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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae]

@nowayray.bsky.social
1.1K followers 1.5K following 7.7K posts

Digital Hedgemage. Writer. Old Dude. GenX. Sailor from the way back. I say random things that cross my brain (aka Shitposter). Fighter against Authoritarianism in all forms. Ally to EVERY marginalized community. Lumon Employee He/Him

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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Tonight's thoughts
Picture of a handwritten journal in cursive:

Tell me your story,
Tell me what is true because of you,
Tell me how you shaped reality,
Tell me of the creations you leave behind
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Pass it on.
A yellow stickie note with handwritten text:

"Create More, Consume Less"
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
People who listen to social media in waiting rooms....
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
BTW - I have Pizza, Bourbon, and Minecraft. The world is my oyster
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Playing Minecraft alone as a self soothing method is 100% normal, amiright?
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
The 10th was still in a coma from her "mild fall down the steps" last night
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
@theonion.com - Can we get some coverage of the new Exec. Order renaming the District of Columbia to the District of Epstein?
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Ohhhh, you mean Lake Epstein?
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
By the time you realize I'm too broken to fix, it'll be too late for both of us
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
"Foreclosing on leftover Chinese food like robber baron"
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I'm the toe hole in the sock you just can't throw away
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
None of my plastic Easter Eggs have hatched yet...
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
"My life as an insolvent lender to well-intentioned stoners"
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
A simple graphic that shows the lettering from a police uniform transformed to a "Police I'SS'" using the Nazi symbol for SS
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Not enough bangers to make a drum circle
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
On this turn of the globe, I'm wandering in a different direction. Next time it spins this way, some of that light may remember me and wonder if I learned anything along the way.
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Turning my most unhinged Skeets into postcards to sell illegally in Times Square
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Machiavelli, but for the Mongolian Buffet
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Testing a new malevolent gaze in the mirror, I was struck by how much damage a single raised eyebrow can do. Tread lightly friends.
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Whatever. [Me standing in front of the open fridge door]
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
All the Devils are throwing a welcome party for Mitch...
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Don't look for me. I'm not back
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Even 12yo me understood twister was being sold as a cover for group sex
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I'm secretly judging you on your nerd choices
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
As the father of two Gen Z age young adults, my advice is "Fuck this fucking idiotic, myrmidon, cultish bullshit of the oppressive Epstein class looking to loot every last ounce of productive capability from your soul before you die in a heap in the street."
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I saw you pretend to care about the Profit and Loss statement and gave you the nod that says "I know we are just resources to be extracted"
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Based on the smell alone, what the actual hell could they have said they were catering??? (Thoughts?)
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
One of us knows what to do with that strange device in your hand.... And it's not me.
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Reposted by The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae]
The Handsome Hobo🇨🇦 @thehobo.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Rolling a Nat 20 on this Dumpster Dive
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I'm like Bukowski but without the talent or the Rizz
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Judge me by the Quote Skeets I left to wither in drafts...
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
WD-40 as a nightcap
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
For the record... #TedLasso is back and I'm here for it
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Nothing to see here folks...
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Sorry can't, too busy undermining my own excuses
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Skipper of Meta superyacht says "Zuckerberg was so high, he wasn't even on this planet" when the call went out so there was no way anyone was getting rescued... [Probably]
Clip of a Forbes Skeet: The Meta CEO Was not onboard his superyacht when a nearby boat put out an assistance call.

[Picture of the superyacht]

Zuckerberg Representative Denies Yacht Ignored Assistance Call From Stranded Boat in Alaska
The Meta CEO was not onboard his superyacht when a nearby boat put out an assistance call
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
From this week's intense D&D battle scene, "Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?"
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
I aspire to the level of quality of History Channel infotainment
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Sorry for the late reply, I was eating crow.
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
YES!! Been doing the reading on this. Don't give two scrawny fucks about how Schumer feels about Platner. This is a valid, credible report of sexual violence from a candidate and is ABSOLUTELY disqualifying. No middle ground. No questions of party or politics. Please file charges immediately.
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
If you were wondering how I feel about our current state of affairs, this is it. We have learned nothing. The same nation that fought to return Ona Judge to George Washington even though she was free and safe in a free state has returned racial violence to the stage 250 years later.
A woman on a DC Metro subway sits surrounded by white supremacists on their way to a rally on July 4,2026 - America's 250'th anniversary of independance.
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Mitch McConnell SURGES in popularity among TTRPG players as his undead body remains in stasis more than 3 Weeks after collapsing. His "Proof of Necromancy" tour of the US Senate has given rise to hopes within the White House and spooked JD Vance and the Second Chaise Lounge...
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Biblically accurate C# Coding
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Multiple independent studies have confirmed "Resting Bastard Face" is a thing
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
There is an entire AI data center dedicated to matching Trumps slide into dementia...
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Having the urge to sneeze with food in your mouth is strong evidence of demonic activity
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
On Americas 314th birthday they would have served free Pie everywhere
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Most of the Manosphere now suspect he was actually close to a female and was somehow infected by her Womb Magic
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The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
11/10
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