iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

So for #JamesBondDay I had every intention to post a fully polished wonderful promo for the release of the newly revised BINGO CUSTARD - the first Clitty Teller story But I’m still writing the book So I just cobbled this together for now

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 13/09/2026

Writing Sand of Gold gave me the sensibility without the control, Writing Versions of Her gave me the control without the sensibility, And the new Bingo Custard is the moment both finally come together . It’ll just take a while longer why I finish this stupidly long edit

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 10/09/2026

Apparently we are all going to be killed by AI robots by 2030 and I’ll still be editing this bloody Clitty Teller story

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 29/08/2026

Well there be at least two of them I guess 2027

The title page of a Word manuscript reading “Clitty Teller, Agent of M.O.I.S.T in Bingo Custard by Selina
j

The title page of a Word manuscript reading “Clitty Teller, Agent of M.O.I.S.T in Live Laugh Love Die! by Selina
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Selina j @ofselina.com · 16/08/2026

I don’t mean to alarm anyone but (aside from polishing them up) I have actually written two complete Clitty Teller novellas Bingo Custard & Live Laugh Love Die! This is unheard of I am very much in unchartered territory

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 14/08/2026

Not outraged. Just disappointed it wasn’t aliens I just want it to be aliens

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 14/08/2026

Fucking hell Phil - Keep up Yeh I pulled it cos I have totally rewritten it and I don’t want two version occupying the same space

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 14/08/2026

I’m fine for beta readers now but thank you for your offer

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 14/08/2026

Clitty Teller, Philip I wrote it in 2025 and now I am writing it again cos I didn’t like what I wrote in 2025

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 14/08/2026

The new (and hopefully improved) BINGO CUSTARD has come in at just over 28,000 words which makes it the longest thing I’ve ever written Been sent out to Beta readers to see if it was all worthwhile

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 13/08/2026

I have rewritten BINGO CUSTARD A previous 16,000 word tonal mess of a story has, over the past year, been lovingly turned into a 26,000 word comic spy story I am genuinely proud of. Clitty Teller Will Return

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 16/06/2026

After ignoring it for months and hoping that it may just rewrite itself I have finally rewritten the first chapter of BINGO CUSTARD Clitty Teller will Return (but not like any time soon)

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 16/06/2026

I purposely ignored this

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 15/04/2026

Isolated Jaded Kissed Lost

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 13/04/2026

Exposed Feral Guilt Hollow

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 12/04/2026

Absent Bruised Control Denial (From my Versions Of Her Era)

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 06/04/2026

THORNS [1994] When Carol allows her privet hedge to overgrow, she faces the full wrath of the Upper Tittlebury Neighbourhood Society— who decide she deserves to be crucified.

A dark, gothic-style movie poster titled “THORNS (1994).” A close-up of a pale woman’s face fills the frame, her eyes closed and lips painted black. A crown of thorns presses into her forehead, drawing thin streams of blood that run down her face. The background is shadowy and minimal, creating a stark contrast with her skin. Text reads: “To wear the crown… is to suffer.” Starring Jocelyn Fitzroy, produced by Peterson Leigh, directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 05/04/2026

Why don’t Bluesky do the balloons thing like the other place Do birthdays not matter here?

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 04/04/2026

EVE [1980] A Peterson Leigh / Pierre Martel-Bouchard European arthouse collaboration It’s basically 90 minutes of a naked woman hanging around a tree offering apples to anyone who passes by.

A distressed vintage-style movie poster titled “EVE” (1980). The image shows a black-and-white close-up of a woman’s lower face and hands, holding a red apple near her lips. The apple is the only coloured element. Above, the tagline reads: “Adam was not her first.” Credits below list Romilly Moreau, produced by Peterson Leigh, and directed by Pierre Martel-Bouchard. The poster has visible fold lines and aged paper texture.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 03/04/2026

THE CHRIST HEIST [1973] Director Lawson Mack wanted to make a biblical epic. Producer Peterson Leigh wanted another heist movie. They compromised.

A distressed 1970s-style movie poster titled The Christ Heist. A glamorous blonde woman in a flowing white dress stands in a torn stone doorway, holding a crowbar, wearing strappy sandals. The background is warm red and sepia with heavy vintage wear. Bold text reads: “Three Women. One Tomb. A Raid of Biblical Proportions.” Large gold lettering forms the title, with the “T” shaped like a cross. Credits include Peterson Leigh and Lawson Mack, with starring names listed bottom right.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 02/04/2026

THE POPE’S EXERCISIST [1963] When the Devil challenges the Pope to a boxing match, it falls to ex–street fighting champion Sister Beryl to train His Holiness for the fight of our lives. Remade years later as The Pope’s Exorcist — with all the good bits missing.

Faux 1963 movie poster for The Pope’s Exercisist. At the centre, a calm, glamorous nun presses her hands together in prayer while wearing oversized boxing gloves. The design mixes religious imagery with boxing in a tongue-in-cheek way. Creamy, distressed background, bold curved red title, and vintage-style cast credits complete the mid-century cinema look.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 01/04/2026

They think they’re being clever and edgy but it just reveals a very very disturbed character

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 01/04/2026

Ahhh the fucking wall of simps As Orwell said in 1984 and I paraphrase “You were told to reject the evidence of your eyes cos you’re a sad lonely fuck who just wants digital norks’

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Reposted by Selina j

JR @janewantstorejoin.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

This is long but it's important, given that some people are talking about it again & others are asking qs These accounts are unhinged & not who they pretend to be. Wake the fuck up, people. Stop enabling them And stop with th "I know them". You don't. No-one has met them... bsky.app/profile/jane...

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 01/04/2026

This fella is fucking unhinged. The switch in behaviour when a woman calls them out is telling

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 27/03/2026

A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING AT FLAVERHAM HOUSE [1990] Eliza inherits an alpaca sanctuary and finds herself torn between a quiet herder and a wealthy suitor with a massive house—then a minor misunderstanding spirals into a crisis that could cost her everything.

Vintage-style 1990 film poster for A Slight Misunderstanding at Flaverham House. A rain-soaked woman in a blue period dress stands in a misty countryside, looking off to the side with a tense expression. An alpaca stands behind her, partially obscured by fog. Cool blue tones create a moody, dramatic atmosphere. Tagline at the top reads, “It was supposed to be a pleasant weekend.” Credits below name Jocelyn Fitzroy, produced by Peterson Leigh, directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 25/03/2026

ROLLER MAID [1984] Susan is a high-speed thief with a simple routine: pose as a maid, rob the rich, and skate away before anyone notices. It’s works—until she unknowingly targets the home of a ruthless gangster. Now, she must stay one roll ahead of the men hunting her down.

A vintage-style 1980s movie poster titled ROLLER MAID (1984). A blonde woman in a black-and-white maid outfit roller skates toward the viewer at speed along a sunlit road, smiling confidently. She carries a large bag spilling jewellery, cash, and silverware, suggesting theft. A car with bright headlights follows behind her, implying pursuit. The sky is warm and hazy with an orange glow. The tagline reads: “She cleans up… then rolls out.” Credits at the bottom list Isabella Pembroke, produced by Peterson Leigh, directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 24/03/2026

LADY HOOD [1972] After being refused entry to Robin Hood’s gang, Mavis—friend of Marion—decides to rob the rich before Robin does. Not to help the poor. Just to prove a point.

A worn, sepia-toned 1970s-style movie poster titled “LADY HOOD.” A blonde woman in a green hooded medieval dress sits against a large tree in a forest, legs drawn up and looking directly at the viewer. A longbow curves behind her and a quiver of arrows stands nearby. At her feet, a sack has spilled gold coins across the ground. The image is heavily textured with grain, scratches, and faded colours. Tagline reads: “She Steals For Herself.” Credits list Isabella Pembroke, produced by Peterson Leigh, directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 23/03/2026

MOUTHY [1966] Edith is a model employee—punctual, polite, and silent. You can’t ask for much more than that, can you? But then goes an offers an opinion in a meeting… And naturally, something has to be done.

A vintage-style 1966 British movie poster titled “MOUTHY.” A glamorous woman with a 1960s beehive hairstyle and black cat-eye glasses looks upward with parted lips, her chin held by a man’s hand entering from the left. She wears a sleeveless dark dress and a circular stud earring. The colour palette is faded peach and sepia with distressed paper texture. The tagline reads: “What Makes a Woman Mouthy? Ask Any Man!” Credits at the bottom list Lilith Ashcroft, produced by Peterson Leigh, directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 20/03/2026

OSTARA [1997] When Carol moves from London to a quiet Cornish village, she can’t help noticing that the children all look strangely alike. She puts it down to “one of those countryside things.” Until she eats an egg she purchased from the local shop for breakfast…

A dark, grainy 1990s-style film poster. A close-up of a woman’s mouth hovers in shadow at the top of the image, her lips slightly parted. Below, her hands cradle a cracked egg with a mottled, decaying surface. The title “OSTARA” appears in large serif text, with the tagline “Something is about to hatch” above.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 18/03/2026

It’s her phone voice Jane If you had stuck around you would have already seen their totally plausible explanation about it

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 18/03/2026

It is and I should let it go But they took a photo of a woman who had nothing to do with anything , manipulated it to make her a man and then mocked her She wasn’t in the best place mentally and it was not nice to see Maybe it’s me but never been able to let that go

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 18/03/2026

Yes but in a pure act of gallantry I am trying to get myself on to the Pinned tweet

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 18/03/2026

So Rachey posted a fake pic purported aged 13 in front of some Spice Girls pics I may have posted her driving licence that says born in 1980 so couldn’t have been 13 in 1996 Oh and the pic was fake and that’s creepy It’s kinda snowballed from there

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 18/03/2026

MIDNIGHT UNDRESS [1981] Janet Pritchard (Isabella Pembroke) suffers from a rare sleep disorder causing her to undress at midnight. Concerned for her safety, psychiatrist Dr. Hargreaves (Jack Mehoff) insists on observing her. He continues to do so for an entire year.

Vintage-style 1981 movie poster titled “Midnight Undress.” The image shows the lower half of a woman standing in sheer stockings, lit by cool blue light against a dark, textured background. A garment hangs loosely at her side, suggesting she is undressing. The typography is bold and cream-coloured, with the tagline “After all it’s after dark.” Credits below list Isabella Pembroke, produced by Peterson Leigh and directed by Lawson Mack. The overall tone is moody, sensual, and slightly eerie, with a distressed, grainy finish.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 17/03/2026

MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING (1973) A brooding, romantic drama sees Barbara (Felicity Abernathy), a quiet secretary, fall for a rising office star, until his habit of raising everything under Any Other Business begins to unravel both their relationship and her sense of order.

Vintage-style 1970s movie poster titled MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING. A woman with a 70s bob hairstyle and large glasses sits on a stool against a textured ochre wall, writing in a notebook. She wears an orange dress and bracelets, her posture thoughtful and introspective. The tagline reads, “Before they could move forward, they had to agree on the past.” Credits at the bottom list Felicity Abernathy, produced by Peterson Leigh and directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 16/03/2026

BELLE’S END (1967) When bored housewife Isabelle (Imogen Hartley) joins a lawn bowls club to fill her afternoons, her suspicious husband overhears talk of Belle’s “ends” and her command of the “jack” and becomes convinced she’s taken up prostitution.

Vintage-style 1967 movie poster titled Belle’s End. A blonde woman in a dark 1960s dress crouches and looks up toward the viewer from a textured floor, photographed from above. A black lawn bowl and a small white jack sit beside her. The poster reads “Starring Imogen Hartley” with credits for producer Peterson Leigh and director Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 13/03/2026

BUS HOPPING [1996] During a London train strike, Shirley must cross the city using nothing but buses — while completely off her face on naproxen and co-codamol. Based on a true story.

A gritty 1990s-style movie poster titled “BUS HOPPING.” A tired blonde woman sits slumped against the side of a red London bus at night, cigarette in hand, surrounded by empty bottles. Above her reads the tagline “Choose a better route.” The poster credits Jocelyn Fitzroy and the fictional studio Peterson Leigh, directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 12/03/2026

C.A.R.O.L. (1985) A company installs C.A.R.O.L. — a Centralised Automated Regional Office Liaison unit — to improve productivity. But when employees start dying for using the wrong holiday request form, it’s clear she’s taking company policy far too seriously.

Vintage-style 1985 sci-fi movie poster titled C.A.R.O.L. A glamorous office worker with messy 80s blonde hair sits at a desk with chrome robotic legs resting on the tabletop while holding paperwork and a pen. One lens of her glasses glows blue. Venetian-blind shadows fall across the scene. Tagline: “Created for efficiency. Programmed for order. Destined for chaos.” Credits: Starring Isabella Pembroke, produced by Peterson Leigh, directed by Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 10/03/2026

GO GET CARLA [1971] Elegant Londoner Carla (Imogen Hartley) moves to a quiet English village, expecting a tranquil life. But after accidentally pushing into the queue at the local post office, the villagers, much to her surprise and slight discomfort, decide she must die.

Vintage-style 1971 movie poster for GO GET CARLA. A glamorous blonde woman sits calmly in a dark leather armchair, holding a wine glass splashing red liquid as a bullet pierces the glass. A knife and a threatening “Die!” note are stuck in the chair behind her. Bold retro title above: GO GET CARLA.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 09/03/2026

A LITTLE LIGHT FINGER WORK [1965] Unlucky in love, Linda begins a romance with a charming pianist known for his delicate touch on the ivories. Unfortunately he’s also a master jewel thief with plans to steal her boss’s priceless diamond collection. Hilarity ensues.

Vintage-style 1965 film poster for the fictional British comedy A Little Light Finger Work. A surprised woman with a 1960s beehive hairstyle and mod dress sits on top of a grand piano, her mouth open in shock. A man in a suit sits at the piano with his back to the viewer, playing the keys between her legs. Large pink bubble lettering reads “A Little Light Finger Work.” Above it, white text reads “Imogen Hartley – Tickling your ivories in…” The poster has faded colours and distressed creases to resemble an aged cinema poster. Credits read “Peterson Leigh presents” and “Directed by Lawson Mack.”

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 27/02/2026

THE RUBY POSTCARD [1973] When Carol forgets to bake a cake for the village fête, she tries to pass off a shop-bought one as her own. The local villagers respond in a totally reasonable and proportionate manner: branding her with an “S” and sending regular death threats

Vintage-style movie poster in deep red tones titled “The Ruby Postcard.”
A blonde woman dominates the left side of the image, head tilted back with mouth open, pulling apart a torn red blouse to reveal a large red “S” marked on her chest. The poster has a distressed, worn texture like an aged 1970s print.
On the upper right is a cream title panel reading “Peterson Leigh presents The Ruby Postcard,” with credits for starring Isabella Pembroke and directed by Lawson Mack. On the right side, bold text reads: “She’s about to experience life post mark.”

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 27/02/2026

Yes without any spoilers to the movie - the ghost is a deceased orthopaedic surgeon mansplaining her symptoms to him when all she wants to do is be left alone to sort it out herself

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 26/02/2026

A massager I did all the research to ensure I accurately depicted a massager one might use for aching joints or something

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 26/02/2026

GHOSTS ANNOY HER [1971] A supernatural comedy about a woman who can communicate with ghosts. They want her help crossing over. She just wants some alone time. (The groundbreaking ghost effects were achieved by throwing flour over the actors.)

Vintage-style 1971 movie poster for Ghosts Annoy Her. The poster shows a blonde woman sitting up in bed, clutching the bedsheets with a startled expression, while a glowing translucent male ghost leans toward her, speaking urgently. The image has a faded greenish tint and distressed retro print texture. Large retro lettering at the top reads “Ghosts Annoy Her,” with the tagline: “Ghosts can talk to her… she just doesn’t want to listen.”

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 25/02/2026

THE TRIANGLE OF TRANSGRESSION (1979) — A lonely woman joins a village orchestra as the triangle player and falls into a chaotic affair with a brooding trombonist and a flamboyant man with massive castanets. Directed by Lawson Mack.

Vintage-style 1979 erotic thriller poster titled The Triangle of Transgression. A blonde woman in a deep red dress sits on the floor, looking upward with an intense, almost devotional expression. She is framed between the legs of a man in dark pinstripe trousers and polished red shoes, his hands hanging at his sides. A faint geometric triangle outline surrounds the film’s title at the bottom. The colour palette is warm sepia and muted browns, with subtle distressed texture. At the top reads “Isabella Pembroke,” with side credits for Producer Peterson Leigh and Director Lawson Mack.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 19/02/2026

Imogen Hartley is Peg in MEN! (1963) A light-hearted romantic comedy produced by Peterson Leigh and directed by Lawson Mack. It’s about sex. But not officially. You couldn’t talk about such stuff back then.

Vintage-style 1960s movie poster titled MEN! featuring a shocked blonde woman in a red dress holding a clothesline stretched between her hands. A small man hangs from the line with clothespins, standing upright in the centre. Text reads “Imogen Hartley is Peg in MEN!” with credits for a Peterson Leigh production directed by Lawson Mack. The poster has a distressed, faded paper texture, giving it an aged retro cinema look.

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Selina j @ofselina.com · 18/02/2026

FROZENED [1983] After massacring a version of Total Eclipse Of The Heart & being finger banged by the photocopier, Janet leaves the Office party early, gets lost and finds herself adrift on an icy lake with only an alpaca for company Not to be confused with Life Of Pi

Vintage-style movie poster titled FROZENED. Tagline at the top reads, “Not For The First Time She Is On Thin Ice.” A glamorous blonde woman in a dark, fitted outfit sits cross-legged on a cracked “Warning: Frozen Lake” sign in the middle of an icy lake at dusk. Behind her stands a white llama, both reflected in the frozen water. Snowy trees line the horizon under a cold blue sky. The poster has a worn, folded-paper texture. Credits at the bottom read: Starring Isabella Pembroke, Produced by Peterson Leigh, Directed by Lawson Mack, Coming Soon.

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