mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 15/09/2026"Go put the cardinals to sleep, we'll impersonate them!" "The cardinals are asleep." "Your magic is truly impressive." "Magic?" 011
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Doctor Faustus: "Mephistophilis, take me to Rome!" "Done. What do you want to do?" "I want to fuck up the pope." "Don't you want a tour of the sights?" "I really do, but first I want to fuck up the pope." 111
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 14/09/2026I should say: the text is The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlowe, via Project Gutenberg. www.gutenberg.org/files/811/81...gutenberg.org The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus, by Christopher Marlowe 000
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 14/09/2026"Mephistophilis, what is Hell like?" "Oh, it's fucking awful, chief. Torture, torment, pain, suffering. It's as bad for us as it is for the humans." "Ah, yes, the Fields of Elysium, taking my rightful place among the heathen sages..." "Literally none of that is what I said but you do you, hey?" 010
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 14/09/2026"Mephistophilis, what does Lucifer want with my soul anyway." "Oh, you know. Soul stuff. Territory and dominion and shit." "Fair enough." 110
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 14/09/2026"I asked Lucifer and he said ok but you gotta..." "Here is a contract, written and signed in blood, offering my eternal soul for four and twenty years of your service." "This is the easiest payday I've ever had." 100
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Good angel: "This is a really fucking stupid idea, boss." Evil angel: "This is a really fucking great idea, boss." Faustus: "Welp, I'm convinced." 100
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 14/09/2026"Who do you work for?" "Lucifer, obviously." "...can you ask Lucifer if you can work for me?" "Ugh. FINE I guess!" 100
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Doctor Faustus: "Ah, Mephistophilis! You were compelled by my powerful incantation, I see!" "Nah, we just turn up whenever some fucker is stupid enough to renounce God and Heaven." "I command you to meet my every earthly desire!" "I don't fucking work for you." 111
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025"I can't just let him die, though!" "Yes you can." "Good point, well argued." 120
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025The Iliad: "Oh no! Patroclus is going to kill my son Sarpedon! Hera, should I save him?" "Don't be bloody stupid, Zeus." "But he's one of my favourites!" "You rescue your offspring, and every other god will do the same. You'll have no-one left to fight." "Huh. Fair." 120
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025"What about the rest of them?" "The rest of who?" 020
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025"Fuck's sake, Hera - you keep interfering!" "Zeus, you keep letting the Trojans win!" "No, I'm only letting Hector win. Then Patroclus will come out, Hector will kill Patroclus, Achilles will kill Hector, Greeks win! Easy!" "Pretty sure my way is easier." 120
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025The Iliad: "Poseidon, Athena, I am going to seduce Zeus. You help the Greeks while he's distracted." "Hera, that trick never works!" "That trick always works. It's the aftermath that gets messy." (Book 14) 120
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025The Iliad: "Hector. You look a mess." "Apollo? Yeah, Diomedes hit me with a rock." "Well, get up. Zeus doesn't want you to die yet." "If you say so." "Good man." "Wait - what do you mean 'yet'?" 030
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025"This fucking city had still better fall." (Book 15) 020
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 27/10/2025The Iliad: "Poseidon? Zeus wants you to stop helping the Greeks." "Iris, tell him fuck him." "Uh. Are you sure?" "Yes!" "Really sure?" "Um. Good point, well argued. I'll stop for now." 130
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 24/10/2025"Well, Diomedes, this is the forward Thracian camp that Dolon told us about. Lot of nice horses here. Do you want to do theft or murder?" "I choose murder, Odysseus." "Theft for me, then!" (Book 10) 001
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 24/10/2025"I've told you all about the Trojan encampment! Please let me go!" "One step at a time, Dolon. One step at a time." 101
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 24/10/2025"That's what I said, Odysseus. I said, why don't you tell us everything you know, and maybe we won't kill you." "One step at a time, Diomedes." 101
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 24/10/2025The Iliad: "Dolon, I would like to introduce you to my friend Odysseus. Odysseus, Dolon here was prompted by a spirit of curiosity regarding the Greek encampment." "Why Diomedes, that is the same spirit that motivates us! Dolon could make our lives much easier. Or we could make his much shorter." 121
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 22/10/2025"But dad...!" "Not you, Athena. Do what you gotta do." 011
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 22/10/2025The Iliad: I'm reading from the 2023 Emily Wilson translation, which rocks. 021
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 22/10/2025The Iliad: "Alright, dickheads, this has gone on long enough. I want this war done, and I want it done quickly." "Ok, Zeus, what do you want us to do?" "Nothing! Stop interfering! Any of you fuckers so much as touches a Greek or Trojan I will punt you off this mountain myself!" (Book 8) 111
mythicread.bsky.social @mythicread.bsky.social · 22/10/2025The Iliad: "Ok Diomedes: I've given you the divine upgrade package. You will absolutely dominate this battle." "Wow, thanks Athena!" "You'll also be able to tell the difference between gods and mortals. Do NOT engage the gods." "Of course." "Unless you see Aphrodite. Shank that bitch." (Book 3.) 031
