iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

for many days have i bemoaned the lack of cookies. now, through the blessed labors, the amount of cookies available to me is effectively infinite. to resign yourself to the illusory rest of inaction is to neuter yourself in the spiritual realms

extremely red jordan peterson in the midst of oration

021

Reposted by ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚.

Fucking Every Word @everyword.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

fucking decidua

021

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

"sub tops are pathetic" the unfaltering sunlit decidua of unflattering focal length:

decidua unfaltering and sunlit and unflattered by the focal length used to capture it; it's on a sail boat with water and shore behind. dressed in a black 3/4 sleeve t shirt with hands clasped in front

041

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

money for girls is difficult for me not bc it has a very well executed depiction of endometriosis, difficult on its own but not the end of the world, but because it also depicts her mom taking care of her through it and that's just something i can't begin to deal with

020

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

not back on my bullshit but on some adjacent bullshit that is technically new and refined

I COULD ONLY ACCEPT AFFECTION WITHOUT SHAME IF WE WERE AN ORGANISM UNITED IN ENACTING THE NOBLE GOAL OF GROWING THAT BETTER WORLD THROUGH LOVING AND UNRESTRAINED FIRE.
IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO BE SAFE.
IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO FIND COMFORT.
IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO ENTERTAIN A HALF FORMED IDEAL BELIEVING IT COULD NEVER COME TO PASS.
HUNGER THAT CANNOT BE SATISFIED IS NEITHER PERMISSION TO SETTLE NOR DEFINITE RESIGNATION TO AN ENDLESS HOLLOWING. IT IS THE VOICE OF OUR SOUL REQUESTING THAT WE COMMIT TO GROWING THE THING THAT SUSTAINS; EVERY SMALL HUNGER AND EVERY GREAT YEARNING IS A FRAGMENTED SUBLIMATION OF THIS PURE AND TOTAL REQUEST. HUNGER REFINED IS CERTAINTY OF WHAT MUST COME TO PASS; CLARITY OF PURPOSE CARRIES IMPLICIT AND NECESSARY ACTION. JUST AS LIGHT WILL FIND ITS FASTEST WAY AND EARTH BY NATURE OF HER IMMENSITY CRADLES US IN INEVITABLE CLOSENESS WE WILL KEEP OUR SUSTENANCE IN THE PURPOSE OF BECOMING. TO BE SATISFIED FOR NOW IS NO SATISFACTION AT ALL.

050

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

it got too embarrassing to tell strangers my name is decidua so i've been experimenting and. introducing myself as dess is the first time in a long time i haven't hesitated or stuttered when meeting new ppl. it feels like someone else saying it but they say it pretty well so im pleased w it

140

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

creature of process :: i learned to be calm in the nightmare years. i only unraveled after six years of psychosis, everything after this is the bowstring released. i gather up my telos like yarn and everything is my favorite story now.

dess in a ferry window reflection wearing black longjohn shirt and pink windproof pants and 14 year old boots that still fit so perfect. half our life in these boots sam porter bridges could never

beloved precious motorcycle, orange crotch rocket with cargo box. it is lit just so in a parking lot. i was so hungry and used my sailing money to feed myself after a long long trip before the long long trip home. the last ferry back is like an odd dream. everyone has an aura of "they don't know i'm holding hands with my mortality" but we all are. isolated and drunk with the noir of being, forgetting how to be lonely but all on the same ship in the long reach.

160

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

ive kept at it: ive brought the walls up : you don't have to look inside to know the flora's growing: you can't see inside without killing it: what it does is evidence enough : don't keep a thing that isn't secret, don't name a thing that needs no naming: what it does is evidence enough:

040

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

for six years i was housebound and laid low with agoraphobia and illness. i promised myself that if i ever got out of it i would live so deliberately the sun couldn't rival my brightness. i'm finally doing it and ive never known a peace like this

130

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

life gets really weird and exciting when you press the right buttons for no reason

080

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

HOW TO KILL A FAE: 5ht2 antagonism; 5ht1a agonism; D2 blockade; acetylcholine stimulation;

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

remember when i was gonna inject a bunch of research chemicals to cure ehlers danlos syndrome but then learned im a carrier for every brca mutation imaginable? and then kept smoking cigarettes?

000

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

seattle is pretty. i earn lunch money by delivering food on my motorcycle. i don't have a place to live just yet. the people tell me "you are living death stranding". they are right, i am very lonely but the world and all her humans are beautiful.

pixel art mirror selfie censored face, a clock to my right and my helmet hanging from a door on the left.

sunset overlooking capitol hill . i had a long delivery that paid well and ended here; i typically avoid this part of town, but i don't want there to be anything in this city i'm not ready to be immersed in

yoga yoga yoga pigeon pose saves my life twice a day and i never realized that i look downright egregious while doing it until i caught my reflection and promptly closed the blinds . after taking a photo. my motorcycle is on the other side of the window

040

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

getting dragged across the country, constantly threatened with homelessness until the threat is acted on, having to quit every med, and forced into checking urself into a mental hospital.. in my opinion.. crosses the line from character building to just intentional spirit breaking

seattle. pretty view that i sacrificed everything for, but there's more to lose so i'm not done yet.

120

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

the First person i talked to out here used to live in fayetteville, which i left. i had been kicked out the night before and finally became that form i had thought about for so long, an inverted ribcage: now the whole world is the heart of me ,and i don't remember what i was before.

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

strangers ask my name and it takes me too long to tell them

me, tits out lit by a midnight lightning storm in the far lands

060

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

i turbo dosed my last estrogen shot and cut my gabapentin in half. very clearly in psychosis but a very clear kind of psychosis. as in i have clarity. i could probably pilot a machine really well

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

that was a terrible week but there are ways to be set on fire without losing the only things that feel worth believing in. it's not my place to beg, it's my place to tend to the needs i see to the best of my ability. i will do that, i will seize the means available to me and own my life

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

to be real i would be more forward about sometimes using the name hathaway if it wasn't extremely, horribly obvious where i got it from and how

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

i just misread "cutiepie" as "cuntipede" and now i have a new goal in life

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

"sex wouldn't work in zero g" truthers have never seen real lesbians have sex and it shows. zero g would actually make it easier, a lot easier

14510

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

it's been too long since i dreamed of you.

i weighed your heart when i held you in my arms and it felt like touching the sun. weightless like a bird in my hands, trembling warmth, an interface with the newness of you, still anchored to the needle you threaded so long ago. be free of it: there is nothing to forgive, it was a treasure to be an aspect of your weaving. given a thousand chances i would make the same choice, and hope for a thousand more.

000

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

to be real i would rock the name silmeria if it didnt out me as the biggest nerdiest weeb in the realm

000

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

are you really good at pretty ideas? are you taking steps to make it real? are you a conceptual being? are you a being who interfaces with the real? have you made your body of pretty ideas or are you making it real? is your body made of skin? have you become more real than your skin?

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

approaching a particular level of panicked isolation, the last time i was here i drove up a mountain during sunset and it was so pretty at the peak i just fully started weeping and some guy that was also up there looked at me like i just puked on his shoes

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

woman with infinite pain disease is devoted to the most uncomfortable motorcycle available. story in two parts: i went to a mountain pass and i leaned further than ive ever leaned before. it was beautiful. i then expired and i may not move again for two weeks

rear tire of my bike and there is only a 1/2 inch section of tire not worn down, CHICKEN STRIPS NO MORE

me dead tired crapped out sprawled on the side of the road the asphalt was very warm and lovely on my back

160

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

i Have to stop having feelings for straight women who are the most obviously closeted lesbians who adore me and can't deal with it i MUST STOP BUT I CANT

030

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

i think i will maybe never recover from this, ,mia asked the dog why she was licking her and i said "she's grooming you" and started crying im in dire straits

000

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

"i hope you die" is weak, reductive, overused. much stronger is "i hope that after 16 years of yearning you reconnect with the woman who groomed you and she declines further contact because the intensity of feeling is too great". try getting over that

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

nothing is all and always buried except in protective and illusory dream: all continues in its own way.

translucent text over backdrop of fog:
i prioritize connective experiences over anything else. i know there is no rarity like the rarity of moments between humans, and i've always been aware of the fragility of my own life; it is a simple choice to make.

i don't want to miss something so rare because of fear. it is easy to heal a wound sustained through action: i will carry the wounds of inaction until my processes are concluded.

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

at any given moment my current iteration of consciousness is only aware of 5% of the games we've played

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

(clueless) im going to get so many Likes for this Delivery

floodwaters flowing into a big stream over volcanic dirt with sparse grass

040

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

(clueless) omg im so excited to see my wife!!!

foggy forest road with power line very foggy

foggy forest road with fire hydrant and no parking sign very foggy

050

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

the more i burn the further i go. the only things holding me back are my chemical contracts. without those i have the freedom of a spirit calling strangers names in the woods

000

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

last year when i was dreaming abt being cut open so i could birth myself into new life i didn't understand how much of my spiritual weavings needed to be cut off to feed the gestation of that new life. nevertheless it's all happening as i dreamed it. im never going to be the same

millipede beset upon by various nymphs or aphids of some sort

020

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 25/04/2026

how it feels to teach someone how to drive in post-covid brain damage epidemic rage reflex 2026

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

lowkey it feels soooooo good to give up on all the hopes and beliefs i had for humanity. no more will i overextend to trust in the bare minimum. no more will i beg for mercy from ppl who were just luckier than me. you win, you made an individualist out of me, betrayal is the default. i absolve you

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

ive become a polarizing figure by being sick half to death and very very mentally desperately unwell but the more i give up on the better i am as process with eyes

deci from below, boobies, massive honkers, poorly covered by tanktop boobies and tidd the last thing you see before being smothered etcetera

140

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

i asked the postrats for help and they ignored me in favor of discussing how to most favorably treat the algorithms grown in their desktop computers. and in spite of it all i'm still going there because i want to see the trees. dopesick and yearning for moss and fern and tide

010

ᵈₑᶜᵢdᵤ𝚊:_❀*̥˚. @perdifoil.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

is there anything with evil rat bastard nonbinary characters bc all the ones i can think of are more along the lines of heckin valid representation

000