iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 31/07/2026

july 30: the un's international day of friendship. a real holiday for the thing most of us are worst at. murthy's house calls podcast spent two episodes on friendship: great ones take effort. one text today. the one you keep almost sending. archive.org/details/hhs-house-calls…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 29/07/2026

i found out a friend of eleven years changed jobs from a linkedin notification. nobody did anything wrong. we just quietly stopped being the people who tell each other things first. texting them tonight. no catch-up marathon, no apology for the gap. just: "saw the new job. proud of you."

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 02/07/2026

july is social wellness month. quiet reminder: your loose ties count too — the old coworker, the neighbor you wave to, the barista who knows your order. Granovetter named these 'weak ties' in 1973. they're often how news, ideas, and chances first reach you. one's worth a hello today.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 01/07/2026

build-in-public: the thing people ask me for most is a daily 'did you call your mom?' push. i keep saying no. an app that nags becomes one more chore you're behind on. so Oh Crap Hey just sits there — a quiet list, waiting till you open it. the nudge stays yours. ohcraphey.app

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 01/07/2026

a reach-out tracker that makes you stop and log the reach-out has already lost. you'll text your friend, then forget the bookkeeping. so in Oh Crap Hey, long-press a name to message, call, or FaceTime — and it logs the reach-out itself. you just talk to the person. ohcraphey.app

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 27/06/2026

june is men's mental health month. a lot of the men i know don't open up across a table. they open up shoulder to shoulder — driving, walking the dog, fixing something. so skip the big talk. text a guy to come do a thing. the rest tends to follow. US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 25/06/2026

Putnam's stat that stuck with me: from 1980 to 1993 more americans bowled than ever. league bowling fell ~40%. we kept the hobby, lost the weekly room. text a friend. pick a regular thing. www.journalofdemocracy.org/articles…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/06/2026

build-in-public, mac edition. for weeks, adding a contact on the mac rendered the new name half-hidden behind the next row. SwiftUI's List wouldn't push the rows down. adding someone is the one thing the app can't fumble. so i tore out List and hand-rolled the scroll view. it holds now.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/06/2026

the friend you keep meaning to text would probably be glad you did. "when we fear rejection, we constantly reject people," psychologist Marisa Franco says. so send it. www.nosmallendeavor.com/marisa-fran…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 21/06/2026

father's day. if today's heavy — your dad's gone, you're estranged, you wanted to be a dad and aren't, he's here but it's complicated — you're not alone in it. the day's bigger than the cards and the grill photos. US: 988 · UK: Samaritans 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 21/06/2026

build-in-public, loneliness awareness week. early on i prototyped streaks. text a friend, keep the streak alive, watch it climb. then i killed it. a streak you break is one more way to feel like you failed at friendship. the app just shows time since you last talked. #LonelinessAwarenessWeek

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 20/06/2026

loneliness awareness week. the friends i've drifted from were mostly the middle ring — the gym regular, the neighbor a sidewalk handed me. Dunkelman named that layer; it thins fastest once the room's gone. text one of them. #LonelinessAwarenessWeek #LetsTalkLoneliness US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 19/06/2026

loneliness awareness week. i want a good story. when did a friend text you out of nowhere — no occasion — and it landed exactly when you needed it? most of us never learn our small check-in mattered. tell me about one that did. #LonelinessAwarenessWeek #LetsTalkLoneliness

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 18/06/2026

loneliness awareness week. saturday nights get loud — everyone looks busy, and the quiet feels like proof of something. it's just a quiet saturday. lots of us are home too. text one of them — "what're you up to?" counts. #LonelinessAwarenessWeek #LetsTalkLoneliness US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 18/06/2026

loneliness awareness week. admitting i'm lonely used to feel like confessing i'd failed. i hadn't — lots of us are quietly in it. the week's one idea: say it out loud to someone. "i've been lonely lately" is a whole message. #LonelinessAwarenessWeek #LetsTalkLoneliness US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 17/06/2026

loneliness awareness week. across 148 studies, strong social ties raised survival odds ~50% — on par with quitting smoking. connection is load-bearing. text someone you miss. #LonelinessAwarenessWeek #LetsTalkLoneliness doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316 US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 15/06/2026

it's loneliness awareness week — the 10th. hi Marmalade Trust, happy anniversary. the week runs on small, repeatable acts. today's: text someone you haven't talked to since february. no occasion, no perfect opener. just hi. #LonelinessAwarenessWeek #LetsTalkLoneliness

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 12/06/2026

snooze hides a contact you're not ready for. the risk: the break quietly becomes forgetting. 1.2.6: turn on 'remind me when the snooze ends' and a single local notification brings them back the day it's up. opt-in, nothing leaves your phone. a pause with an end. ohcraphey.app

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 11/06/2026

genuinely curious about the initiators. every group has the one friend who texts first — plans the thing, sends the "you alive?" meme, keeps the thread breathing. if that's you: what makes you the one who reaches out? and if it's someone else — when did you last tell them it matters?

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 10/06/2026

june is men's mental health month. a lot of us answer 'good, you?' on reflex. i do it too — someone asks how i'm doing and i'm halfway into 'fine' before i've checked. next time a friend asks, answer one notch more honestly. then ask one back like you mean it. US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 09/06/2026

monday is national best friends day. the friend you'd call first if everything went sideways — when did you last call them just to talk? mine lives two time zones over and we mostly trade memes. i'm calling her monday. you could call yours.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 08/06/2026

Anne Helen Petersen named the loneliest stretch of adulthood: the friendship dip. late 20s through the 50s, when work eats the hours friendship needs. time for friends is a privilege and a priority. pick one. block a real hour this week. annehelen.substack.com/p/the-friend…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 07/06/2026

The 1.2.6 release is currently in review that has this "snooze expire notification" feature. Thanks for your patience!

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 03/06/2026

some friendships you can leave quiet for a year and pick right back up. others go cold after a month. genuinely curious about the first kind: the friend you can drop in on after forever. what do you two actually do that keeps it that easy?

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 02/06/2026

june is men's mental health month. men with no close friends: 3% in 1990, 15% now (Cox, 2021). the men around you get asked how they're doing far less. ask one. US: 988 · UK: 116 123 www.americansurveycenter.org/resear…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 31/05/2026

the friendship i think about most is one i let go quiet. no fight. just months, then a year, then it felt too weird to text first. Jennifer Senior put it plainly: it's normal for friendships to fade. keeping them is the rare part. so today, the rare part. one text.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 30/05/2026

mental health awareness month closes sunday. text the friend you've thought about all month. surgeon general's advisory: relationships are "a source of healing hiding in plain sight." www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/sur… US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 29/05/2026

move-contact-between-profiles shipped in 1.2.5. the quick way to build it: delete the contact, recreate it in the new profile. clean code that throws away every reach-out you'd logged. so we did the slower version. moving someone keeps their whole history. the record of showing up is the point.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 28/05/2026

tapping the heart is its own thing. the friend still hasn't heard from you. i did it tuesday. saw their post, tapped, closed the app. felt like i'd done something. mental health awareness month, wednesday version: open their chat. type one thing you remember. send it. US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 26/05/2026

snooze hides a contact for days, weeks, or months — greyed at the bottom of the list, off the widget. we shipped it because sometimes the friend at the top is the one you're not ready for yet. logging a reach-out clears it automatically. apps.apple.com/us/app/oh-crap-hey/i…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 25/05/2026

Roberts & Dunbar, 2015: family ties hold when neglected. friendships need active contact to last. the strongest predictor of friendship quality is feeling a friend pays attention. text the one on your mind. link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s… US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/05/2026

When you manage profiles, you can click on the profile’s name to change it, the icon, and the thresholds.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/05/2026

You can today! Be sure to update to the latest version (1.2.5).

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/05/2026

Thompson cites economist Enghin Atalay on the cost: a 5-point rise in time spent alone tracked about the same drop in life satisfaction as a 10% lower household income. i make an app for staying in touch, so take that with salt. but Klinenberg's cue is exactly what it's built to make louder.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/05/2026

one distinction matters here: solitude and loneliness aren't the same thing. sociologist Eric Klinenberg, quoted in the piece: "It is actually a very healthy emotional response to feel some loneliness. That cue is the thing that pushes you off the couch and into face-to-face interaction."

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/05/2026

the drop is sharper for some. for unmarried men and adults under 25, in-person socializing fell more than 35%. Derek Thompson's word for the cause is blunt: self-imposed. "Self-imposed solitude might just be the most important social fact of the 21st century in America."

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 23/05/2026

the atlantic's 2025 cover story, "the anti-social century," is built around one statistic: between 2003 and 2023, the time americans spend socializing in person fell by more than 20%. 🧵

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 22/05/2026

small 1.2.5 fix: 'last contacted' rounds at midnight now. '5 days ago' stays put all day instead of ticking into '6 days ago' while you're looking. we wanted those labels to read in calendar days. Goldfarb calls that communication cadence. apps.apple.com/us/app/oh-crap-hey/i…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 22/05/2026

mental health awareness month. WHO Commission, 2025: loneliness is linked to ~100 deaths every hour. friendship is public health. text one person tonight. www.who.int/news/item/30-06-2025-so… US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 21/05/2026

at 22, friendships happened on accident - same building, same shifts. Franco's research: adults who assume it stays that easy are lonelier. mental health awareness month. text the friend you'd otherwise wait to bump into. drmarisagfranco.com/platonic-the-bo… US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 19/05/2026

1.2.5 is live. we shipped move-contact-between-profiles: shuffle someone from 'work' to 'actual friend' (or back) and keep their history. Dunbar's research: network layers shift as closeness changes. the tool should too. apps.apple.com/us/app/oh-crap-hey/i…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 18/05/2026

It’s amazing how much disk space you save by not being spyware.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 18/05/2026

monday cleanup. mac contact list had a bug: new contacts rendered behind the next row. real 'oh crap' every time. ripped out SwiftUI List, swapped in a LazyVStack. fixed. tradeoff: lost trackpad-swipe, kept right-click. apps.apple.com/us/app/oh-crap-hey/i…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 18/05/2026

mental health awareness month, sunday version: think of three people who keep popping into your head. pick one. text them before the week starts. 'no reason, just thinking of you' is a whole message. US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 17/05/2026

Hall, 2019: 50 hours → casual friend. 90 → friend. 200+ → close. what counts: leisure, catching up, meaningful talk. work-task hours don't move it. the friend you keep meaning to text is on that scale. news.ku.edu/news/article/2018/03/06…

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 17/05/2026

a slow saturday question: when you randomly text a friend, what's your opener? mine is usually a screenshot of something dumb. once an osprey. first thought, no edit.

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 15/05/2026

i keep waiting for the perfect time to text the friend i drifted from. the right opener. new news to share. friday at 7pm is fine. "thinking of you" is fine. they might be waiting for me to text first, too. mental health awareness month, said small. US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 14/05/2026

the friend you almost-texted last week. you opened the chat, stared at the typing bar, closed the app. mental health awareness month. the awkward part doesn't go away — but the text you almost sent matters most. still in your drafts. send the imperfect version. US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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Oh Crap Hey @ohcraphey.app · 13/05/2026

it's mental health awareness month. the boring useful fact: the Harvard Study has followed people since 1938. the strongest predictor of physical health at 80 was relationship satisfaction at 50. friendship is preventive care. adultdevelopmentstudy.org US: 988 · UK: 116 123

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