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[Fiiiine. No fun, as usual. That might not stop HER once she learns of what Father did to Tia Gloria, though. Just as a general warning.]

000

[What would you plan on stealing? Our abundance of sweets? Wouldn't those get snapped up by your darling father on sight?]

000

[Nigel doesn't apologize, but he snags the book out of the treehouse kitchen and rockets over to the mansion, throwing the heavy book through the glass. SMASH.]

000

[Oh, what, like you wouldn't kill father with any chance you got. Scoff. Fine. He'll just lob the book through the window or something.]

[Good. Maybe Tia Gloria will kill Father, solving more problems.]

000

[Was totally the one to infiltrate the mansion to get the cookbook to give to Gretchen. You're welcome, Numbuh 89, and sucks to suck, Father.]

NIGEL UNO! @numbuh-one.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

💭. . . Something about Numbuh 7 is making me feel a little queasy.

000

NIGEL UNO! @numbuh-one.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

Oh. Right. Today's when the new recruit's supposed to show up. . . [The what?]

000

[Oop. He turns redder than a tomato at the returned affection, a dumb smile appearing over his face. Once distance is put between them, he nods.] I'm glad I could help, Numbuh 362. It must be pretty boring up here, and days can blend together, so I'll make it a habit to visit.

The latter, sir. I'm planning on a calculated attack to catch them off guard. In honesty, they were expecting us days ago, but, it seems our attack ship is down for maintenance. Numbuh 2's working on that. But... their plan. [It makes him sick to even recall.] ++

100

Rach-- Sorry, Numbuh 362, sir. It's Numbuh 1 of Sector V. Scoping out the Mother and Father situation, I do believe we're going to need some kind of back up for when we get in there. [His words are a little too formal, even for Nigel. He's stiff, he's absolutely terrified of what could happen ++

100

[The Communicator at Moonbase blinks with an emergency light. Looks like someone's calling.]

000

NIGEL UNO! @numbuh-one.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

[Also smells what Gretchen is baking, but she asked permission to use the kitchen for that for some reason, so he already knows what she's making.]

000

[Feeling HORRIBLE for Gretchen right now.]

000

NIGEL UNO! @numbuh-one.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

[. . . She should know by now that that particular strategy would NOT work on Father, especially now that he's done something to Aunt Gloria.]

000

NIGEL UNO! @numbuh-one.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

[Trying to think up an attack plan to get Tía Gloria back safely.]

000

SUPER TOP SECRET MISSION TIME, EVERYONE. WE'RE HEADING TO THE DELIGHTFUL MANSION.

000

[Hope he's got his will written out and made his peace.]

000

[. . . Emergency mission time.]

000

[. . . What did you do to her.]

000

Father's up to something. . .I can feel it in my bones.

000

[At the daunting task to try all of it, he stands up to it, and walks over to the table. Surely it couldn't be... THIS good? He's a little conflicted, as he opens up a package. The smell hits him, and he bites into it. His shades fall off his face.] That's.. that's good, that. [BRITISH ++

100

. . . [He's in too good of a mood after seeing Rachel to be mad at her, but confusion laces his features. He takes the box, and looks down the list. No adult propaganda, and it even smells good!] Well, is there room for one more?

000

[Back from Moonbase. What did he miss--Walking up to Numbuh 3.] Hello, Numbuh 3. Do you have a status report of our current state? [He can't expect too much, but it's his way of asking how everyone's doing!]

000

[ 1. It's even ruder to stick his nose where it clearly doesn't belong! 2. Why is he laughing!?]

000

[1. MIND YOUR BUSINESS. WHO ARE YOU, TOMMY? 2. HE'S NOT /AFRAID/ OF ANYONE.]

[Bro, Nigel's LITERALLY off planet. Even if he wasn't with Rachel, he couldn't "back him up"!]

000

Oh, right. There was something else. [He removes his backpack, unzips it, and carefully grabs the bouquet he got for Rachel.] T-these might also need a hiding spot. A little piece of earth to cheer up your day a bit, Rachel. [Blushing like mad.]

000

Well, that's why I labeled the box the way I did. If everyone saw the box normally, you wouldn't even get a crumb. So, I just had Numbuh 89 paint and label it. [While he knows the KND rules and stuff, he's kinda worried that's not something that's allowed, but... he'd do anything for Rachel!]

000

[The SECOND the door closes behind him, a grin is splitting his face.] Rachel. . . are you busy? [CLEARLY he wasn't, since he was, y'know, here.] I brought you some stuff. Might need to find a hiding spot for these. [Gently shakes the box labeled with KND warning labels.]

000

[He's already making his way up to Moonbase, and when he's got the flowers hidden in his backpack, he carries the now-wrapped box up to find his...Girlfriend? Is that-- is that what they're doing now?] "NUMBUH 362, SIR! You have a visitor! Sir!" [The guards to her door talk into the intercom.]

000

[He got flowers for Rachel. . . unsure of how to present them to her without it causing a mess.]

Looks like it. Better reel her in and treat her like crud like you do everyone in your life.

011

She's-- giving Numbuh 2 something in tupperware containers.

000

Yeah yeah, alright. Keep yapping. I'll believe whatever you say when I SEE it. [Doing the "get on with it" motion with his hand.] Anyway, your wife's on our front lawn. Something you couldn't do even with your delightful miscreants and their stupid machines.

000

It was to protect us from you! From... herself, even though she didn't NEED to protect us from herself. Don't adults lie all the time? About literally everything? You might as well be in a play, everything you stupid adults do is an act!

000

Why would she endanger her ACTUAL family like that? Telling them that her dad is a certified MONSTER could have gotten her ripped out of the Kids Next Door and back in your nasty hands! Are you INSANE? Don't answer that, I already know the answer.

000

Your. . .daughter? [Squints.]

000

ANYONE. ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER OPTION, YOU-- BURNT CHICKEN NUGGET!

000

Out of anyone Tía Gloria could be married to. . . why him?

[Staring at her hand. His whole head is red like a strawberry, oh my god?? He swallows back any doubts or fear, and takes her hand.] Then let's try. [A shaky smile appears on his face, as the form of contact he's always dreamed of happens. Oh god, he wasn't prepared for this to happen TODAY.]

000

... NUMBUH 362 I HAVE BAD NEWS.

[A soft groan, as he considers it. Mulling it over and thinking, Nigel begins to pace. He wonders how they could make it work. others would find out, but...would it be such a bad thing?] Love isn't-- something that defiles our standards and isn't... something to be afraid of, Rachel. As long as ++

100

. . . Rachel, it would be supercalifragilistically amazing. [Using the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious should tell you how serious it is for him. And that word is BIG.]

000

. . . [The silence is awkward, and the tension so thick you couldn't cut through it with any sort of blade.] Outlandish. . . but. . . totally amazing. [He finds himself muttering an inside thought, a hand slapped over his mouth.]

000

[A slow, shaky thumbs up. As soon as she's gone. . . he collapses and tries to slow down his heart. Oh god oh god oh god oh god--] [𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐒.]

011

[Watching Rachel try to wrangle Gretchen.] . . . 💭It'd be so so cool to date Rachel, but. . . it's unrealistic and unprofessional. . .

[Wishing he had hair to rake through with shaking hands, he gulps down anything he could say to ruin this, and...wait, why is she smiling like that.] . . . Sir?

[Standing there, red faced and body-twitching.]