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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

on his face. I dive past his shoulder, rip the bathroom door open, and slam it shut behind me, completely drowning him in my nonsense and leaving him alone in the hallway with the wreckage of my sanity.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

cartoon-smile girl who looked at me like I was a piece of biological waste, and also I really, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 need to pee, so if you'll excuse me before I recreate a traumatic third-grade incident right here in the hallway, that would be great!" I don't even wait to see the look of absolute bewilderment

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

bursting its banks. "I’m totally fine, completely intact, no bones broken, though my pride is currently flat-lining on the carpet, and honestly, your zipper technique is highly efficient, not that I was looking at your crotch like a total creep because I was actually just avoiding the

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

my lips, willing my brain and mouth to stay quiet, and take his offered hands. They are warm as he pulls me back to my feet, and the moment his scent invades my senses, my brain becomes a scrambled mess of forgetfulness, my mouth opens, and the floodgates of babble break free like a dam

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

This is my moment, my one opportunity to talk to him alone, to tell him my name. Maybe even give him my number? The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I know if I allow a single one to pass, I will break out into my normal babble, talk nonsense and scare him off for good. So I purse

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

wrecking ball? His eyebrows shoot up in absolute surprise, recognition flickering in his eyes—shit. He does remember me—before a slow, devastatingly amused smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. He lowers his hands, leaving his shirt hem slightly untucked, and looks down at me.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

the main event. 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘶𝘱, 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴. 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘶𝘱, 𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺. "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?" He questions, his voice like a soft caress against my flesh. Does he remember me from the quad? That I crashed into him then, like I am his own personal

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

My brain implodes at the same time my cheeks explode, and I am convinced I am the colour of a ripe tomato. Shit. I didn't just accidentally bump into him; I tackled him, tripped over him, and now have a front-row seat to a private viewing of his crotch, as if he is some opening act before

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Looking straight up at his crotch while he finishes snapping his jeans into place. My breath leaves my lungs; no wonder the cartoon girl looked so damn pleased with herself. I would have been too if I had been locked in a bathroom with the man of my literal dreams.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

dreams, night after night for months. John Logan. Time comes to a still around me; the muffled bass of the music and the chatter of voices from downstairs fade into the background, replaced by the violent, chaotic hammering of my own heart against my ribs. I am on the floor, at his feet.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

voice's origins. My eyes travel up denim-clad legs, to a waist, where a pair of hands are currently in the act of pulling up a zipper and fastening a belt. My eyes continue upwards: a chin littered with stubble, a perfect mouth and nose, and up into the eyes that have continually haunted my

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

because all anyone ever does is point and stare at me while they laugh hysterically because I ended up peeing my pants. 𝘖𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘥 𝘯𝘰. 𝘍𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. Thankfully, my bladder is still full, and I am still in urgent need of the bathroom. After exhaling a sigh of relief, I continue with my analysis of the

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

mortified, before I slowly tilt my head back to see exactly whose shins I am currently occupying. But not before I give a quick look around to be certain no one else witnessed what can only be at the top of my most embarrassing moments list, and I end up on TikTok. Then have to leave school

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

an upright position. 𝘚𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘳—𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵. My ass hits the carpet with a dull thud, my teeth chattering as the initial shock reverberates through me like a stone hitting the water. "𝘞𝘩𝘰𝘢—𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵, 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺," a low, gravelly voice rumbles above me. I sit there for a fraction of a second, winded and completely

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

upright, in typical Grace style, I end up falling over my own feet. Giving a sarcastic mental thanks to the laws of gravity and my own clumsiness, I exhale a groan. My arms windmill through the air like I'm caught in a hurricane, flying wildly as if I am somehow going to take flight and end up in

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

before my bladder literally stages a protest. My head is still turned when the universe chooses that exact moment to destroy me completely, as I suddenly find myself colliding with a wall of rock-hard, immovable muscle. The force of the impact sends me off-balance, and in my attempt to stay

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

hookup? A drug deal? Had she won the treasure hunt and found the hidden stash of premium snacks? Because honestly, the last option is the only one that justifies that level of smugness. I shake the thoughts free from my overactive imagination and focus back on my primary mission: finding a toilet

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

listing a series of highly creative curse words that would make even a sailor blush. Externally, I stand there, wondering what exactly went down in that room to give her such a smug glow. Of course, my true-crime-obsessed brain instantly starts constructing a narrative. Could it have been a secret

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

insufferable smile I have ever seen outside a toothpaste commercial, looking down her nose at me as if I am a pile of crap she had just stepped in with her brand new shoes. I narrow my eyes, drilling mental holes into the back of her head as she struts back toward the stairs. Internally, I am

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Which is how I find myself wandering upstairs alone, opening every door like I am on a treasure hunt, and the prize at the end is the bathroom. I have barely taken two steps down the hall when a girl walks out of a room, adjusting the strap of her top. She is sporting the biggest, most

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

pull a Rocky and throw my fist in the air; again, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳. Sadly, my good luck vanishes in the blink of an eye, as I spot what I can only assume is the restroom, if the line outside is anything to go by, and given how big the place is, there has to be more than one, right?

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

With a sigh, I duck and dive under numerous arms and bodies, trying not to do something stupid, like fall over and draw attention to myself, and send a prayer of thanks to the powers that be when I find myself free of the crowds without incident. It takes all my self-restraint not to

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

in there for a while? Text Ramona to tell her I am a terrible wingman, and then hide until it is socially acceptable to leave. Not like she would even be aware of my presence anyway, not when she has the blonde hockey god, as she calls him, in her crosshairs.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

operating at level ten thanks to being left on my own, so here I am clinging to the wall like a spider looking for the safety of its web! My eyes dart around my limited surroundings, desperately looking for an escape route, or even a bathroom because, of course, I need to pee. Maybe I could hide

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I am mid-sentence when my friend turns her back on me and wanders off towards the kitchen area. She is definitely in full-on stalker mode, because mere seconds later I catch the blonde head of Dean Di Laurentis weaving in and out of the group gathered by the keg. My social anxiety is now

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

had even agreed to her dragging me to this party. This was not my scene at all. I would rather be back in the dorm, snuggled in bed with snacks and watching a crime documentary. But again, my inability to say 'no' comes back to bite me in the ass.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

So much for my decree to stay far, far, far away from John Logan because apparently the universe had other ideas. Fast forward four days, and here I am standing in a frat house being suffocated by the smell of sweaty bodies, cheap beer, and Ramona's excessive perfume. I still wasn't sure why I

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

ＳＯＬＯＧｒａｃｅＩｖｅｒｓ - ＷｒｅｃｋｉｎｇＢａｌｌ

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

It seems everyone is in love, even my gummy bears. And here I am, still waiting for my Prince Charming.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Tomorrow, I will go back to being invisible. Tomorrow, I will stay away from the quad, away from the arena, and far, far away from John Logan. But tonight? Tonight, I'm just going to sleep and pray to the universe that I don't dream about him. Or puppets. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Instead, I yank the duvet up to my chin and stare blankly at the ceiling, letting a boy who doesn’t even know my name completely ruin my night. A boy who is currently out there living his best wild hockey-god life while I hold onto my V-card like it’s a state secret.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Because if I keep looking, I will keep spiralling and end up planning the perfect, untraceable crime, and I really don't think Briar U's prison orange is my colour.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

She is everything that I am not: blonde, pretty, and can probably hold a conversation without blabbing about which way she likes her toilet roll! And now, I hate myself. I aggressively lock my phone and toss it onto the mattress, refusing to stare at her perfect blonde hair for one more second.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

The harder I look, the more I see. And yup, there is Logan's hand on the girl's ass that he is posing with. Her cheeks are flushed as she gazes at him, as if reliving a secret moment, and I instantly hate her.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Which is how I find myself scrolling through Logan's latest Instagram posts at ten minutes to midnight, how I know he is at Malones with the rest of the team celebrating their win tonight, and why I find myself fixating on one photo in particular, and jealousy knots deep in my stomach.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Not when my nerves get the better of me, and I lose all function over my brain and my mouth, and suddenly I am telling a guy all about the time I peed myself on a school trip in the third grade. So, yes, admiring him from afar is definitely the safer option.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I can stare all I want, and I don't have to worry about my mouth running away from me and ruining my life. Because the alternative is going into full-on Grace mode, and let us be really honest here, nobody needs to subject their ears to that.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

A nineteen-year-old virgin pinning all my hopes on a guy who views me as nothing more than a seat-filler in the arena. But as long as he stays down there on the ice, and I stay up here in the stands, I can play pretend.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

gloves. All the while, I tried my best to look like I was studying my textbook, while actually peering over the top to keep track of jersey number 22 as he effortlessly skated across the ice. I'm pathetic, really.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I, of course, have zero interest in hockey, being more of a football girl; however, given my inability to say no to people, I found myself sitting in the freezing arena, and ended up resembling an Arctic explorer still shivering despite my four layers of jumpers, tights, jeans, boots, a hat and

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Poor girl is almost as delusional as I am, still clinging to that thin piece of hope that Dean Di Laurentis will notice her across the arena, and declare his undying love for her, or at least bless her with his apparent awesome dick.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Except the universe seems to enjoy cruel jokes, because my reprieve from my humiliation lasted all of four hours before Ramona burst through the door waving tickets to tonight's hockey game in my face.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I couldn't even hear him over the blood rushing through my ears before he walked away without a backward glance. Leaving me standing there flustered and burning with humiliation, completely unaware of the category five hurricane he had left whirling in my chest.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Instead, I just gazed at him with a horrified, bewildered look, like a deer caught in the headlights as my heart pounded like drumbeats against my ribs. And the worst part? He didn't even care; he just looked through me as if I were a ghost, and mumbled what I assumed was sorry.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

My brain short-circuited as I looked up into his eyes, and all of my usual nervous babbling was lost on my tongue. I was completely mute. Just standing there like a statue, unable to think straight or form any words to convey my apologies.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

These are facts, but never once did I suspect that my crush would be the cause of my ultimate embarrassment. Because as I stumbled over a stone the size of the continental United States and fell backwards into a rock-hard chest, there he was. John Logan, my drop-dead gorgeous crush, in the flesh.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I am used to embarrassing myself; it is a habit I have practised since I was a child. I know I talk too much, and I babble nonsense when I am nervous. I get too invested in anything to do with true crime, and have an unhealthy addiction to gummy bears.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧: remember to look up from your phone screen as you wander through the quad, unless you want to walk into a wall of pure muscle. Yes, it happened. There I was, minding my own business, reading the latest email from Crime Monthly, when my entire life flashed before my eyes.

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Grace Ivers || Parody @oftranquilgrace.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

ＳＯＬＯＧｒａｃｅＩｖｅｒｓ - Ｇｈｏｓｔ

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Reposted by Grace Ivers || Parody

Summer Dı Lαurentıs - Parody @sassyinchanel.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘋𝘪 𝘓𝘢𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘴 :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ ♡ Novella & descriptive writer ♡ Book & show portrayal ♡ Mature themes / MDNI ♡ Adult mun, 25+ ♡ #OffCampus #BriarU A performance by #Cիαo𝚝icDivα

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