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Since Sweetie Petey’s firing of top commanders, I’ve heard that he has hired some old-new faces. He has hired the following: Jack Daniel, Captain Morgan, and Sailor Jerry, with Captain Crunch being an honorable mention (iykyk).

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

Fun fact: I, Pete Kegsbreath’s liver, have not been on hiatus. In fact, I have been working overtime… especially during church “services”. 😉😉😉

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 12/04/2025

I pray to the good god of livers to put me out of my misery….

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 05/04/2025

I wonder if Pete Hegseth’s wife’s liver is single…

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

If someone could have my sweetie Petey sip on water instead of gin, that’d be a hoot!

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

**"Pete Hegseth’s War Plan"** Pete sips his whiskey, leaks his thoughts, Signals the troops with drunken retorts. His liver’s weak, his war plan’s worse— Victory’s doomed, but *what a curse!*

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

Yes, he was in fact drunk at that time. I am his liver. Can confirm.

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

How can you arrest a liver? Arrest the man! I’ll finally get some much needed detox.

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

I don’t think he remembers taking an oath, due to his level of intoxication.

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

Hi. I’m his liver. When I have to process a crap ton of toxins, I’ll try to have him invite you!

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

A poem for my sweetie Petey: Pete Hegseth sips whiskey—leaks *and* lies, His liver sends signals: "MAN OVERBOARD!" it cries. Now Fox News debates if he’s drunk or deep, While his bar tab trends (and his kidneys weep).

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

We have a flight of beer that is ready for the mission!

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

I cannot be blamed for the Whiskey Leaks. I am only his liver. 😒

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

Pete Hegseth’s liver, in dire plight, From endless nights of whiskey’s bite. It’s tired, it’s worn, it’s begging for peace, Hoping the party will finally cease. A detox, a rest, some water to thrive, Before Pete’s liver can barely survive.

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

S.O.S. - Save Our Livers! Our livers are tired, From nights filled with cheer, They’ve processed it all, Now they’re drowning in beer. Time for a cleanse, Some water, and rest, Before they shut down, We need them at their best! SOS!

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Pete Hegseth’s Liver @petehegsethsliver.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

Pls haaaaalp! Petey has not watered me in years. ;’(

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