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nerdspikey.bsky.social

@nerdspikey.bsky.social

19 followers 252 following 2 posts

He/Him. A nerdy 37 year old Disabled, Queer, Transmasculine Non-Binary, Autistic Feminist ADHD'er. Also: Human Disaster

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Reposted by @nerdspikey.bsky.social

Complicated Hot Dog Dream @vyria.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

Inspired by @minovskyarticle.bsky.social getting into MtG and enjoying bird cards, I've created this extremely loose and silly primer on all the color identities.

Color identity via birds:
Green: Giant flighess birds kick your enemies to death
White: Lots of tiny birds peck your enemies to death
Black: Feeding blood to your birds to make them better at violence
Blue: Surrounding yourself with birds while you play solitaire
Red: Strapping dynamite to your birds before you send them to your opponent
2 color:
Boros (WR): Your tiny birds have unionized under a large, charismatic leader
Selesnya (WG): Your birds have formed a commune focused on mutual aid and weightlifting

Golgari (BG): You are feeding small birds to your giant monster bird
Gruul (RG): You give your birds cocaine and hammers
Rakdos (RB): Juggalos have given your birds kerosene and matches
Orzhov (WB): You are feeding birds into a woodchipper in exchange for guns and money
Izzet (BR): Your birds have assembled a meth lab with zero safety precautions
Simic (UG): You have genetically and surgically altered your birds to add crab claws and venom sacs
Azorius (UW): Your birds have just returned from law school and are excited to practice
Dimir (UB): Your birds are all zombie corvids

3 Color:
Bant (WUG): Your birds are weightlifting lawyers and are aggressively enforcing HoA
rules
Naya (WRG): Your birds have liberated the zoo and are leading the other animals in glorious revolution
Jund (BRG): Your birds have liberated exclusively the carnivores who are rapidly eating the zoo patrons
Esper (WUB): Despite all outside advice, you and your birds have created The Torment Nexus
Grixis (UBR): You sacrifice all of your birds in a grisly ritual to become a lich dragon
Abzan (WBG): You indoctrinate your birds with Klingon battle-philosophy
Jeskai (WUR): You have given your birds a new kind of steroids that trigger off co-dependence

Sultai (UBG): You are making giant "birds" from a dumpster of discarded biomedical waste
Mardu (WBR): You raised every one of your birds to be Conan the Barbarian
Temur (URG): Your birds have somehow summoned a giant flying snake that shoots lightning
Anyone playing more than 3 colors is a Green player addicted to extreme couponing, or a Blue player who has decided they need the thrill of even bigger Crimes.

521986

Reposted by @nerdspikey.bsky.social

Complicated Hot Dog Dream @vyria.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

Inspired by @minovskyarticle.bsky.social getting into MtG and enjoying bird cards, I've created this extremely loose and silly primer on all the color identities.

521986