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South Carolina Gov. McMaster announces that he's picking Lindsey Graham's sister to finish Graham's term.

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Will Lindsey Graham's funeral be a closed closet wake?

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I challenge one CNN panelist w/moxie to confront Scott Jennings and say "show us your phone with the incoming call from Senator McConnell and the duration of the call. Show me that and I'll resign from CNN. If you won't show us the proof on your phone, then you Scott Jennings should resign."

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Has any doctor tried whispering in McConnell's ear--"there's a black president and he's gonna pick a new Supreme Court judge," to wake him from his vegetative state?

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

We need to send Rand Paul's neighbor on a mission to see if Moscow Mitch has a pulse.

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BREAKING Mitch McConnell update...

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Senate Dems will issue the predictable, cliched, and dishonest tributes to Lindsey Graham. We'll see "statesman, patriotic, and decent" thrown in. I suggest using quisling, apparatchik, and jovial fascist as honest replacements.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

If a tree falls in a forest and hits Mitch McConnell, will we find out Mitch McConnell is dead on next year's Arbor Day?

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Mango Mousilini is at Mt. Rushmore. Here's my Mt. Fuckface, of the 4 branches of gov't (iI added the 4th Estate) for the 4 faces of evil. Trump. Mitch McConnell. Strategist of mendacity & evil. Clarence Thomas. Stupid. Rigid. And his wife. Rupert Murdoch. Without him, we are not in this shithole.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Now with four fresh scents: zesty ranch & smoky bacon, smoky ranch, and zesty bacon.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Can't access my email. Failed to correctly identify Corgi butts.

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Tim Williams Art @timwilliamsart.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

What's green and white and dead all over? The Great American State Fair

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Reposted by CoolHandNuke

We already have data centers.

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After Vanilla Ice dropped out of the Freedom 250 musicfest to "spend more time with his barber" event organizers announced he will be replaced by "Heartless" a Heart cover band, who are the the 3rd most popular "Heart" cover band in SE Arkansas.

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There are times when I catch myself daydreaming wistfully, caught in a wave of nostalgia of simpler, saner, and safer days gone by. Back then all we had to worry about was Hannibal Lecter, people eating dogs and cats, and Arnold Palmer's penis.

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Not pictured--Jesse Watters, who's out in the parking lots deflating car tires so everybody has to stay.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Ukrainian gives thanks at The Zelensky Sculpture of Testicular Fortitude.

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Rihanna Teixeria "wrote" a book "Scriptural Evidence That Trump is Set Apert By God." MAGA bought 2,000 copies. But there's a wee twist/grift, much like Dear Leader's phones, watches, university--all the pages are blank. Be patient MAGA. It's a concept of a book. The words will appear in 2 weeks.

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D.C. police release sketch of reflecting pool suspect. "His M.O. is consistent, and always the same--everything he touches turns to shit. We're calling him the Unibungler," a police spokesman said.

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NY voters told the jars of mayonnaise we're tired of you. We want ragin cajun four alarm good trouble sauce. And the jars of mayonnaise gathered in the corporate pantry and tasted the new sauce. "It's too spicy. America won't go for that. We must dilute this. Our bland brand will win the heartland."

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Name this band? I'll start... The Cartridge Family Shootie and the Blowemaway Fish

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

Me: I need to report a creature on the tv threatening America 911: Can you describe it? Me: It subsists off hate, cruelty and cockroach smoothies. 911: Any tattoos? Me: No, but it looks like a walking, talking botched circumcision.

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The Stephen Miller Band will play Freedom 250 on 4 July. They will join a lineup of Lee Greenwood and Lee Greenwood's gardener. Miller is known for the hits Fly Like a Weasel and Race Cowboy. With the lyrics I'm a smoker, I'm a joker, I'm an asshole, I'm a Nazi, I'm a cuckold and a cruel ugly fuck.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

My mute button is the Carville. When that fucking voice appears on the TV, yep push the Carville button. He's having a meltdown cuz some true southpaws won in NY. James, why don't you, Dick Morris, Gingrich & Dershowitz shuffle off to the island of irrelevant, unwanted toys and play pickle ball.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

The Dumpsterfire of his Vanities. He's going through gallons of makeup, oh, let's call it the Trump foundation, to hide death's impending arrival on his short vulgarian hands.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

A few days ago, I asked 25 random people to define socialism. It was shocking. It was like a pop quiz given in HS, but they'd never cracked open a book. Any book. A fucking derpapolooza of answers. Which only confirmed that this country has an epidemic of assholes, buffoons, & troglodytes.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Bill Maher: Not funny. Not smart Not a pundit. He's the definition of mediocrity. Mediocrity should be called maherdiocrity. He's that old creepy dude at the Playboy Mansion smoking a joint (edgy) with the smug leer using the same stale joke to bag a Playmate. But he goes home with Ann Coulter.

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Reposted by CoolHandNuke

MeidasTouch @meidastouch.com · 24/06/2026

NEWS: In a stunning upset, Mamdani-backed Darializa Avila Chevalier will defeat five-term incumbent Adriano Espaillat in the NY-13 congressional primary. With victories by Lander, Valdez, and now Avila Chevalier, Mamdani went 3-for-3 with his endorsements in New York City's Democratic primaries.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Letters From the Front: The War on Algae Dear Clara Placid, shimmering waters. That has changed. Blooms of decay fill the air, like my basement apt. Vandals hiding in the trees and water. I am the sword of vengeance wrapped tightly in the fist of an angry god, and I just wanna go to Cracker Barrell.

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CoolHandNuke @mrfawkes50.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Went grocery shopping. WTF. Somebody pissed off Poseidon. The seafood prices are insane... Crapulent Catfish $16.99/lb Simplistic Salmon $18.99/lb Mediocre Mahi Mahi $23.50/lb Half-witted Halibut $23.79/lb And Obtuse Barracuda is 24.95/lb. My days of enjoying the dumbest fruits de mer are history.

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The reviews are in. "I'm lichen it. Except for the bigly words"--Eric Trump "He makes me look better every day"--Spiro Agnew "Go fuck yourself, and your couch"--Dick Cheney "He spelled potato right"--Dan Quayle "He doesn't have a pretty mouth"--Ned Beatty "He'd last 4 hours in Appalachia"--Cletus

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The Manchurian Cantaloupe has successfully invaded and acquired Greenland.

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FBI Director Kash Patel has added Algae Green (soul singer and member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame) to the FBI's most wanted list. "The FBI has a long history of going to war against one-cell organisms. We stopped Al G. Capone, and we will stop Algae Green," said Katel.

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