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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Subject: Memo to staff regarding dairy and non-dairy creamers in staff refrigerator

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

We did a Zoom call during which no participants had their cameras on.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

We think it's best to describe stuff that we know is impossible as "aspirational."

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

You will need to provide the correct account and department codes in order to get reimbursed for your expense. Also: there is no single document I can send you that has all the codes for your reference.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Be sure to have your Big Idea bullet points in by Friday so that we can include them our afternoon thought harvesting exercise.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Rather than state my opinion on your proposed solution to this urgent issue, I am choosing to waste valuable time with process concerns.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

OK, starting now, no more old white guys on the board. [white guy appointed| Starting now... [white guy appointed] Starting now... [white guy appointed] Starting now ...

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I’ve been volun-told to support the board chair’s pet project.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

In this, my good-bye email to staff, I want to share some words of wisdom, say some nice things about those few colleagues with whom I worked closely, and downplay just how lucky I am to get out of here before the shit I created really goes south.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

If you need the money you are not eligible for this grant. If you are already funded, you are not eligible for this grant.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Unfortunately we spent the entire meeting talking about vegan options for the all-staff retreat, so we're going to have to put solving our budget shortfall in the bike rack.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

it's that time of the year again when we have to apologize to our board for paying our employees a living wage.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

We must align. And shift. And pivot. But also transcend. In our space, and beyond.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I want to approach some donors in Silicon Valley. Do we do anything that sounds kind of tech-ish?

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

This coalition has 24 member organizations, every one of which is taking the lead.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Leadership: We show our willingness to seek positive outcomes by cooperatively engaging and eschewing litigation and inflammatory rhetoric Staff: Great, we’d like to form a union. Leadership: We will crush you relentlessly through HR, the press, and the courts.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

The RTO (Return to Office) Committee is recommending that staff go from 2 to 3 days per week coming into the office to do their Zoom calls.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

What follows is our new yogurt container recycling policy.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

We are making space. Also centering. And amplifying. But also listening. While at the same time elevating.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Wanted: Rock star fundraiser to replace the last rock star fundraiser who only lasted nine months who replaced the previous rock star fundraiser who only last two months.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Don't think of this as a Friday. Think of is as the Monday of your working over the weekend.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

HR: This is your regular reminder that staff are not allowed to reference the org on their personal social media accounts. Also, please tweet and share our latest fundraising posts on your social media accounts!

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Program leaders are required to submit their budgets by this Friday. We acknowledge that the budget software IT installed this year isn't working properly but encourage everyone to do their best.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Board packet: "This is too much to read." Executive summary: "Still too much to read." Dashboard: "I don't understand all these numbers." Red/Yellow/Green lights: "Are three lights too many?" Thumbs up/down: "I fear we're missing the nuance."

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

There is a cabinet in the kitchen that contains nothing but half-empty boxes of tea.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

The executive committee has hired a consultant to help us be less shitty to the staff. Until we have some solid action steps, the shittiness will continue.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

I had to cancel my talk because the PPT wouldn't work and I can't possibly discuss this topic without my slides.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

To inspire the team to continue its hard work on behalf of the cause, the board has approved Third Fridays, where we will provide free cheese pizza to the entire staff. Limit one piece per person.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

We think it's unfair that the two people in our remote office have a long way to travel to the meeting, so we're going to choose a location where all 136 employees have a long travel day.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

We thought we had a ghost haunting the office, but then we realized that it was just our strategic plan.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

The best choice for this key position is to pick someone from government who has never shown a talent for anything but survival.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Despite our earlier policy against staff attending the gala, as the big day approaches we’ve decided to welcome any staff members who want to attend, along with spouses, and friends…and anyone they might encounter on the street on the way.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

Staff will no longer be reimbursed for alcoholic beverages, unless it involves a funder--then feel free to go nuts.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

Now that we have more staff working in the office (yay!) we would like to remind everyone about our policy for recycling yogurt containers.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

I love when Saturdays roll around and I can finally get some work done.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

It would be preferable that applicants for this janitorial position have a background in science or social services, as demonstrated by a master’s degree.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

IT is testing a new document software that everyone knows is terrible. The test is only to confirm how bad it is--this transition is happening no matter what.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

A plan is great. A strategic plan is even better. A strategic master plan is awesome. But the strategic master business plan is the king of all.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

Our brand is our strength, which is why there are 27 different versions of our logo, five taglines, three different letterheads, and all variants of personal email stationery.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

Our brand is our strength, which is why there are 27 different versions of our logo, five taglines, three different letterheads, and all variants of personal email stationery.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Our upcoming move is an opportunity to create a workspace that reflects our commitment to openness, creativity and idea sharing. I'm proud to share this design that features cubicles for most, ringed by window offices for directors, with our ED in the corner furthest from the elevator.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 01/06/2026

All employees must track their time in 15 minutes increments for the 32 grants that fund their positions. No further guidance will be given.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Just letting you know that I plan to take this weekend off. But, as always, you know my cell.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

My manager spoke to me about not showing leadership in the tracked comments.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Your org: Get all this work done. Also your org: Attend all these video calls. Also: Board meeting. And: Planning retreat.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

We're hoping that our new Employee Giving Program will help us avoid layoffs as we head toward the new FY.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 22/05/2026

We all have to use these fat blue ballpoint pens because they’re the kind our executive director likes.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

Every year we will announce a new 5-year strategic plan.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

Following an inclusive, iterative process led by a consultant who engages the entire staff, the executive director will ignore everything and write the entire strategic plan over a weekend.

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Shit Nonprofits Say @nonprofitssay.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

We are offering this mindfulness training in lieu of adequate pay and work/life balance.

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