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Misty Layne

@mistylayne.bsky.social
226 followers 337 following 302 posts

Writer, Poet, Film Reviewer Why CinemaSchminema? Because I really would rather be watching this. cinemaschminema.substack.com

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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 7h
Welcome to Day 10 of Halloween Month! Today we have “Häxan”!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Häxan” Is One For The Ages
Or, another of my faves.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Welcome to Day 9 of Halloween Month! Today we have "Dante's Inferno"!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Dante’s Inferno” Had Way More Nudity Than I Expected
Or, are we sure this wasn’t some kind of treatise on kink in the 1920s?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Welcome to Day 8 of Halloween Month! Today we have "Nosferatu"!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Nosferatu” Is Classic Horror At Its Best
Or, meet the nerdiest vampire in existence.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Welcome to Day 7 of Halloween Month! Today we have "The Headless Horseman"!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“The Headless Horseman” Does Not Delight
Or, how to make scary things terrifically dull.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Welcome to Day 6 of Halloween Month! Today we have "Destiny"!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Destiny” Brings Tragic Romance To The Table, Repeatedly
Or, it had to be an anthology...
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Welcome to Day 5 of Halloween Month! Today we have "The Haunted Castle"!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“The Haunted Castle” Has Zero Ghosts
Or, that was far less haunting than I was hoping for.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Welcome to Day 4 of Halloween Month! Today we have "The Penalty," starring Lon Chaney!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“The Penalty” Showcases Lon Chaney’s Talents
Or, a grand revenge plot goes not entirely right.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Welcome to Day 3 of Halloween Month! Today we have one of my favorite films, "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari"!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” Is A Surreal Nightmare
Or, welcome to one of my favorite films.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Welcome to Day 2 of Halloween Month! Today we have "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” Was Unexpectedly Pretty Fantastic
Or, John Barrymore goes ham.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Welcome to Halloween month! This year I’m doing 31 days of horror films from the 1920s. While that means there’s less variety genre-wise, films from this era had so much ingenuity & sometimes absolute wildness that they’re a delight to watch. Hopefully, you’ll find a gem that you’ve missed out on!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Genuine” Disappoints But At Least The Set Is Fun
Or, welcome to Halloween month!
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “Simon Says.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, maybe just lead yourself in a game of Simon Says?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If feminist folk horror sounds like your kind of thing, then you’ll love “Heresy.” The imagery is delectable, the story is quick-paced and meaningful, and it’s one of my favorite horror films that I’ve seen this year.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Heresy” Is A Stunning Example Of Feminist Folk Horror
Or, always go into the woods with the bear.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
“Killcast” could have been interesting if the podcaster had actually investigated anything on her own or done anything other than meet a man, move in with him, and change her life. But no, that & random conversations interspersed with a few killings and a lazy ending are all the audience gets.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Killcast” Is Nothing Like The Description & Poster Suggest
Or, how to make murder boring.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
While “Bombshell Butcher” probably isn’t going to win any awards, it’s pretty decent for an indie film. If you’re in the mood for the rare female serial killer or just wanna watch a woman get annoyed enough to get stabby about it, this one isn’t a bad way to pass the time.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Bombshell Butcher” Is A Decent Watch
Or, when women get stabby.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I’d probably give “The Wave” a flat-out 5/5 if the film hadn’t lost me in a couple of places. It really was just that fun and funny and such a wild ride. If you’re like me and somehow missed this one, I definitely recommend checking it out.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“The Wave” Is A Wild Ride
Or, don’t take drugs from the weird guy at the party.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
If techno-gothic thrillers about the potentially horrifying consequences of parasocial relationships and terminally online life are your sort of thing, you’ll absolutely love “Lenore.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Lenore” Is Creepy And So Apt For The Current Moment
Or, don’t be Max.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
In short, I hated “Phobias,” and I’m very annoyed I didn’t realize it was an anthology, and I dunno, have at it if it sounds like your kind of thing and have fun, I guess?
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Phobias” Made Me 😡
Or, fear but make it not scary.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Melancholy horror like “They Live in the Grey” isn’t for everyone, but it’s so worth your time. It’s a haunting story that will leave you with the kinds of philosophical questions that will keep you up at night.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“They Live in the Grey” Is Breathtakingly Haunting
Or, what it’s like to live in the in-between.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “Into the Night.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, why not to run from the things you’ve done.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I appreciate that the filmmakers had an idea and managed to bring it to life, but it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done a million times before (and better).
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“House Sitter” Is A Waste of Time
Or, seriously, that was it?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
If you love blood spraying everywhere, characters who are sarcastic in the face of death, and/or buff guys wearing black leather, you’ll probably really enjoy this one.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Here for Blood” Might Be The Most Apt Title Ever
Or, a pro-wrestler babysits, and things get incredibly bloody.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “The Heir of Time.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, an animated sci-fi adventure in time jumping.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Soooo, way back in the day, during the original iteration of CinemaSchminema, my buddy, Eric Undead, and I used to do a thing called He Said/She Said (which is exactly what it sounds like). Now, we’re back again to He Said/She Said “Minnie’s Midnight Massacre."
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Minnie’s Midnight Massacre” Doesn’t Suck?
Or, a special He Said/She Said Review.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
While “Live Survival” had minor improvements that made it slightly better than its predecessor, I still say, just go watch the “Rec” films again.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Live Survival” Is Only Barely Better Than Its Predecessor
Or, SUPER ZOMBIES.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Anyway, if you’re looking for good zombie fun, “Live Escape” is not it. Just rewatch “Rec” instead, and enjoy being actually scared.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Live Escape” Is Not Very Lively
Or, “Body Cam” + zombies.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “Any Way Out.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, how to escape an inescapable prison.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
The 2004 adaptation of Junji Ito’s “The Groaning Drain” is really fucking weird and an absolute slog to get through. I have no idea why anything in this movie happened. I recommend skipping this one, but if it sounds like it’s up your alley, then enjoy? I guess?
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“The Groaning Drain” Is Uh....
Or, why? Just why?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
“The Face Burglar” isn’t a terrible watch, but it’s not great either. Fans of Junji Ito will probably dig it, but as far as Japanese horror goes, there are far better movies to watch.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“The Face Burglar” Has Disturbing Themes But Poor Execution
Or, a slippery sense of identity can be a bummer.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Parasomnia is genuinely frightening, gory, and tackles grief in a way that makes it stand out from other grief-driven horror. It’s one of the better indie horror movies that have come out this year, and it makes for a fantastic watch.
flickeringmyth.com
Movie Review – Parasomnia (2025)
Parasomnia, 2025.  Directed by James Ross II. Starring Jasmine Mathews, RJ Brown, Sally Stewart, Stephen Barrington, Simon Longnight. SYNOPSIS: Riley was one of the only survivors of a massacre a…
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “The Littles.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, what’s lurking under your floorboards?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
If you’re specifically looking for fantastic monologues done by talking giant koalas, the latter half of “Dropbear” will right up your alley. For everyone else, I dunno. I still can’t decide whether it was so bad it was good or not, so check it out, I guess, if it sounds like your thing?
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Dropbear” Is The Worst But Also Possibly The Best
Or, what the hell did I just watch?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
If you want a movie about a rampaging animal, “Hippo’s Revenge” is not it. It may have a hippo that kills people every once in a while, but it’s much more a story of people fighting over hippos.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
“Hippo’s Revenge” Is Not About A Hippo Getting Revenge
Or, dumb people doing dumb things, plus hippos.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “The Changing Room.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, I’m never looking in a mirror again.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
If you’re in the mood to see a horror film with “Return to Oz” references that has two of the original story’s beloved characters turning evil, I suppose this one might do.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"The Wizard of Oz: The Dead Walk" Is...Interesting?
Or, "Return to Oz," but make it nonsensical and bloodier.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
“Wizard of Death: Tinman’s Rise” is a bad horror movie, but it’s far better than most public-domain horror offerings are.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"Wizard of Death: Tinman's Rise" Was a Pleasant Surprise
Or, a murderous tinman and a family with issues meet in the wood.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “Greed & Gore.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, money & blood & one bad day.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
"The Harbinger" is still a B-movie, but it’s a nifty little supernatural chiller that has at least one decent kill and even a bit of gore in it. This movie doesn’t necessarily bring anything new to the table, but it’s an enjoyable way to kill an hour and a half.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"The Harbinger" Is A Decent Little Supernatural Chiller
Or, animatronic murder sprees.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Or, sharks on water slides? Yes, please!
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"Water Park Shark" Is So Much Fun
Or, sharks on water slides? Yes, please!
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
If you’re in the mood for a shark movie, “Space Sharks” is not it.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"Space Sharks" Is...Um...Yeah...
Or, a movie about space sharks featuring space plants.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “They’re Coming Tonight.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, are you ready for them?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Beyond that, it’s a horror film that might just leave you unsettled and wondering whether the reality you know is the reality you’ve always been in.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
While it can be a bit of a slow-burning film, “History of the Occult” is an amazing exploration of what can happen when a government takes things too far in its quest for power and how ordinary people might react to that.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"History of the Occult" Unsettles In The Best Way
Or, a government conspiracy, some rebels, and some warlocks.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
If you’re looking for surreal horror that takes you through a nightmarish dream world while leaving you unable to fully tell where reality ends and non-reality begins, “The Dollmaker” is definitely for you. cinemaschminema.substack.com/p/the-dollma...
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"The Dollmaker" Might Give You Nightmares
Or, a man, a woman, a bunch of dolls, and surrealism at its best.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “You’re on Your Own, Kid.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, who decides who the monsters are?
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Half of “Strawstalker” is boring; the other is fun but makes little sense. Every single character sucks, with Haley being the only vaguely likable one. If you love internet horror, you might like this one. Just be prepared for very few scares and a lot of Haley saying, “Henry,” over and over again.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"Strawstalker" Blends Folk and Internet Horror With Middling Results
Or, a scarecrow haunts influencers who would rather stream their demise than put the camera down.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
If you’re looking for a vampire horror film, this isn’t it. “Blood & Rust” is more about Lamont missing his father and forming a new friendship with an older guy who just happens to be a vampire slayer, while finding his purpose in life, than about vampires.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"Blood & Rust" Is Only Sort Of A Vampire Movie
Or, on finding your purpose in life.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “Ignore It.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, omg, just ignore it; everything's fine!
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
“Through the Deepening Night” is an excellent little artsy film with a ton of influences that shouldn’t mesh so well, but somehow do.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"Through the Deepening Night" Mixes and Matches Genres (And Somehow Still Works)
Or, an "Alice in Wonderland" inspired journey into hell (or something like it).
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
“Thine Ears Shall Bleed” is only average as far as horror flicks go, but it at least offers up a more unusual setting than most. Religious horror fans will likely enjoy this one (as I did), but those looking for actual scares or a gorefest might not.
cinemaschminema.substack.com
"Thine Ears Shall Bleed" Ponders the Fine Line Between Good and Evil
Or, maybe don't try to build a church in a forest because you heard a strange sound.
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Misty Layne @mistylayne.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts, where I catch up on the plethora of short films I’m trying to get through! Today, we have “Moving Parts.”
cinemaschminema.substack.com
Welcome to Wednesday Short Shorts!
Or, stop-motion musical gore amazingness.
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