCLUDE SPOILERS FOR THE ILIAD, WHICH IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT POEM????? WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!” — Someone on Reddit right now, probably.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

17 American servicemen are now reported dead because of the Iran War. At this rate, we’ll catch up to the number of Iranian schoolgirls killed by January of 2029.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Saw The Odyssey this afternoon. Great movie, but I thought the mid-credits scene teasing the next installment in the Homerverse was a bit much.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

On our recent cross-country drive, The Boy and I went to a dinosaur museum near the Utah-Colorado border. The next day, Sam Neill died. So tomorrow we’re going to Trump Tower.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Lindsay Graham’s memorial service is scheduled for next week. His spine will be interred separately should they be able to find it.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

I had a 20-minute call with Lindsay Graham this morning about foreign policy and he’s doing great.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

70s glam-rock star Gary Glitter has been charged with unlawful sexual intercourse with a girl under 13 and three counts of indecent assault on a girl under 14. In response, Netflix has offered him a 90-minute special.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

This week at the Supreme Court exposed the absolute lunacy of lifetime appointments. By which I mean Nina Totenberg.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

At this rate I expect the fireworks to light the algae on fire.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Trump’s now claiming activist traitors have been planting algae in the reflecting pool. Next he’ll be accusing Antifa of shitting his pants.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

At this point, Donald Trump’s Iran debacle has progressed from him shitting the bed to the worst version of Goldilocks.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Carlos Mencia has been busted for not paying his taxes, an old bit he stole from Redd Foxx.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

New plan: yes, in 2029 we pack the court with four more justices, but I say every single one that’s nominated is a black woman. Then we start hearing about John Roberts having at least one massive and spontaneous nosebleed a day.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

If Anderson Cooper’s reward for sneaking out the back door at 60 Minutes like a coward is that Paramount acquires Warner Bros and puts Bari Weiss in charge of CNN, well, I’m gonna laugh until I get a debilitating cramp.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

Based on the number of times I’ve seen it on a shelf vs the number of times anyone has suggested we play it, which is zero, I’m going to hazard a guess that the game Parcheesi sucks.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

I watched Mortal Kombat II on streaming tonight. Because I don’t like myself very much.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

2085 SAT Test Prep Class: Proctor: Complete this series of named disasters. Hindenburg, Edsel, Jeb!…. Student: Bari. Proctor: Correct.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

Anderson Cooper wants to know if he can call backsies on his “spending more time with my kids” story and go with the “bravely speaking truth to power” thing instead.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

Based on what we know from The Bible, Jesus would heal the sick and the lame, and feed the poor, but he didn’t have a lot of time to listen to their bullshit.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

“Only Trump can go to China.” — an adage used in the future to explain why you sent your dumbest employee to negotiate for the whole company.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

Rapist and pedophile Michael Jackson’s biopic earned $97M on its opening weekend, suggesting that if only Donald Trump had better dance moves and some chart-topping hits, his approval ratings would be over 70 percent.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

You might have thought the psychic they booked would have warned them about a gunman.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Clowns are mime prop comics. Ventriloquists are prop comics that you wish were mimes.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

No, MAGA Catholics aren’t going to desert Trump over his recent posts. Hard-core Catholics have YEARS of practice making excuses for pedophiles.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Michael B. Jordan went to an In-N-Out Burger after the Oscars last night, and if he didn't order a Double-Double his publicist is fucking fired.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

HIDE YOUR DOGS! She’s super-pissed now!!!

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

Hasn’t anyone thought how this will affect poor Corey Lewandowski?

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

It’s true that “Melania” has a worse Metacritic score than “Cats” but it’s also true I’d watch either film immediately if they released a butthole cut.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

I hope Stephen Miller gets fired soon so he can persue his destiny, assuming the role of Riff Raff in a remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

In the future, assuming we still have history books, they will tell that the turning point in this current nightmare was when ICE finally murdered a straight white man, and some Republicans and even Centrist Democrats said, “This has gone too far.”

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 15/01/2026

I’m going to see The Bone Temple this weekend because I support any movie where the porn parody title and the original title are the same. Other movies on that list: In Her Shoes The Nun The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Predators

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

Where are these ICE clowns getting their uniforms? Seriously, in any large group they don’t even match. Garage sales at militia compounds? Left-over Spirit of Halloween stores? Do Bass Pro Shops have an authoritarian cosplay section?

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

I’m writing a remake of Fight Club where everyone obeys the goddamned rules and doesn’t talk about it, so the membership doesn’t grow. Then it’s just a movie about a group of incels beating each other to death in a basement. So it’s a feel-good comedy is what I’m saying.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

Empty-nester End of Holidays Haiku: The children have left Long red hairs haunt our sink drains Holiday spirits

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 17/12/2025

Still working on my screenplay for Muppet The Sun Also Rises. The third act needs work.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

Because of a prior engagement, I’m going to have to DVR the final episode of Ken Burns’s The American Revolution. No spoilers, please.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

2025 has been like an advent calendar where behind every door is loose stool.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

Will Dick Durbin retire NOW if we promise to buy him a feral stray cat? It’ll hate him, scratch and bite him, and he’ll still end up feeding it five times a day because he’ll give in every time it meows. He’ll be in Heaven!

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 10/11/2025

Family Movie Night: WarGames, the terrible tragedy of a nerd who successfully *prevents* a nuclear war and loses his one shot at sex with a super-hot girl from his high school.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 22/10/2025

Do you think if we keep mentioning Tron: Ares on social media, they’ll release Morbius in theaters again?

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 21/10/2025

An early draft of "The Miracle Worker" showcased Annie Sullivan's initial failed attempts to communicate with Helen through a series of painstakingly crafted farts.

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Peter-john Byrnes @peterbyrnes.bsky.social · 16/10/2025

Trump’s health is like his golf score: more strokes than he’d care to admit.

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