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Paperback Paradise

@paperbackparadise.bsky.social

44K followers 18 following 637 posts

The world's #1 used book store. Come visit us at the edge of eternity. store: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com

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Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Photo of the back cover of Do You Have Any Chips? True Stories of Alien Intrusions. Synopsis copy reads:

ALIEN INTRUSION
Chilling tales of aliens chilling in homes uninvited are rampant across America. Those subjected to intrusions have been mocked, but the inconveniences they experience are real. These are their stories:

"One night I found an alien in my kitchen listening to psytrance off his phone. He waved at me, then took what I can only assume was 'alien molly' and began geeking out. He kept hugging the fridge and talking about peace and eugenics. It was horrible."

"My living room reeked of weed at 3:00 AM when I noticed an alien on my couch watching TV. He made me sit down and watch this infomercial for a new basketball that has an AM/FM radio inside. He kept falling asleep, but every time I reached for the remote, he'd say, 'hold on, I'm watching this, when his almond-shaped eyes were clearly closed. It's stupid, right? The radio inside the basketball would definitely break after dribbling the ball too much. He made me late for work the next day."

"An alien made fun of my apartment because it didn't have any good snacks inside of it. I had to dress him up in a disguise, then I drove him to three different convenience stores before he found a bag of shrimp chips that made him sick. He rolled around on the ground moaning in pain for six hours before he slowly disappeared over the course of an additional hour. While he was disappearing, his moaning had a reverb effect which made it worse. It absolutely sucked."

DO YOU HAVE ANY CHIPS:
TRUE STORIES OF ALIEN INTRUSIONS
A PAPERBACK PARADISE BOOK

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Photo of a vintage UFO abduction book cover which features a photo of a silhouetted being standing in a bright doorway. Title reads:

DO YOU HAVE
ANY CHIPS
TRUE STORIES OF ALIEN INTRUSIONS

"They're here and they want to hang." - Alien Experiencer

DR. LAUREN IMPSON

A PAPERBACK PARADISE BOOK

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

These will change your life forever

Photo of a framed print featuring the paperback paradise book ‘Defeating Wood’

Photo of a framed print featuring the paperback paradise book ‘The Room Where Dracula Sucks His Own Dick’

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

New book prints in the shop 👽 paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/category/pri...

Photo of a print of the paperback paradise book ‘The Alien That Sucked Me Dry’

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Photo of a vintage romance book cover which features an illustration of a woman pressing her head into a Cop’s chest as the cop and woman stare off independently. Title reads

Next to His Black Heart
By Anne Rash

Some flavor graphic also reads:

NOTHING BUT
DARKNESS
IN HIS EYES

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Please only talk to me about books

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

reading a book is a great way to hang out with someone who is both dead and famous

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Photo of a vintage book cover which features a man’s head looking toward the heavens, his disembodied hands and feet are where they should be, but he is missing his arms, legs, and torso. Title reads

WHERE’D THE REST OF MY
FREAKING BODY GO?
a novel by
Morene Welted

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Photo of a book cover which features an illustration of a man and woman meditating aside a chakra map and inside a translucent pyramid which is flying over the desert. Copy and title read

It’s happening again

WHITE PEOPLE
UP TO
NO GOOD

by John D. Nuagape

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Photo of a vintage book cover featuring a bearded man chopping planks of wood in half. Title and copy read

Defeating Wood

Teach Wood
The Lesson It Has Long Deserved

Gary Arkanasse

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Photo of a book cover featuring a man with an intense face working a juicer with a carrot in his hand as he’s surrounded by fruits and vegetables. Copy and title read

COMPLETELY LEGAL

TORTURING
FRUITS
VEGETABLES

GET THE
VEGETABLE SECRETS

THEIR BLOOD WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ALIVE™

"Torture is OK." - The U.S. Constitution

RALPH MOLTENSOLE

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Photo of a book cover featuring another photo of a real cockatiel. Title and author read:

Introduction to Screaming
By Dr Coqatielius Boidmin

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Mark is incorrect

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Book prints for your home ✨ on sale at $15 and now shipping internationally 🙂 shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/category/pri...

Photo of a paperback paradise book cover print in a frame. Cover features two men facing off on a chess board in space, title reads: 10,000 years in the future it finally happens…

MEN TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS

by Tender B. Cryin

Reposted by Paperback Paradise

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 30/08/2024

thriller ᵇ ᵃ ᶜ ᵏ ᶜᵒᵛᵉʳ⬇️

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Photo of the back cover of Where’s My Leftover Meatball Sub? Plot summary reads:

Her meatballs went missing...
After five years together, Mark and Marianne were engaged to be married, but a small drop of red sauce in the fridge where half of a meatball sub had once rested called that all into question.

Where's my leftover meatball sub?

Salt and pepper had seasoned her meatballs, but shame and disgrace were now seasoning Mark's face.
Guilt and marinara were all over his lips, while the olive oil stain of • betrayal seeped into her heart. She tried to let it go, but this treachery lingered like garlic on her fingers for weeks. Could she really go through with the marriage? If this is who Mark really is, maybe she's better off aprovolone...

Another
PAPERBACK
PARADISE
BOOK
that you can grind up and add to any meatball recipe

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Photo of a vintage teen romance book featuring a close up of a woman attempting to lock eyes with her lover who is closing his eyes in shame. Title reads:

Where’s My Leftover Meatball Sub?

Additional copy reads:

Has the darkest shade of betrayal fallen upon their love?

By Rachel Hoagiessence

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

title comes first based on immediate impressions, the rest is trying to understand it

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Photo of the back cover for ‘Getting the seamen ripped out of my body in the future’

Features this plot synopsis:

EARTH YEAR: 2052
Mankind has officially made it this far and the times are wonderful because there's a new machine that automatically removes all the semen from a man's body. Vending machines like telephone booths provide a discrete room to be secreted by technology in public. A metal vacuum tube attaches to the head of the penis and tears out all the ejaculant as men are elated for thirty incredible seconds, then a short video on the importance of civil obedience is played.
Standing up or sitting down, getting the semen torn out of your body is all anyone cares about anymore.
ANOTHER PAPERBACK PARADISE BOOK
PRINTED IN A WORLD ABSENT OF GOD

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Photo of a vintage science fiction book cover feature a man with a pleased face confined to some sort of space suit complete with a helmet and tubes that wrap around him. Title and copy read

GETTING THE SEMEN RIPPED OUT OF MY BODY IN THE FUTURE
A Science-Fiction Fantasy
"Unreal and incredible" - Milked Man Magazine
By Dornold Gornsworth

Genre is listed as Science Suction

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

🙏☺️🌸📚

Reposted by Paperback Paradise

Wilde Butch @wildebutch.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

I talk about Crabitalism enough that it's a saved word in my phone and I love that about me Big thanks to @paperbackparadise.bsky.social for making one of my favorite jokes ever

Screenshot of Instagram post from paperback paradise a orange colored book with a giant crab demon eating hordes of people who are fleeing in fear the book is titled Crabitalism one a distant planet exists a new and exciting economic system Crabitalism humans go in crabs become more powerful!

Reposted by Paperback Paradise

Lou @louberry.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Left @paperbackparadise.bsky.social at the local little free library

Little free library with bookmarks saying “I stole this book from the little free library”

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

Let me know what the dinos were up to when you find out

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Oops I forgot to end this sale so it’s extended through this weekend 😎 bookmarks are on sale too 🌸

Photo of two bookmarks

First bookmark features the silhouetted criminal from the neighborhood watch sign and reads
‘Yeah I stole this book from the little free library in my neighborhood’

Second bookmark reads

‘My other bookmark is a piece of trash’

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

You know what time it is

Photo of a bookmark that reads

Congratulations queers

This bookmark is

FOR YOU

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Dicklosure Day

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

this weekend only 🚨 45 paperback postcards for just $20 💥 shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/ever...

Photo featuring paperback paradise postcards

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

if you love reading give me a hell yeah

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Enjoy all 35 Paperback Paradise bookmarks for just $20 🌻🌸🌺 shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/ever...

Photo of two bookmarks

First book mark features a cute, pink, big-eared smiling guy beset inside a prison of marble. Text reads:

I have trapped god inside this bookmark and bestow his imprisonment onto you - DO NOT LET THIS MANIAC OUT

Second bookmark features a photo of a blooming rose and a photo of a waterfall. Text reads:

Books are like ammunition for your brain

Load your brain with bullets and destroy your enemies with your mind

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

Back cover of Beach Humper with a synopsis

They Called Him The Sandman

Frank loved the beach and would often go 'crazy style' on it - meaning he would hump it with great ferocity while families screamed and ran.

Lifeguards would shout NO HUMPING THE BEACH as 'crazy style' evolved into 'insane style.' This went on until he was arrested. He was addicted to the game (beach humping) and his life was falling apart because of it. Then he got the ultimatum: enlist in a World War or go to prison for life.

Frank learned to fly a plane, but every mission over water his plane would mysteriously crash and he'd end up on the beach humping & pumping the grains of time. His commanding officer would say,
'DO NOT deliberately crash your plane this time just so you can wash ashore and hump the beach, Frank!' And Frank would say, 'oh yeah, I would never do that, man. Twenty minutes later he'd be screaming that his plane had been hit, despite not engaging the enemy, then he'd climb out and jump into the ocean. His fellow soldiers would cry tears of freedom as they watched him pull himself ashore and go 'insane style' on the beach. He watched so many of his friends die while doing this.

At the bottom of there is a real photo of soldiers in a boat with the caption:

Frank's friends who died while he was humping

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

Thank you troops

Vintage pulp novel featuring an illustration of a man gasping for air as he pulls himself out of the water and onto the beach - he looks like he is thrusting passionately. Behind him a smoking plane is sinking in water. Copy and title read

He was supposed to fight a war, but he had sandier things to do

Beach
Humper

By Richard Sachs

A TRUE AMERICAN STORY

oh no he really is humping some sand while his friends die

"Questions the honor of veterans."
-Hump Magazine

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Back cover of Animals That Owe Me Money, text reads:

I have lived in the woods for many years and I have come across many animals - animals that I thought were my friends. I let these animals borrow money, like a friend does, and I never heard from them again. Maybe my heart is too big, or maybe I am too good at being a friend, but I am done being friends with animals and I am done giving them my money.
If you see the critters in this book in real life please call me immediately. Do not give them money. Do not try to be their friend. These animals not only owe me money but they owe me an apology as well.
Chris is a good boy and he deserves to have his money returned to him.
- Samuel Pissed, father of the author
Chris Pissed is a first-time author out of spite. He lives alone in the woods not far from his parents.
PAPERBACK PARADISE BOOKS
SLOPSTOWN • PRAYERVILLE • FINGERTON • RUTT

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Photo of a book for children featuring illustrations of various animals. Title reads:

ANIMALS THAT OWE ME MONEY
(North American moochers)

By Chris Pissed

paperback Paradise Books

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

Photo of a bumper sticker that reads

Whoa there pardner
I’m reading

Photo of a bumper sticker that reads
I love absolute silence

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

I would never lie so you’ll never find me on my way to lie down

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

new messages for readers who are driving behind you 📚 available in the paperback shop: paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com

Photo of a bumper sticker that reads

I’m on my way home to LAY DOWN

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

Photo of a vintage science fiction book. A woman braces herself against a wall as she steps away from a pink, fleshy ball alien with tendril eyes who leers toward her. Copy and book title read

Relationship is the only ship that matters to him

INCEL FROM ANOTHER PLANET

by Herman Baldsack

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 05/04/2026

Photo of a bookmark featuring a silhouette of a skateboarder jumping over Jesus on the cross as a crowd cheers

Text reads:

WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
Matthew 19:26

Reposted by Paperback Paradise

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

Image of a vintage book cover featuring a photograph of a giant hand pointing the barrel of a gun at the viewer as it comes through the front door of a house. Copy and title read

HE BOUGHT A PIECE CAUSE HE’S DONE WITH PEACE

GOD’S GUN

Say your prayers

Reposted by Paperback Paradise

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

a classic paperback

Image of a vintage book cover that features an illustration of a hawk who looks slightly ticked off. Maybe that’s just how birds of prey look all the time. Title and copy read

I'll Shit Right in Your Goddamn
Mouth

Fucking dare me

By GARROW TALONFINGER
The Award-Winning Author of Don't You Look at Me

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

Photo of a vhs for an episode of the Animorphs tv show that features a boy transforming into a dog. Titles and copy read

GOD’S PUNISHMENT

NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT

the inner thoughts of the child float around his transformation, they read:

What’s happening?
Sure could go for some dog shit
I eat dog shit now?
What did I do?
Wish I was eating dog shit right now

A promotional graphic proclaims

A boy turns into a dog and eats dog shit for lying

Part 1 the sins of children series

Back cover copy for NOW YOU EAT DOG SHIT

SOME PEOPLE
NEVER EAT DOG SHIT...
SOME DO.
God can see and hear everything
so when Kevin and his friends decide to watcha PG-13 movie when they were supposed to be studying God knew he would have to punish Kevin since it was his house. The next day before school Kevin suddenly morphs into a dog and runs outside to look for dog shit to eat.
He eats all the dog shit in the neighborhood and the neighbors give this hungry boy a round of applause for cleaning up the place. But when he morphs back into Kevin they are all disgusted. They call him Dog Shit Boy and tell him to stay the hell away from their dogs' asses. Every few hours Kevin turns back into a dog to eat more dog shit.
The only way Kevin will be free of God's curse is to figure out what he's being punished for, but if he can't do that before midnight he'll eat dog shit for the rest of his life!
THIS TAPE CONTAINS THE EPISODES
"DOG SHIT BOY" AND "GOD'S GUN"
PARTS I AND II
PRODUCED BY PAPERBACK PARADISE
A DIVISION OF PAPERBACK PARADISE ENTERTAINMENT

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 26/02/2026

You can enjoy all 40 Paperback Paradise bookmarks for just $25 🐴 here’s half of ‘em 🦕 paperbackparadise.bigcartel.com/product/ever...

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

Photo of paperback paradise bookmarks

Reposted by Paperback Paradise

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 29/04/2025

really good book that everyone should read right now ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᶜᵒᵛᵉʳ⬇️

Vintage book cover featuring a close up photograph of a woman’s eye in a hypnotizing gaze. Copy and title read

Could I Borrow

Four Thousand, Three Hundred, and Sixty-Seven Dollars?

FOR NO SPECIFIC REASON

"Reasons are like raisins - no one likes them."

A CONVINCING NOVEL BY YORE FRENDE

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

Some of these need an update for sure

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

Thank you Cabbage Boyo!

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

Windsor condensed 😎

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

if the drop shadow is doing this your book is haunted

Photo of a T with a drop shadow that is squiggly and tall as if it were a g-g-g-ghost!

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

Red Rose City for this one

Reposted by Paperback Paradise

Paperback Paradise @paperbackparadise.bsky.social · 23/08/2024

Romance