The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Okay, so, apparently. Your wife's wisdom teeth removal is another procedure where it's "inappropriate" to ask for a husband stitch. Take note, gentlemen okay skeet it 110
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 17/09/2026You know what, fuck you- *Sends only your brain 2 years into the future when a common slur has been reclaimed so you accidentally drop it in polite conversation before it's acceptable* 011
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 02/09/2026"Never judge a book by its thumbnail" design a more attention catching thumbnail, idiot. Not all of us have the time to spend on whatever I was talking about 010
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Singing the Kars for Kids song but ending it with "donate your Kid today". Just a little peak into my twisted mind 010
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Kinda fucked up that numbers don't get to be capitalized like letters. Can they not rise to the challenge? Do they not earn that gravitas? 010
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 04/07/2026Pitching a BL one-shot about a boxer and the physical trainer who patches him up called Oof Ouch Yaoi 020
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 19/06/2026"The only person who can judge you is yourself" well guess what this loser got his PhD in 010
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 01/06/2026[twangy podcast intro] Hey guys, I'm a guitar and this is the show where we ask, why does this guy have his fingers all over me?? 010
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 17/01/2026Dropped a glass jar during breakfast. In the ensuing confusion I added granola to my oatmeal thinking it was yogurt. Now suffering this unholy oatcest 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 03/01/2026My New Year's Resolution for 2026 is to not kidnap any foreign heads of state 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 17/12/2025"15 minute city" "walkable neighborhood" you are a fool, I'm moving to the Writer's Block. All my coolest friends are there and they drink every night 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 16/12/2025"Does this media pander to my biases or is it objectively good?" is a question I never ask, due to my being immune to propaganda 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 12/11/2025Met the CEO of feminism last night. She said #AllMen but she just meant her body count 050
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 12/11/2025Absentmindedly pulling toilet paper fibers off my privates until I notice I finished my own bottom surgery 050
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 28/10/2025New PB on my Any% All Glitches Speedcum! Ball clip and ejac RNG manip were ultimately what got me under the 3min mark. VOD incoming for anybody who missed the stream. 030
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 24/08/2025In terms of aura, what is the difference between a chair in a clothing store for partners of shoppers and a cuck chair 110
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 22/08/2025Listening to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social's episode on Mickey7, with one unanswered question burning in the back of my mind. What's the name of the dog snoring on mic?? 110
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 21/07/2025Trying to start a business but my only assets are a decent yeast culture and a willingness to appropriate culture. All my friends tell me this idea is a naan-starter. 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 06/07/2025New position open near you! Childcare Attendant at Omelas, Inc. 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 21/06/2025They should invent a charger my cat doesn't want to eat 010
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 21/06/2025After hurling all my sci-fi short stories into the publishing ether, it's a coffeeshop AU that gets me in the door 😎. Thanks again to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social for supporting this newborn author! 111
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 31/05/2025"You're only ever 4 seconds away from peeing your pants. Not many people think about that. Just 4 seconds between any normal day and a ruined week." Tired Froyo employee - "Sir, both managers confirmed the machine doesn't have a 'Turbo Mode'." 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 28/05/2025Showing the cops my phone: so these are my funniest skeets, as you can see I get a ton of engagement from all my followers. The cop sliding a note to his partner that just says "SCHIZO": Of course, kid. What did you say your dosage was again? 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Trans man who feels like he can't fully transition until he kills a big enough fish. Call him Captain AFAB. Is that anything 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Coworker - Oh yeah, and dental. Gotta have dental. Me, changing my title to "Vibe Manager" in our union contract - Don't worry, it's all in there. 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 03/04/2025Whenever somebody complains about my attention span I pull a little laminated card out of my wallet that just says "sunk cost fallacy" 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 03/04/2025My only regret is that I have but one ban to earn from this discord server 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 01/04/2025Why do Reese's have that little wrapper lingerie on under the foil. I do not want foreplay, get in my mouth 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 18/03/2025"But black people couldn't ___ back then, it's historically inaccurate" And? Why would we let the discrimination of the past affect our media today? Have you heard of this thing called a better world? 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 23/02/2025Listen, I'm not upset. No, really, it's all good. Oh, that healthbar filling up? I'm just cold, that's not about you. We're all good. Idk where that music is coming from. Let's just talk about this. That door closes on its own, that's not me 010
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 13/02/2025My cat, GPT, finishes his breakfast and pukes on the floor. He doesn’t consult the blockchain, so my Ethereum-mining Roomba has trouble finding it. He ignores his auto-petter and AI-generated images of mice, coming to me for attention instead. Doesn’t he know that this is the worst it’ll ever be? 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 02/02/2025CEO of Sweetgreen: You know every food a North American has eaten in their life? Me, a simple rube: yeah? CEO: we don't have that. Pick a keen-wah 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 01/02/2025Me, after heroically shutting down the orphan crushing machine plaguing our streets and setting our society back decades: Whew, glad that's over. Some Tech bro, turning the machine back on without hesitation: Don't worry, this is the worst it'll ever be. 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 07/01/2025Elon has the be the easiest public figure to get a reply from. You could post "idk maybe she's not that into me" and he pops out of nowhere with a "the West has fallen, I'm buying Tinder and calling it XX" 100
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 27/12/2024Kinda twisted that my disconnect-from-reality Device is also my connect-to-reality Device, and women can't even put theirs in their pocket 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 15/12/2024It's the dark souls of open-world platforming. It makes you feel like the hero of your own farm. It's a return to form of the IP genre. There's nothing else like it (except the above). 7/10. 000
Reposted by The Nato TomatoRobert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 05/12/2024as a fun moral question can anyone explain to me an ethical difference between being an insurance company CEO and firing a gun blindly into a crowd 1733059471
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 15/11/2024My wife taught my so many little domestic hacks when we moved in together. Refrigerated bread lasts longer, the underside of the toilet lid doesn't have to be the backboard for piss, glass can often be recycled, etc. Sometimes it's the little acts of love that mean the most! 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 13/11/2024My ideal Escape Room is just the Writer's Room for Yellowstone and I keep pitching "Kevin Costner finds the last Yellow Stone" until they kick me out 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 07/11/2024Today's news of a second Trump administration has been weighing heavily on me. I lost my appetite, don't have the urge to do much, and haven't had an erection in 3 years. What's next? 020
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 03/11/2024Saw a guy in a hot pink hi-vis vest on the side of the highway. Guess he works in Cuntstruction 020
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 17/10/2024Men and women ARE different. If a woman has a chair in her bedroom, it's always full of laundry. If a man has a chair in his bedroom, is always empty until his wife is having sex 110
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 23/09/2024The Needs of Gamers have pushed technology as far as (if not farther than) the space race 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 10/09/2024Thinking about how unique it is of Play-doh to put a safety disclaimer in their slogan, and what other examples there could be. Q-tips - "Keep them out of your ears, you sick freaks" Kleenex - "Always blow with a friend" 000
The Nato Tomato @natotomato.bsky.social · 31/08/2024Thinking about r/showerthoughts. Is the source of those epiphanies just the fact that a shower is one of the few times we're able to let our mind wander? And yes, I had this thought during my morning shower. 100
Reposted by The Nato TomatoJamie McKelvie @mckelvie.bsky.social · 28/08/2024My gut feeling on "worldbuilding" is that it varies wildly by project, but the core of it is establishing enough internal logic that the reader doesn't feel that nothing matters because anything can happen. Internal logic does not have to be the same as real world logic. 1235748
