iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... After a Judge passes sentence, can you use your "get out of Jail FREE" card or Kohl's Cash for bail?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Do you fold your pizza, eat it straight or use a knife and a fork?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Always get a receipt with a time and date stamp. You never know when you will need an alibi.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Walmart will be opening Dental offices in some of their stores. There will be an Express Lane for people with 12 teeth or less.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... When you receive a telemarketer call, say you are in "home incarceration". Could you bring some beer?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only decades later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance from the government. I don’t have a curfew. I have my own car. I have ID that gets me liquor. I hang with people not afraid of getting pregnant. Life is great!

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Throw Back Thursday? At my age it's more like, Throw My Back Out Thursday.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Football refs should be allowed to tackle a player every once in a while. It would make the game more interesting.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... I went to the doctor. He said, "Don't eat anything fatty." I said, "That's very insulting."

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Do you think the Dutch are mad at the inventor of crocs?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Why is it the moment my head hits the pillow my brain starts debating all of life's choices?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... My wife always says, "With the amount of laundry I do, there must be more people living in this house."

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... I'm a nonviolent person until I see a bug, then I turn into Al Capone.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Things not quite right in your life? You’d probably feel better if you just pooped.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... I spilled my Starbuck's latte and now the ants are lapping it up and doing yoga.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... When shopping at the supermarket, do you take the item in front or take the one behind it?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Did you see the "smile 4 u" I posted about my spine? It was about a weak back.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... How was your day? I reorganized my socks drawer so mine was pretty wild!

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Here's an idea for a new video game: You have to eat as many gas station hotdogs as you can and then locate the nearest bathroom.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... It's not a Federal crime...Go ahead and cut the tags off your mattress and pillows.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... If people weren't meant to have midnight snacks, then why do they put a light in the refrigerator?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... I accidentally wore a red shirt to TARGET. Long story short, I’m covering for John this Friday.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Constipated? It's a shit-uation. Take Ex-Lax. It will knock the sh*t out of you.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Carrying the Torah with Barbara (that my father Rabbi Harry A. Cole) left to me, on Simchat Torah.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Change your password often. Remember, “beefstew” as a password isn’t stroganoff.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... If you are going to sneeze, put your hot cup of coffee down.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... If you hold the gas pump up to your ear, you can hear the shareholders counting their money.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out."

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Talk used to be cheap until someone invented cell phones.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Do you know who couldn’t go for that? Hall and Oates BTW-Don’t forget where your kiss is.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... The waitress said my main course comes with a "vegetable melody". I wonder what song it plays.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Watching the politicians and the news would be a lot more fun if liars' pants really did catch fire.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... I went to get a Flu shot. When I arrived, I saw a sign that said, "Flu Shots in the rear". I thought it was in the arm.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... Hey Cornell. We'd like to read the essays. 🙃

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... My wife washes clothes before donating them. That way, our DNA won't show up at any crime scene.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"smile 4 u"... This time of the year, you go to bed with the windows open and wake up in Antarctica.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... It took Noah 120 years to build the ark because he bought the parts from IKEA.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... I heard that "NSYNC" will be touring. I'm practicing my "Bye Bye Bye" dance.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, I would pick alive that way they can split the check.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... Amazon is listed as my wife's emergency contacts.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... Shakira was charged with tax evasion, failing to pay $14M in taxes. Her "Hips don't lie" but her accountants do.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... I say we change the word enema to enemy and show autocorrect who's really in charcoal around here.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... Why is it when you pull out a tissue, 17 others come along for the ride?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... A man asked me for a dollar. I told him I only carry big bills so I gave him my Cable TV bill.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... If you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, would they fight it out?

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... I didn't know there was a Pringles holder on the treadmill. I thought it was for a water bottle.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... Amazon called to see if we had any spare boxes we could give them.

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Happy Son's Day to my son Adam

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murzy.bsky.social @murzy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

"smile 4 u"... If you fold a slice of pizza in half before eating it the calories are reduced by 50%.

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