iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 3h

I’m just gonna say this. If you are the victim of a significant crime while at school, don’t trust the school to handle it, call the police first. Unless you’re hurt, then call the police from the hospital. Schools will defend themselves before they care about you.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 15h

This man was trying to engineer his way onto the 2028 ticket—probably something he’s been dreaming of since he crawled out of the ooze—and he didn’t have it in him to do his due diligence.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I think the thing that’s offends me the most about this regime isn’t the racism or sexism or any of the evil shit they do. It’s that they hold some of the most important offices in the world and they are completely clownishly incompetent.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

This is why term limits for Congress are a terrible idea.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Chicken fried steak is the worse thing in the universe until you try it.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Turns out eating sliced cheese is easier when you take out the little papers between the slices.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I don’t understand how you can look at what’s happening and be afraid of Palestinians. Israel is committing genocide. And to be clear, it’s not because they’re Jewish. It’s because they are run by right wing lunatics who don’t think people different than them are human.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Dear People, AI isn’t smart. It’s an algorithm that tells you what you’re expecting to hear.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

It’s always weird to me when someone dies and people on socials are heartbroken and I have never heard of them.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I am so tired of people being idiots.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

One of those tiny little fruit flies just flew into my eyeball. What the fuck world, what the fuck?

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I seem to have misplaced my crackers.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Leroy Jenkins is the funniest shit ever.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Smoke detector starts beeping. I get the broom and push the reset button. It still beeps. I get the ladder, and I am not a person that should be getting up on ladders. I get up there and push the reset button. Still beeping. I take the battery out. Still beeping. I can’t figure out how to get the

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I had groceries delivered today so I apologize for the lack of cheese available elsewhere.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Can anyone explain to me why this isn’t just fucking stupid?

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

When you're listening to a podcast and they introduce a guy by listing his drug convictions, his five convictions for various sexual assaults, and then says he is not even close to the worst person in this case, well, you know you're in for a doozy.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I would have so much more money if I just didn’t buy stupid stuff.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I’m being told that it’s not gay until the balls touch. Can I get a ruling on this from the Gay Council?

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Do we know who invented chocolate? 'Cause they deserve to be remembered.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I wish the world would stop updating me on the dating lives of people I've never heard of.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I did not think these words would ever be uttered in this universe, but five guys did not. give me enough fries.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

DoorDash dude delivers a burger and fries. I ask if he needs a photo. He says it’s inside. You have a great day, sir.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If your momma ever says she’s sick of something you did, it is not a smart decision to say “and tired.”

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

My mother goes to the ER. She’s 86 with a lot of health problems. My brain immediately questions whether she ever leaves. Turns out she has spinal stenosis. Pretty good outcome all things considered. I Google the symptoms and they all look familiar. I Google whether it’s hereditary and it is.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I just hope he lives long enough to see his name taken off everything.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The fact that going outside actually does help is, frankly, offensive.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I like to insult people by telling them they’re almost as smart as they think they are, but this guy just isn’t.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I am so very tired of people making lists of the best ever when “ever” is the last ten years.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Why aren’t more people worried about werecats? They’re much more dangerous than werewolves.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I used my mother’s bidet for the first time. I think it’s kinda aggressive.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

If I’m taking a psychological evaluation and my response to the first question is, “ That question is imprecisely phrased,” what are the chances that I am, in fact, autistic?

050

Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

If 20 year old me could only see what other people can see, he’d be disappointed. If he also knew what I know he’d be incredibly angry.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Which do you think would be better lemon limeaid or lime lemonade? We’ll leave Rickey out of it for now. But man, sitting on Nantasket beach with a pint of clam strips, a limeaid, and money for ice cream later. Just the best.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Anyone wanna join my cult? We mostly just experiment with different breads and cheeses in the making of grilled cheese sandwiches.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

It's that ADHD thing where you eat all your fries before you unwrap your burger.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Please just get to the fucking point.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Getting up to pee when you’re still high from the ambien is quite a trip.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Then I thought the aftershave wouldn’t sting so long I couldn’t sleep…

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

This shit it’s so fucking ugly. Color!

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I don’t think we should play the national anthem before every sporting event.

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Reposted by Gregory Lynn

Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Apparently people are sharing this far and wide on social media, which I think is horrible. This could cripple ICE operations. PLEASE do not share this.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

My pharmacy just called to see if I’m going to need a medication next month.

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Gregory Lynn @needfulwords.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

That’s not an agreement, that’s a capitulation.

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