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Oldwisemonk

@oldwisemonk.bsky.social
10 followers 18 following 38 posts

How am I not like myself? How am I not like myself?

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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
There was as study done to see if more money = more happiness. Someone got funding to prove something we kinda all know is true, despite the common saying. Who are the findings for though?! Is it so someone can immediately correct a person when they break out that saying? "ACKshually....."
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Chaos is a new Tekken player grabbing a controller and picking Eddy Gordo.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
The logic defending the renaming is brilliant! Every lake in North America and South America should be renamed to "Lake America" or "America Lake." Let's not stop there. Every river, too! "America River!" What else? Mar-a-Lago? A Spanish name? *gasp!* "America Club!" Trump Tower? "America Tower!"
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I feel like Dolly Parton met Olivia Rodrigo and thought, "Yeah. Y'all will be okay."
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
A story in two parts.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Overheard in Cobra-La: "Bring me one of those! This, I command!"
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Every now and then, I think about how I have whiskey that is older than some of my coworkers.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
If they make a documentary about Morgan Freeman's 124-acre bee sanctuary, who would narrate it?
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Most of my catchphrases are straight up stolen from others or quotes from movies, but I haven't heard anyone else say, "Time to chase the Dukes out of Hazzard County," when they go to the bathroom. So I got that going for me.
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Reposted by Oldwisemonk
Alt CDC (they/them) @altcdc.altgov.info · 19/06/2026
1/4 Today is Juneteenth. On June 19, 1865, enslaved people in Texas learned they were free, more than two years after the Emancipation Proclamation. Juneteenth reminds us that freedom requires action and people willing to carry the truth forward.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
If dogs aren't our kids, explain to me why they spit out their veggies and just want to eat chicken tendies for every meal.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
I haven't seen the Masters of the Universe movie yet, but this is my favorite review right now: "I'm convinced Jared Leto has the real Epstein files."
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
Wouldn't mind if the Everest record they broke was instead related to garbage removal.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
On aging: When every room has a side quest, and you're a completionist. Unfortunately, you can only track one quest at a time.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
10,000 steps a day is the new 8 glasses of water.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
I want to go on record to say there are quite a lot of things that will bring all the boys to the yard.
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Reposted by Oldwisemonk
Soraya Nadia McDonald @soraya.press · 09/02/2026
Benito is a threat b/c he makes art so alluring and enjoyable you want to understand everything about it and then you end up learning about sugar and slavery and colonialism and the Taínos and Hawaii and then you probably have some thoughts of your own, and that's why art is powerful and dangerous
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
I feel like we left Utah, and then it got all the northern lights. You're welcome, I guess.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 04/08/2025
If you want to nearly eliminate widespread voter fraud, destroy the Electoral College and the current process for gerrymandering.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 04/06/2025
For those of you trying to come up with character names to use in @duneawakening.com, I've analyzed the naming patterns in the books to come up with some inspiration for you. You're welcome. Zunis Changa Robert California
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 06/03/2025
I think "Movers & Shakers" would be a cool name for a bar that features rotating beer selections and bartenders'-choice cocktails.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 17/07/2024
Remember when there weren't red M&Ms for a while, and then they suddenly came back in the late 80s to rock our world? And before blue M&Ms, we had to put up with tan ones? TAN! Candies! Life is one hell of an adventure!
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 30/06/2024
Bucky O'Hare's last name is an obvious acknowledgement of his species. I don't know if Chicago O'Hare is a relative, but if they are, I'd imagine Chicago is adopted.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 28/06/2024
The only people mad at the Toys 'R' Us artificial intelligence commercial are folks that grew up and stopped being Toys 'R' Us kids.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 26/05/2024
The Mad Max movies are street level Fist of the North Star
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 03/04/2024
"Your call is very important to us. Your estimated wait time is 30 minutes. Or you can talk to an AI agent right now." Damn right I'll be picking the AI support 9 times out of 10.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 31/12/2023
Ringing in the new year with one last 24-hour marathon. Raising money for a good friend that needs a liver transplant. In the pilot seat, as always, is the intrepid G. Say hi, share, or donate. Love you! Watch: www.twitch.tv/tickkid Learn: bonuspointgaming.com Donate: gofund.me/668b1fa4
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 21/12/2023
Hallmark movies are Sharknados that take themselves seriously.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 09/12/2023
The Twelve Days of Christmas was definitely written by a birder. Probably retired, too.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 24/11/2023
It's a really good day to start, continue, or finish Reservation Dogs. I mean ... if you don't mind fantastic stories that might make you a little teary-eyed.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 24/11/2023
Gonna fire up the most extreme episode of Bob's Burgers on @hulu.bsky.social
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 21/11/2023
If there isn't a nurse or nurse community out there using "Bed Baths & Beyond" as a name, that's a pretty big missed opportunity.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 21/10/2023
I don't get to use my sledge hammer or pick axe very often, but when I do I drag it on the ground like I'm in a horror movie.
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Oldwisemonk @oldwisemonk.bsky.social · 17/10/2023
Everyone: Yay, it's Fall! Mosquitoes can fuck off! Texas mosquitoes:
No, I don't think I will.
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