iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Me: Happy 28th anniversary to us! Watch out, Pokemon! We're catching up on your 30 years! Crystal: Mistress, our anniversary was a month ago. Me: So? Crystal: You just want an excuse to celebrate. Me:

static.klipy.com

Pikachu & Togepi: Happy Party Time!

ALT: Pikachu & Togepi: Happy Party Time!

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Reposted by Mistress Aspyce

DollMaidCrystal @dollmaidcrystal.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

28 years since I met @mistressaspyce.bsky.social, and still going strong. 📷 by @blackveilphoto.bsky.social

A sissy rubberdoll kissing the neck of a latex dominatrix

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Me: Doll, did my miniatures subscription service announce the Halloween set yet? Crystal: Yes, Mistress. It's Sisters of Battle. Me: Sororitas!? They just did that! Crystal: Mexican Sororitas. Me: Señoritoritas? What the hell does that even... (Looks at trailer) I want them all. Now.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

It's weird that Aspyce Chorda, my namesake, is no longer going to be an ultra-obscure character, but it doesn't bother me. I have enough presence to still be my own thing. That said, I love the dress they gave her! I may have to cosplay that!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Kill Team: Armageddon might break my 20 year streak. I NEVER play loyalist Space Marines, but hand me a chance to paint ghostie-goos with cool flame effects? I'm tempted.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I asked for a half-pour on Octoberfest. The waitress just handed me a half-gallon stein of ale. This is probably going to be my last tweet tonight.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Crystal: CHOMPF. Me: Crystal! Really!? Crystal: Mistress, if I didn't eat that kielbasa, someone would be attempting to split the sausage at an subatomic level right now. I've already had enough beta radiation exposure for a lifetime.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Oktoberfest is getting derailed by Zeno's Sausage Paradox. None of us want to eat the last of the good kielbasa, so it keeps getting cut in half so someone else will take the last bite.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Me: You named the Not-Aspyce in your novel "Eumachia?!" Crystal: After Eumachia Pompeiia who... Me: I sound like Uzumaki! I don't want to be some Junji Ito's cosmic horror bullshit. Crystal: You could be the Uzumaki who is going to br Hokage. Me: Really? 🤦‍♀️ Crystal: Believe it!!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I just added lime and Cointreau Noir (blended with Cognac Remy Martin) to the Biatch to make an overwrought Margarita. Holy shit. This stuff is going to be a hit at the next Women in Business event like Special K is at the AI bro conferences.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Today on #Mistresseats, I'm trying Biatch tequila. Advertised as the most girlboss tequila anywhere, each batch has been aged in pink wine barrels from Napa wineries. All I know about it is that its market research team understood the fu1q wecking assignment.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

😵‍💫 This is the most confusing thing you have ever written.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

🧔🏻‍♂️: This barbecue is gonna be nothing but American foods! Like hot dogs! Me: Frankfurters are German. 🧔🏻‍♂️: Hamburgers? Crystal: Late-Imperial Rome recipe, actually. 🧔🏻‍♂️: Apple pie? Me: German again. 🧔🏻‍♂️: So what can we eat that's American!? Me: 🤔 Microplastics?

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

(Crystal is out) Me: (Sick downstairs) I want water. (Slowly stand) 🐶: Mommy wants to play? Me: So dizzy... (THUD!) 🐶: 😱 Me: (Crawls on hands and knees back to the couch) Sigh 🐶: 😶 🤨 🤔 (Jumps on the couch) Me: 😴 🐶: 💂🏻‍♂️ Crystal: (Returns) Sleep well, Mistress. Keep up the good work, dog. 🐶: 🫡

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

(At the much) Bartender: And what can I get you? Me: (just took a bite of my sandwich) 😶 Crystal: Mistress will have a pint of Oktoberfest. Me: Thank you, Crystal. Crystal: It's what I'm here for. Me: To be a good slave? Crystal: To steal a sip of your beer. (Chug)🥤

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

(walking 🐶) 🙋‍♀️: Hi, 🐶! (Looks at me) Who are you? Me: I'm his owner. 😑 🙋‍♀️: Really? I thought he was your... husband's(?) dog. Me: I own him too. 😑 (Five minutes later) Me: I swear. Some people. 🙋🏻‍♂️: Hey, 🐶! (Looks at me) Who are you?

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

For everyone rich enough to build a dungeon in their house: Stop painting the walls of your dungeon red! You have a whole rainbow of sexy colors to choose from! Royal purple! Hunter green! Cold slate! You don't always have to paint your dungeon the color of an irritated anal polyp!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I knew Dolly could sing. I mean, she's the only singer I know to pull off a vibrato with a ln Appalachian accent! I listened to Jolene and counted. There are 25 lines in that song where she jumps a full octave, including one double. I thought she was amazing, but that's AMAZING.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Wait. So we don't need Garage Band to make earworm mashups? We could just go do it?!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

(Reads the first draft of Crystal's novel) Me: Did you really name the rubberdoll maid Tiffany? Crystal: Yes. It's a reference to... Me: Am I supposed to like Tiffany? Crystal: I hope so. She's one of the three... Me: Then don't name her Tiffany.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Crystal has been writing a novel based on life in the House of Aspyce. The part that I'm not sure about is that she's changing the names of the book version of us. I'm not sure she should do that. We worked hard to build our brand!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

(Mystery movie night at the House of Aspyce) Crystal: Your popcorn, mistresses. 🧚‍♀️: Is Columbo autistic or something? Me: You're thinking Monk. Columbo's just Columbo. 🧚‍♀️: Do we ever see Columbo's wife? Me: No. She's stuck in the Delta Quadrant, so she's never on screen. Crystal: WOW! Deep cut.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Me (quite drunk): And another thing! What the heck is a dirty soda anyway? What makes it dirty? Crystal: It's just a soda with a shot of tasty sweet cream added in. Me: So it's a Dr. Pepper someone's cum in? Crystal: 🤦‍♀️ Uhhh... Me: I got sissies! I can make that at home!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

One un-shoed paw down, three to go. 🐾

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Crystal: Why were you so adamant about having a date night tonight? Me: I don't know. It just felt right. (looks at watch) OOOOH! 😱 Crystal: What? It's only sev... (looks over my shoulder) Is it our anniversary???😱 Crystal/Me: WE FORGOT TODAY IS OUR ANNIVERSARY!?😱😱

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

(Hanging out at the bar in my usual attire) 👩‍💼🙋‍♀️🧕: Excuse me. Is your dress rubber? Me: Yes, it is. 👩‍💼🙋‍♀️🧕: I could never wear that. It'd show my wrinkles. Me: It's very flattering actually. You see... (Later) Crystal: How was the bar? Me: The usual. I got a room full of housewives into latex.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Me: Crystal, do we have anything in the fridge for #MistressEats ? Crystal: We got soda, OJ, purple stuff, Sunny D! Me: We have purple stuff? Purple stuff is a thing you can buy now? (Runs to fridge) The Purple stuff has VODKA in it!?! Oh hell yeah, we're trying some purple stuff!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

I was expecting to spend all my time on the exodites from the Exodites box, but I'm having too much fun with the orks. It's been a while since I played an ork army. My first-ever army was actually an Evil Sunz warband. They hit fast, hit hard, then ran away like cowards at the first morale check.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I managed to blow up that big contract I was so proud of. I thought I could handle a big queer-run company, but they were something Crystal called "tenderqueer". They needed to be handled completely differently.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Sorry. I really don't like Minecraft. Everyone tells me it's amazing, but all my memories of it are being in a hole staring at the same 16x16 dirt texture.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Just picked up the last Exodite box! No preorder. No reserve. Just walked into the FLGS with pure Main Character Energy.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

(Pulling into the driveway the same time as Crystal) Me: Doll! This week was incessant. All I want to do is ravage a sissy's hole. (Slams Crystal against the car) Crystal: Mistress... Don't... Me: Can't take it? Crystal: We're outside. Neighbors are watching. Me: Oh. Hi, Mrs. McGurk! 🫣

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

I actually hate Pinot, but this one's good. It's fancy. Fancy Pinots taste like Merlot, which is good but not fancy. I think the Pinot is broken. Not this Pinot. This one's good. Pinots in general. You say Pinot, but they're spelled like Peanut. Pinot. Piiinot. Pinotte. Pinot butter and jelly.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

In the corner of the wine cellar, there's a bottle of Pinot from the Price Family Estates at Gap's Crown. I was saving until I accomplish something special at work. Today, I gave Crystal the order to uncork it for dinner. 🍾

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Trolli Gummi Pops promises the wiggly, gummi experience in a popsicle. In this #mistresseats, your favorite dommy mommy is going to be sucking on a long, rubbery phallic object. And this is the ONLY picture you're going to get.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

ROUTINE?! Crystal wrote that our kink life is routine!? Taking my strap is an apocalyptically mind blowing experience! Sex with me is a transformative event, goddammit! Just who the hell do you think I am!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

There is a line between "makes me want to punish you" and "makes me want to explode your head with my invisible mind beams".

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

(New sub at the Femdom munch) 🧔‍♀️: You're Mistress Aspyce? You are so pretty in real life. Me: Thank you. 🧔‍♀️: I've always wanted to ask- Do you have an OnlyFans? Me: 😳 😑 No! Why would I have an OnlyFans!? 🧔‍♀️: Doesn't everyone who's Mistress Something have one? Me: NO! 🧔‍♀️: Can you start one?

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Crystal is still trying to rush her recovery from donating blood solids. Now she's going around punching brick walls whenever she has free time. (Because something bone marrow something Kung Fu.) I hope the manager of the grocery store forgives us.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I've been hired to review and vet "AI Upskilling" training courses. It is harder than I expected. "LLMs mean the computer can truly understand ideas." No it can't! "Computers couldn't create until the 2010s." Tell that to Phillip Glass! "Computers couldn't understand English until 2003." AAAARGH!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

📺: The aliens are coming to rape us and kill our families! Crystal: Mistress, what are you watching? 📺: We have to stop them, but first let's take a shower! Me: Uhh... Serious sci-fi. 📺: Your breasts feel so amazing. Crystal: Her tits look plastic. Me: It's foreshadowing. She's really a Cylon.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

The Miis created a fanclub for me. One of those Miis is puppy-era me! Don't go to a fanclub dedicated to your future self! That's some kind of sci-fi tacky!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Today I donated blood at the local blood drive, and Crystal donated blood solids for the first time. We both learned that Crystal's kung fu sex slave fast healing turns off without enough red blood cells. (Crystal: I hate this. Is this what you always feel like?) And my sympathy for her is gone.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Giant pile of sissies: ...so you should buy a silicone dollsuit for us. Me: No. I like skin contact. Crystal: You don't get a lot of that with me. Me: That's different! Latex is thin and smells nice! I don't like the feel of silicone. Crystal: And my silicone breastplate? Me: That's different!

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

My twink rival came back for another round of bar karaoke, and he learned his lesson from last time. His setlist was all crowd-pleasing pop staples. His fake ID was confiscated, too. That should count as a form of doping for drunken bar karaoke.

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Mistress Aspyce @mistressaspyce.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

My parents have finally left. I can finally enjoy a nice IPA while sitting on a sissy's face without judgement.

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