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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

Young John the Baptist (2025) Little Harry Pickles stars as Johnny Baptist Junior in this religiopolitical farce. When John-Bap attempts to show Elon Musk (Rami Malek) and Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) the error of their ways, they decapitate him and stick his head on a plate.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

The Body Politic (1998) It begins with a casual conversation about pro-life. But within days, former Hollywood liberal James Woods begins to transform into a gigantic anus. Girlfriend Geena Davis looks on helplessly, in David Cronenberg's classic horror.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

Howling 9: The Howlennials (2016) When Alice turns into a werewolf for the first time, she tries to get her BFF Zach to take selfies of them both. But at 60 per cent through his own transformation, Zach totally forgets how to use a smartphone, and just stares at it like an idiot.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

L'option Végétarienne (1972) After 17-year-old Lily Chapeau gives up meat, she's disowned by her family, banished from her Provençal village, and forced to relinquish her citizenship, leading to drugs, destitution and a lengthy prison sentence, in Claude Chabrol's cautionary drama.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Ringo (1969) A grotesque watery apparition is haunting the nation's teens via accursed TV sets. Can anyone survive his reign of tentacled terror from a little hideaway beneath the waves? Tagline: "He'd let us in...knows where we've been...in his octopus's garden...in the shade."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Lager, Loot & Lads' Mags (1997) Nick Moran and Damon Albarn pull off a brewery heist, in this refreshingly authentic working-class crime caper from Sebastian Edward Fitzalan-Knightly III, the 19th Earl of Rothermere.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

The Dolls (1966) Tom Courtenay, Sarah Miles and Beryl Reid star in this wooden supernatural thriller about a group of King's Road swingers turned into murderous ventriloquist dummies by an evil sorcerer. Spawned the single "Gottle of Gear" by Twiggy.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Phone Book (1966) 17-hour Andy Warhol short of Lou Reed meticulously leafing through the New York phone directory and passing catty remarks on every entry therein.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

The Realistically Middle-Aged Indiana Jones Chronicles (1992) Indy's back - but is his back up to it? Never mind rope-bridges, it's a trial just getting out of an armchair without muttering "oof!" "Ha ha, you always farting, Doctor Jones!" says Short Round.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Rhubarb Crumble (1975) Mike Leigh drama in which sunny social worker Shirley Curtain joins her friend Digory for pudding in Islington. While Digory is largely unresponsive, letting his spoon rest in the mostly uneaten crumble, Shirley tries to chivvy him up with a jolly song about whales.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Cry of the Bungle (1981) A group of hill walkers in Wales are forced to flee for their lives after accidentally disturbing a colony of wild Bungli, in this cult classic from Joe Dante.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Banter (1939) How the repartee flies between off-on news reporters Cary Grant and Lauren Bacall in Howard Hawks' classic screwball comedy! Bacall's hilariously acid tongue has Grant deftly parrying her verbal blows, before locking himself in the office bog for a quick hate-wank.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Ringpiece (1969) James Bond must face down an old foe after Nurse Agatha (Diana Rigg) plans to infect the entire west with threadworm. 007 leaps into action, armed with Q's prosthetic anus.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Chewbacca in Africa (1979) Chewie tackles ivory traders while escorting the lady Shabazz, in this sequel to A Wookie in Harlem. Isaac Hayes' Grammy-winning soundtrack spawned the single, "Beast Love."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

A Wookie in Harlem (1978) Chewbacca takes on a drug cartel, in this much-sampled Blaxploitation crossover. Referenced by the Wu-Tang Clan in 1993's Yo Dawg ("Ghost gettin vexed / breakin all hex / wild like Chewie in Lex"), while Ice-T has called it his all-time favourite movie.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

John Thaw and Dennis Waterman in The Sweeney (1976) "We're the Sweeney, son, and we haven't had any Whiskas. Now, put your knickers on and make us a bowl of tuna chunks in jelly."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Joy Division in Summer Holiday (1980) Hooky, Bernie, Stevie and Ian pile into a customised double decker and head for the Unknown Pleasure Beach in this joyful youth musical. While Hooky has a punchup with a chip shop owner, Ian befriends a seaside donkey, and sings his Top 10 hit 'Shattered Mule.'

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

The Dying of the Light (2009) A chimp drives a dodgem into a swimming pool. Mrs Thatcher eats a puffin. A housewife watches two flies copulate on a table before swatting them at moment of climax with a rolled-up Telegraph. A profound study of media manipulation from Adam Curtis.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Hamble's Track Suit (1981) Glenda Jackson plays the serial killer with a penchant for synthetic fabrics, in this thriller adapted from the chilling picture book by Ian McEwan.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Back to the Future 19 (2015) Marty McFly travels back one minute to the past to add an extra half-teaspoon of sugar to his tea, because it just sort of needed it tbh.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Please Don't Sing Anymore (1947) Googie Withers thinks she has the voice of a freshly hatched angel, yet to everyone else sounds like a cement mixer full of kazoos. Events kick off after she serenades a packed tram with a tone deaf La Vie En Rose, in this unlistenable melodrama.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Back to the Future 20 (2019) Marty McFly travels three-and-a-half hours into the future to skip the adverts, while watching an old episode of the Inbetweeners on All 4.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Long Red Tunnel (2019) A group of traffic wardens go mad and plaster one another with tickets after entering a long red tunnel, in Gaspar Noé's latest provocation. At some point the camera turns upside down, while someone bangs on a dustbin lid and screams the word "Breakfast."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Fingerings (1997) Top flautist David Balthazar (Jeremy Irons) has surgery to replace his penis with a flute. But questions are asked when his mistress gives birth to a piccolo, in David Cronenberg's shattering drama of bourgeois alienation.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Frangipane (2001) The tale of a young French waitress who devotes her life to bringing happiness to others. Every single one of your boyfriends will hate this film; the first in a steady chain of micro-resentments that will ultimately cause your relationship to wither and die.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Lord Feintqunt Rides Again (1975) In order to keep his youthful looks, Lord Feintqunt (Christopher Lee) sacrifices dozens of virgins in a gigantic wicker snail. Until he discovers a two-for-one deal on Elizabeth Arden at Boots.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

I, Daniel Dyer (2016) "Bollocks! You can't make me work like a mug in a scrapyard with my dicky ticker, just cos I ain't got a Scooby how to fill out the DWP's forms. Now uphold my appeal before I kark it in a fucking bog, you cunt."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Punch the Queen (1980) Richard Branson-produced cash-in starring Peter Cook as the Malcolm McLaren-style manager of the "orrible!" eponymous punk band, fronted by Dudley Moore's ageing rocker Bertie Bunions. Solely notable for a cameo by Don Letts as ganja supplier "Horace the Florist".

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Pussferatu, starring Kevin (1922) "Mwahahahaha. I yem Pussferatu, a creature of-a de night, and I cast no reflection or shadow... don't look at the wall."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Requiem for a Dreamies Packet (2000) Darren Aronofsky's harrowing psychodrama about a hopeless addiction to tasty cat treats.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Cat People (1942) Curse of the Cat People (1944) Val Lewton's classic double sees Simone Simon's accursed fashion artist transform into Mrs Pickles. And fall instantly asleep for 16 hours. At 11pm she wakes up and has a mad old fucking runaround. Then goes back to sleep again.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Basic Instinct (1992) Michael Doglas bites off more than he can chew, in this erotic thriller from Paws Verhoeven.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Back to the Future 21 (2019) Disguised as Alan Yentob, Marty McFly travels back to 1990 to cancel a proposed satirical news quiz, thus averting future disaster. Meanwhile, Doc Brown commissions 117 series of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, to restore karmic balance.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

50 Suedes of Ray (1997) Ray Winstone's criminal genius creates a clone army of Brett Andersons to carry out post office robberies, in this sci-fi thriller with the tagline: "He's all their daddies now."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

The Three Minimalists (1984) Following the repetitive slapstick antics of Michael Nyman, Philip Glass and Steve Reich, as they pull one another's ears off and brain each other with frying pans, over and over again, with very slight variations.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

White, Middle-Class & Jaded (2006) Greta Gerwig trips over her own feet while walking down the sidewalk. She apologises to the sidewalk and limps on again, in this early Stumblecore classic.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Sindy (2023) After being unable to pay the rent, Sindy moves into a squat with fellow junkie Kendo, turns to vice and crime, and fleeces wealthy debutante Barbie for her jewellery, before being found lifeless in a lift, in Andrea Arnold's haunting portrait of dolls on the edge.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Steptoe and Steel (1976) Dirty cosmic hijinks ensue when the interdimensional rag and bone men strip lead from a church roof. Lead is not amused. Elsewhere, Steptoe is trapped in a Guinness is Good for You poster.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Hemlock Road (1970) The Rolling Stones and friends compare venereal diseases and try on a range of fancy Afghan hats, in this rockumentary shot entirely in a bath in East Acton. The film's release was delayed by two years after Anita Pallenberg accidentally threw her ribcage up.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Tears in Rain (1987) In 2017 AD, eco warrior Helena Bonham Carter teams up with Robbie Coltrane's wisecracking seahorse, in a drowned UK. Standard British dystopian sci-fi, which means everybody inexplicably dresses in 1920s fashions and acts like they've got a mild head injury.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

When Harry Met Sarlacc (1989) Men and Sarlacci can never be platonic friends, thinks Harry (Billy Crystal), as sex gets in the way. Sarlacc disagrees. But how long can the Tatooine pit beast deny its feelings? And will Harry ever allow himself to be digested over 1000 years?

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Raise the Alarm (2005) For many years, crusty skipper Dafydd Jones (Anthony Hopkins) has told of a long-lost Welsh new wave band, said to lie at the bottom of the Bristol Channel. Can shadowy American investors help dredge them from the sea bed? A post-punk nautical adventure.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Un Homme Une Femme Un Café Une Cigarette (1963) Jean-Paul Belmondo and Anna Karina smoke at one another in a Parisian café while filling ashtray after ashtray with lustily sucked Gitanes until they're both engulfed in an immense grey cloud that completely obscures the screen.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

The Oh, Men (1976) A demonic little boy grows up to destroy the United Kingdom, in this classic Brit horror.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

My Dinner With Peter Andre (1995) Playwright Wallace Shawn joins the singer-songwriter for dinner and negligible philosophy, in Louis Malle's arthouse smash. Awkward silences ensue, before Andre saves the day with an impromptu rendition of Mysterious Girl on the spoons.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Tarzan Pulls It Off (1935) When Jane pops out to do some shopping with Cheetah, Tarzan (Johnny Weissmuller) seizes the opportunity for a quiet wank. But he soon discovers there's nowhere to hide in the jungle.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Conan the Psychogeographer (1983) Conan embarks on an arduous journey into the kingdom of Aquilonia to map its liminal spaces and explore his own role in relation to the Ballardian cityscape, in a new six-part series for Radio 4.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Carry On in Midsommar (1969) Hilarious hijinks ensue when the Carry On crew go on holiday to a Swedish pagan commune. While Sid gets his leg over with some naughty Nordics, Kenneth Williams gets his face sawn off, and Jim Dale is burned alive in a hollowed-out Bernard Bresslaw.

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Werner Herzog's The Snowman (1982) "We are not walking in the air but plunging towards terra firma like a parachutist who took the instructor's wife as a mistress. Little boy, here is your lesson in entropy: love gives life. But time destroys all. Your only friend is a puddle."

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Odeon of Death @odeonofdeath.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Werner Herzog's Love Actually (2003) "These moronic individuals tremble like fawns in vicious mantraps of their own making, senselessly screaming into the unutterable void. It would be a mercy to shoot them in the head, yet one feels on some level they would actually enjoy it."

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