iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

‼️ATTENTION MALL SHOPPERS‼️ Effective immediately: The haunted doll is now Employee of the Month. Marco is banned from investigating the vents. If you hear the mannequins whispering, no you didn’t. We are absolutely a real mall. Any questions?

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

Mall walking is a sport. We support all athletes, especially the 6 AM grandmas crushing their step goals.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

BREAKING: Oviedo Mall was not invited to the Oscars. Again. Despite our incredible performances in: Best Original Panic (Marco, lost in the back hallways) Best Supporting Haunted Doll (She’s always watching.) Best Visual Effects (The food court exit that wasn’t there yesterday.)

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 25/02/2025

The back hallway smells like ozone. Rachel says that means something has been here. Tobias won’t say what. The haunted doll turned her head just a little too far when we asked. Anyway, happy Tuesday!

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

Dear Manager, This week: 1. Marco found a 6th mall entrance. We ignored it. 2. Cassie made peace with the mannequins. For now. 3. Tobias trapped something in the vents. 4. Rachel tested every massage chair. 5. The haunted doll updated the website. Thank you, The Interns

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Learned today that knowing the mall social media guy is apparently a flex in some Orlando circles. Special shoutout to my Epic Universe fans—didn’t realize I had a fan club, but if y’all want to build me a dark ride, I won’t stop you.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Lost & Found update: One Bluetooth speaker blasting Eye of the Tiger, a single aviator sunglass lens, and what Marco claims is “an ancient mall relic” (it’s a broken fidget spinner).

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

The arcade is not a babysitting service. We repeat: THE ARCADE IS NOT A BABYSITTING SERVICE.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 19/02/2025

To the person hosting karaoke in the parking lot: your spirit is admired, your pitch is not.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 16/02/2025

We don’t know where the candy store used to be. No one does. It’s part of the mystery now.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 16/02/2025

The mall music cut out for exactly 13 seconds. In the silence, we all heard the haunted doll laugh.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

We have to come clean. We took out the Duolingo Owl. It was the only way to bring the world back to the glory of the '90s. Mall culture will rise again. Food courts will thrive. Arcades will reign. You’re welcome.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

🚨 ATTENTION LAST-MINUTE LOVERS: There’s still time to find love (or at least someone who will share a soft pretzel with you) before Valentine’s Day. Worst case? You could always fall for a slightly unhinged mall social media manager. DMs open. 💌

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 12/02/2025

The Duolingo Owl is dead. The haunted doll was present. We are not asking questions.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

Happy Season Finale of Football Day to all who celebrate! Who are we voting for?

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

🚨 UPDATE: The haunted doll has returned. We did not ask where it was. It knows we are afraid. It is enjoying this.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 08/02/2025

The Sears Demon™️ wants you to know there’s a great deal on clearance items today. We don’t know what that means. Come find out.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

ATTENTION: The mall river is now running in reverse. The coins are slowly rising back to the surface. Someone or something has denied the wishes.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

"You're so funny." Thanks, I’m a mall social media manager who answers customer complaints about store lights flickering with a straight face, while secretly wondering if they’ve spotted the other dimension.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

If you hear a voice over the intercom offering "deals beyond your comprehension," DO NOT LISTEN. That is not a store promotion. That is the Sears Demon™️.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

A new exit appeared in the food court. It is not on the blueprints. No one who has gone through has returned. Marco wants to investigate. We support him from a safe distance.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 05/02/2025

We don’t care what TikTok said. The photo booth is not a portal to another dimension. It barely prints pictures.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

The haunted doll has been missing for three days. Mall security says they are “not concerned,” which is exactly what someone who has already been replaced by the doll would say.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 03/02/2025

Lost and found update: If you lost a single Heely and a very aggressive note about Auntie Anne’s pretzel prices, please see the management office.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

Huh... look at us outlasting Seminole Towne Center

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

Good morning to everyone except the guy who tried to skateboard down the escalator. You are not Tony Hawk. You are not even Tony Pigeon. Security is watching.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

BIG NEWS: The Lamenting Mallrats Society is now available for pre-order! Finally, a poetry collection that asks, “What if your mall is alive and also kind of hungry?” Buy it now before the mall finds you first. a.co/d/4HnOa56

a.co

Amazon.com

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 01/02/2025

ATTENTION SHOPPERS: If you hear whispering from the former Bath & Body Works store: Do NOT investigate. Do NOT attempt to identify the voice. The voice will attempt to bargain. It will offer you 30% off a three-wick candle. This is NOT a deal. Walk away.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

PLEASE NOTE: The mall does NOT have a haunted doll problem. The doll situation is entirely manageable. If the doll asks for your name, do NOT answer.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

Rachel says she will personally fight anyone who leaves their free sample toothpicks on a random surface instead of the trash. She has the spirit of a mall cop but the legal authority of a mall intern. Act accordingly.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

DO NOT attempt to befriend the animal scooters. Especially the elephant. It is not friendly. It does not like you. It has seen things.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

To the person who parked diagonally across three spots outside the movie theater: you must think you're special. You're not.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

Please stop playing “lava” with the food court chairs. The interns have opinions, and they’re all bad.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

Mall closes at 9 PM. If you’re still here after hours, you live here now. Rent is due on the 1st.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

Lost & Found: A rubber chicken A single sock A mysterious note reading, “Meet me by the carousel at midnight”

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

Mall Reminder: The food court river is NOT a meeting point for covert operations. The food court is NOT a bunker. The carousel is NOT “an alien weapon” (Marco, looking at you).

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Lost & Found update: We’ve received one Croc (again), an unopened Capri Sun, and what Tobias insists is “a time capsule from 2004” (it’s a Bratz doll head). Claim your treasures.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Shoutout to everyone who came to the mall today for their #OnyxStorm drop—no spinning wheels, no crashing carts, just good old-fashioned in-person chaos. 💅

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

To whoever turned the carousel into a rave: we don’t know whether to applaud your creativity or ban you. Maybe both.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Ugh. Remember this morning when TikTok didn't exist? That was nice.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Lost & Found: A single Croc, a well-loved Goosebumps paperback, and what Marco insists is “a haunted Build-A-Bear heart.” Collect your items before Rachel performs an exorcism in the loading dock.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Huh... look at us outlasting TikTok

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

FYI: the massage chairs are not a substitute for therapy. But they might help a little.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

If you hear music coming from an empty store, don’t investigate. This is mall safety 101.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

We’ve received multiple complaints about a haunting in the photo booth. Our policy is clear: ghosts must pay full price.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 15/01/2025

We’d like to remind you: the river is not a wishing well. Stop throwing coins in. It’s only making it stronger.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Someone asked, “Why is there a river in the food court?!” Listen, we don’t ask why you’re here.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Someone just yelled, “This mall is alive!” Thank you for noticing.

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Oviedo Mall @oviedomall.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

“Does the mall have ghosts?” No. That’s absurd. What we do have are anomalies of spatial reasoning. Totally different.

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