iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 5h

Thinking about having a birthday this week. Maybe Wednesday? People are talking. At least one so far! See?

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 14h

for sale very old shoes worn a lot

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 15h

Here is a piece I wrote for my newsletter about this Mitch Hedberg joke that I love: “I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.” Sign up at Substack for more pieces like this about jokes that I love, if you like! myqkaplan.substack.com/p/mitch-hedb...

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 16h

NYC! Tonight I headline QED as part of my birthday week celebration! Tickets at MYQKAPLAN.com/tour Experience the fun of me having fun with you having fun! #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #jokes #queens

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 16h

Comedy advice: 1) Read all the comedy advice 2) Take all the comedy advice 3) Even if it contradicts itself 4) Don’t read all the comedy advice 5) Don’t take all the comedy advice 6) Especially if it contradicts itself

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

“Every day is an opportunity to win someone over” — Zohran Mamdani on Theo Von’s podcast, a conversation I really enjoyed

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

“Will you define socialism for me, because people say it a lot and don’t know what it is, and sometimes those people are me” — Theo Von “Socialism to me, it means you will have whatever you need to have a dignified life, and that it is the government’s job to deliver on that” — Zohran Mamdani

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

A quick Friday silly. Or whatever day it is for you. Or however serious this is for you. And now it’s not that quick anymore. #jokes #funny #comedy #evelknievel #standupcomedy

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Comedy advice! Upcoming shows: Nov 12: The Roxy, Missoula MT Nov 13: Panida Theater, Sandpoint, ID Nov 14: The Helena Comedy Fest Nov 15: The Comedy Lounge, Boise, ID Tix: Myqkaplan.com #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #jokes #funny

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Just walked past a couple of guys saying “Nobody thinks about you, nobody thinks about me” back and forth to each other, and I’m going to think about them for a while, I think!

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Happy Twordsday! Time for another Thursday wordplay! Comedy shows: Tonight in Altoona PA Next week: Big Sky Comedy Fest Next month: The Roxy in Missoula and Helena Comedy Fest Tix and more info at myqkaplan.com! Hope to see you in Altoona and Montana!

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Senator Schmitt: Isn't it true that you are being deceptive and making a fool of yourself at this hearing? Jack Smith: Is it possible that you are confusing me (Smith) with yourself (Schmitt)?

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

This is my friend Wyatt Cenac! He is a super funny/talented comedian/writer/actor/director AND the most recent guest on my podcast, Broccoli & Ice Cream (🎨: @raminnazer.bsky.social)! We have a great chat. You can have a great listen! 📸: Mindy Tucker broccoliandicecream.libsyn.com/451-wyatt-ce...

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Crime doesn’t pay, but it is more affordable at happy hour. #comedy #jokes #funny #standupcomedy #csi

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Here’s a fun exchange I was a part of the other day. I’m sharing it here, Memento-style. The first image is my final response. Then you get to see what preceded it, ending with my initial fun joke. Important context: I am a comedian. Please enjoy at your leisure!

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Man oh man, am I a man or what? Come see me live in November in MT & ID! Comedy shows at: The Roxy in Missoula MT on Nov 12 The Panida in Sandpoint ID on Nov 13 The Mill in Helena ID on Nov 14 The Comedy Lounge in Boise ID on Nov 15 Hope to see everyone in all these places! Tix: Myqkaplan.com

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Thinking of inventing the swivel COUCH.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Look at the auto suggestions to this email I got. Not as concerned about the robots taking over today! #jokes #robots #funny

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Oh so you’re anti-AI yet you use the letters “A” and “I” to spell “anti”? Very telling.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Performing at an alcohol-free event which is very different from a free-alcohol event.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I love Reacher and I love it even more having learned that Alan Ritchson in real life loves music theater and is excellent at ballet. I hope those skills get put to use in a future season.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

This is my dear friend Liz Glazer! She is a super funny comedian and my guest on this week’s 450th (!) episode of my podcast Broccoli & Ice cream (🎨: @raminnazer.bsky.social )! I love talking with her. You’ll love listening. Thank you. Love you. broccoliandicecream.libsyn.com/450-liz-glaz...

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

It’s weird that flat earth rabbit holes go so deep.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Happy Twordsday! Time for another Thursday wordplay! Featuring Johann Sebastian Bach! (But mostly me, Myq Kaplan, in this fantastic spot.) #funny #comedy #wordplay #twordsday #jsbach

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Next-level Schrödinger: The cat is both inside and outside the box.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

The moment in the “You Can See Everything” trailer where the guy says “I know what you’re feeling” and then Nathan Fielder says “No you don’t” might be my favorite moment from a movie I haven’t seen yet ever.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Get with the times, the Times!

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

This is my friend Hay Beacon! They are a super funny comic with a podcast called “No Contact” where people talk about the people they don’t talk to. Hay DOES talk to me on MY podcast, Broccoli & Ice Cream. Enjoy! 🎨: @raminnazer.bsky.social broccoliandicecream.libsyn.com/449-hay-beac...

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Happy Horse Cow Day! (Today is the Equine-Ox.) Sorry/You're welcome!

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

A real odyssey of a joke, a one-liner that takes two minutes to tell, a joke that should have never been, an impossibility, something out of nothing, verbal alchemy! PS Alchemy is an anagram of Mychael, which is what Myq is short for. Enjoy! #standupcomedy #funny #jokes #theodyssey #standup

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

COMEDY ADVICE: 1) Ask “where are you from and what do you do?” 2) But don’t ask the AUDIENCE that. 3) Ask YOURSELF that. 4) Where ARE you from? 5) Geographically but also emotionally, spiritually.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

One time I posted about how when people spoon, we call one the Big Spoon and one the Little Spoon, but when SPOONS are spooning, they are both the same size. My grandmother then commented, "There is a little spoon also called tea spoon and a big spoon also called a soup spoon. I have 8 of each."

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Tonight: Planet of the Tapes in KY Tomorrow: GreenFare in VA (sold out I believe) Sunday: Cellar Door in MD Eventually: THE WORLD (though all of these venues are actually part of the world) Tix: Myqkaplan.com Art: Robert Potter Photo: Mindy Tucker

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This is my friend Edy Modica! She is a super funny comic with a special called “I’m Just Like You (And It Sucks)” streaming on YouTube TONIGHT! She is also my podcast guest on Broccoli & Ice Cream (🎨: @raminnazer.bsky.social )! 📸: Rachel Coster broccoliandicecream.libsyn.com/448-edy-modi...

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Happy Twordsday, all! Time for another Thursday wordplay! This week: Why is Kentucky like Tofurky? What land should I marry? And more! PS Come see me do shows this weekend at Planet of the Tapes in KY, GreenFare in VA, and Cellar Door in MD! Tix: Myqkaplan.com #comedy #funny #jokes #vegan

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Some ideas for cello album titles: There’s Always Room For CELLO CELLO-brate Good Times, Come On! CELLOciraptor For He’s a Jolly Good CELLO CELLO-phone Call You Say Good-Bye, I Say CELLO #jokes #yoyoma #funny #cello #comedy

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I can’t believe Widow’s Peak won Best Comedy because it’s nothing like The Bear.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Trump did not listen to Macklemore like I wish he would have.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I was just typing “I don’t believe in reincarnation” and it auto-corrected to “I don’t believe in two cats.” Which is weird. Because I do believe in two cats. At LEAST!

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Getting bit by a radioactive spider also may have given Peter Parker the legal know-how of a spider. #comedy #jokes #funny #spiderman #law

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Working on a script for a movie about someone who initially doesn't think they have what it takes to [something] but by the end of the story, they realize that they DO have what it takes, and in fact, it was inside them all along. I don't know if I have what it takes to write this script, though.

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

A fun moment from a fun set at QED Astoria! For more fun moments, come see me this Friday at Planet of the Tapes in KY, or GreenFare in VA on Saturday, or the Cellar Door in MD on Sunday! Tix: Myqkaplan.com PS Context for the end: the man up front to my right is named Mitchell

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Myq Kaplan @myqkaplan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

COMEDY ADVICE: 1) Be born in 1963 in Boston. 2) Be Irish-Catholic 3) Have red hair. 4) Go to Harvard. 5) Write for The Simpsons. 6) Get a late night show. 7) And another. 8) And another. 9) Start a podcast. 10) You did it! You are now Conan O’Brien.

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