The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Tonight's thoughts 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 14/09/2026People who listen to social media in waiting rooms.... 100
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 31/08/2026BTW - I have Pizza, Bourbon, and Minecraft. The world is my oyster 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Playing Minecraft alone as a self soothing method is 100% normal, amiright? 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026The 10th was still in a coma from her "mild fall down the steps" last night 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026@theonion.com - Can we get some coverage of the new Exec. Order renaming the District of Columbia to the District of Epstein? 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Ohhhh, you mean Lake Epstein? 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 30/08/2026By the time you realize I'm too broken to fix, it'll be too late for both of us 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 14/08/2026"Foreclosing on leftover Chinese food like robber baron" 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 14/08/2026I'm the toe hole in the sock you just can't throw away 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 13/08/2026None of my plastic Easter Eggs have hatched yet... 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 12/08/2026"My life as an insolvent lender to well-intentioned stoners" 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Not enough bangers to make a drum circle 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026On this turn of the globe, I'm wandering in a different direction. Next time it spins this way, some of that light may remember me and wonder if I learned anything along the way. 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Turning my most unhinged Skeets into postcards to sell illegally in Times Square 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Machiavelli, but for the Mongolian Buffet 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Testing a new malevolent gaze in the mirror, I was struck by how much damage a single raised eyebrow can do. Tread lightly friends. 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Whatever. [Me standing in front of the open fridge door] 020
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026All the Devils are throwing a welcome party for Mitch... 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Don't look for me. I'm not back 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Even 12yo me understood twister was being sold as a cover for group sex 020
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I'm secretly judging you on your nerd choices 020
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026As the father of two Gen Z age young adults, my advice is "Fuck this fucking idiotic, myrmidon, cultish bullshit of the oppressive Epstein class looking to loot every last ounce of productive capability from your soul before you die in a heap in the street." 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I saw you pretend to care about the Profit and Loss statement and gave you the nod that says "I know we are just resources to be extracted" 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Based on the smell alone, what the actual hell could they have said they were catering??? (Thoughts?) 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026One of us knows what to do with that strange device in your hand.... And it's not me. 000
Reposted by The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae]The Handsome Hobo🇨🇦 @thehobo.bsky.social · 11/08/2026 1182
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Rolling a Nat 20 on this Dumpster Dive 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I'm like Bukowski but without the talent or the Rizz 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Judge me by the Quote Skeets I left to wither in drafts... 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026WD-40 as a nightcap 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 11/08/2026For the record... #TedLasso is back and I'm here for it 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Nothing to see here folks... 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Sorry can't, too busy undermining my own excuses 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Skipper of Meta superyacht says "Zuckerberg was so high, he wasn't even on this planet" when the call went out so there was no way anyone was getting rescued... [Probably] 020
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 09/08/2026From this week's intense D&D battle scene, "Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?" 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 09/08/2026I aspire to the level of quality of History Channel infotainment 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Sorry for the late reply, I was eating crow. 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 07/07/2026YES!! Been doing the reading on this. Don't give two scrawny fucks about how Schumer feels about Platner. This is a valid, credible report of sexual violence from a candidate and is ABSOLUTELY disqualifying. No middle ground. No questions of party or politics. Please file charges immediately. 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/07/2026If you were wondering how I feel about our current state of affairs, this is it. We have learned nothing. The same nation that fought to return Ona Judge to George Washington even though she was free and safe in a free state has returned racial violence to the stage 250 years later. 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Mitch McConnell SURGES in popularity among TTRPG players as his undead body remains in stasis more than 3 Weeks after collapsing. His "Proof of Necromancy" tour of the US Senate has given rise to hopes within the White House and spooked JD Vance and the Second Chaise Lounge... 020
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Biblically accurate C# Coding 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 07/06/2026Multiple independent studies have confirmed "Resting Bastard Face" is a thing 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/06/2026There is an entire AI data center dedicated to matching Trumps slide into dementia... 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 06/06/2026Having the urge to sneeze with food in your mouth is strong evidence of demonic activity 010
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 29/05/2026On Americas 314th birthday they would have served free Pie everywhere 000
The Cynical Platypus [Antifa Ornithorhynchidae] @nowayray.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Most of the Manosphere now suspect he was actually close to a female and was somehow infected by her Womb Magic 020