iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

Gen Z stare < Millennial pause < Me saying “umm” 600 times during a podcast

Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

“Ew did you major in BARFOLOGY at Pisspants Pooniversity?” - just came up with this feel free to use if you’re in a roast and can’t think of anything

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

We use to live in a world where people constantly talked about Metallica. Think about that for a while why dont ya.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 16/09/2025

Broski tried flexing on me with a “I play flute in a prog band” shit. lol not gonna work on me brotha mane I know you’re still a dweeb

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 16/09/2025

Coworker called me a “nerd burger” and I been googling it for hours and nothings coming up. Frustrated.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 15/09/2025

Just found out the cryptkeeper isn’t a real dude. Devastated.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

Saw a muffin at my local coffee shop and one thing led to another and that’s how I ate a muffin

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

are there saturday morning cartoons anymore or is it just newsmax now?

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

looking for a meme that perfectly captures when nobody wants to talk about slam metal with me

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 10/09/2025

I wanna thank Apple for inventing the #iPhoneAir the first phone optimized for Italian rage snapping

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 10/09/2025

well week one of my fantasy season is over and I regret to report Carmen Electra still won’t marry me

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

My neighbor won’t stfu about Bad Guys 2 and I’m starting to think he’s recruiting me for a cartoon heist

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

Not mad that the seagull stole my burger, but did it have to mouth “eat my ass” as it flew away? Over the line.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

Wish Newsom would get serious and tackle the rising cost of cold brew in LA

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 07/09/2025

gonna be messed up when they scan my brain and find i got cte from committing to bits

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

pumpkin spice is back again and something something something I just shit my pants #autumn #fallvibes

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

My issue with tennis is that it doesn’t have a stupid name like pickleball. Tennis should change its name to yacht-pong #usopen

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

I auto drafted my fantasy football team and now JonBenét Ramsey is my starting QB 😵‍💫

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 04/09/2025

now that football is back i can finally tell my family to go to hell 🏈

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 04/09/2025

I think Pauly D was patient zero for Italian Brainrot

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 03/09/2025

cardi b won her case which rules. now i just need to win mine against @Wendys for giving me the slip shits and balance will be restored

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 03/09/2025

i like a heat wave because all my gross sweating suddenly tracks

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 02/09/2025

lifeguards say rip currents are gnarly today so i’ll play it safe and continue my lifelong streak of never once surfing

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 02/09/2025

I’m proud to say I spent my Labor Day reading about the Haymarket affair and the Triangle Shirtwaist fire. Just kidding I got drunk and played Smash Bros.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

Went for a walk and a lizard locked eyes with me and started doing pushups which I thought was hilarious until my girlfriend left me for him

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 31/08/2025

I ate the middle of a large pizza and now I’m standing in a circle of crust casting spells for discipline. Friends, who among you will be dipped in ranch?

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 31/08/2025

I bought an Apple Watch to track workouts. I use it to track Domino’s Pizza. At least the delivery driver is getting cardio.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 30/08/2025

ngl today’s been rough. just found out my wife is a copypasta

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 30/08/2025

Just once I need the Super Bowl MVP to say “I’m going to Six Flags!”

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

I don’t treat poverty like a lifestyle. I treat it like intermittent fasting I didn’t sign up for.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

The Starbucks bathroom code is 4897. Just a heads up, turd on floor.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

The dirty looks after microwaving fish at work only make me stronger

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

I think my bidet is gaslighting me? It’s definitely blowing something up my ass, really hope it’s not smoke.

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

fuckos who don’t think I’m a feminist must not know how hairy my pits are

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 26/08/2025

I’m not saying drinking the whole pitcher of mimosas at brunch was a good idea but when you blackout at 10:30am you usually don’t have to pay for your eggs benedict

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 26/08/2025

Called my boss a knucklehead this morning and he kicked my ass in front of the whole Best Buy family

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 25/08/2025

Lost a pancake eating contest to a dog today and I was pissed until I remembered I have two thumbs and will probably live like 50 more years than that fucker

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 24/08/2025

Some drunk asshole just pissed all over my shoes and didn’t even charge me extra

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 23/08/2025

Pretty pissed Nardwuar interviewed Putin but ngl it was impressive that he knew his favorite Black Flag record is Loose Nut

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 23/08/2025

tbh if I actually wore a hat on a hat you all would f*cking love it

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 23/08/2025

I’ve been told to post more engagement bait so I guess if enough folks reply to this I’ll let my kid out of his crate

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

Forgot I had a Cornish Gameboy in the oven and now my kitchen smells burnt Donkey Kong ass

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Nick “Nicholas” Maritato @nickmaritato.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

Anytime I think of a podcast idea I google it and some kid in Long Island beat me to it and stopped after releasing 6 episodes

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