iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

What if Mr. D specifically mentioned he's an *unlicensed* crotch doctor? Would that make the services he offers legal?

Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

We're a restaurant in the sense that we feed off you. Typically our patrons just can't make themselves eat anything here, even if they try.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

What part of the Human Raxipede is unclear? Mr D. can point you to his many, thirsty illustrations documenting the process if that helps clarify anything.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

We don't just make our staff pee in bottles during their shifts to minimize break time. Oh no, we have far more elaborate plans for those bottles and their contents.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Say what you will, Mr. D has a good feeling about things with this Russian AI catfish chatbot he's dating.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 11/03/2026

Take the Rax quiz! Are you a Wadded Plop type of person, or more of a Plopped Wad sort? Your results will play a critical role in your employment, love life, and ultimate fate.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

Don't worry, Mr. D will just sell his emergency stockpile of Beanie Babies, and the resulting millions in profit will be more than enough to bail Rax out.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

Why do the cadaver sniffing dogs always lead investigators here? And why don't they ever buy anything?

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

No one showed to pick up their 1st Annual Rax Lingerie Awards (the Lingies).

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

It's that time of year again, when Mr. D assumes his alter ego, Uncle O'Deliciousy! Uncle O'D's mission? To represent the naturally green food and drinks here at Rax, which contain no vegetable matter whatsoever. The less you question how this can be, the better for all of us. Dickety go bragh!

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

Mr. D had dreams of achieving something big, like blowing up the sun. But where would he go from there? How would he top himself? So instead, he settled for representing the crappiest roast beef restaurant in the entire Rust Belt.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

For reasons Mr. D would rather not get into, we're no longer able to offer gravy waterboarding as an off-menu item.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 22/02/2026

Until all this snow thaws, we're gonna have refrigeration for a change! Let's see how those hoity-toity bureaucrats down at the health department feel about us now!

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Do you like gladiator movies? Because we need someone familiar with hand-to-hand combat to fight the blood raccoons in our storeroom.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

Don't make us admit why it's okay to eat here during Lent.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

We figured our meat was so toxic to humans that it might make an effective antimicrobial agent. So we liquefied and distilled it, creating a meat bleach called "Meatch." I'd avoid touching, inhaling, or thinking of it for the duration of its half-life.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

We're allowed to say something is taking the world by storm if people have stormed our property to stop it.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Rax Fingerbangerz are the only chicken fingers shaped like real human fingers. Which is frankly to be expected, since we get them from corpses Mr. D has stolen the wedding bands off of. And before you protest, remember that chickens don't even have fingers.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 05/02/2026

They stopped Mr. D two verses into his performance of "Gravy Runs Down My Thighs." But the rest of the audit was just soooo boring.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 04/02/2026

Believe Mr. D, the sneeze guard is there to protect you from the food, not the other way around.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

We don't have a lot of rats here, which is unsurprising if you saw what happened when we fed our food to lab rats as a test.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

Where can we find strippers that regular clubs won't hire for various reasons? Mr. D has an idea that's going to turn Rax around, or get into a lot of trouble trying.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

Chuck E. Cheese is where a kid can be a kid. Rax is where you grow up fast and hard, as cold and disturbing realities about life quickly set in.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

Mr. D messed up, and sent the TV station the folder labeled "Porno" instead of "Promo." Long story short, many Ironton residents learned a lot about German erotic cinema last night, and Mr. D will be busy with numerous hearings over the next few months.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

Trying to rebrand Rax as "Club Puddles" not only exacerbated our problems, it created many new ones.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

If dolphins are so smart, they wouldn't wind up in our Filet O' Mammal.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

We picked the worst time to open a restaurant in Greenland. Which is sad, because by being at the glacier-locked, icy edge of the earth's habitable zone, it would have been one of the more accessible Rax locations.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 15/01/2026

Mr. D lists "beef pervert" as his occupation on his tax forms, because that's what HR here calls him.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

Yes, Mr. D put a small camera into the bottom of your beverage so he could stare into your mouth as you swallowed. But what you have to understand is that it was purely sexual on his part, and he only did it to secretly get off while you drank.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

When Mr. D asks to drink your bath water, what you need to understand is that it's totally sanitary because of the soap! Unlike our own Meatosaurus Rax sandwich, which spends a lot of time under a colored light that we pretend gives off heat.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

Only 5% of our bathroom visitors suffer from catastrophic glory hole failures resulting in total organ severance! Despite all the rusty, jagged metal edges and sharp, crusty buildup, we're still the clear budget choice for your perverse needs. Rax: Wait, we're also a restaurant?!

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

Mr. D is just going to come right out and ask. Can he hunt you for sport? He doesn't have a lot going on now that most of his neighbors have pruned the hedges outside their windows, and invested in thicker curtains.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

We learned that chimps like to eat people's faces, so we made a face-flavored sandwich, marketed towards chimps. The Rax Faces of Deathwich only contains 5% real human face, but has 100% real human face flavor. Mmm... oily! Rax: Oh yes we did.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

Rax is an important part of the food pyramid - the dusty, grey, dried-up mummy right in the middle. Rax: Above and beyond in the field of food preservation.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

Mr. D is starting to wonder if his many legal issues could be helped by not using an attorney who files everything on Shrek stationery. Though he will admit, he did indeed "have a Shrektacular vagrancy trial!"

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

Thank God that awful Stranger Things ending took the public's attention away from our "Filet-O-Food" fiasco.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

Our "Grip the Drip" campaign to promote the Personal Plopper sandwich resulted in obscenity charges. But no publicity is bad publicity! Except any publicity involving us.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

Our business model mostly involves sneaking into other restaurants, hiding until after closing time, and then changing the locks. And through the miracle of squatting, a new Rax is born!

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

And what rough feast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Ironton to be born? It's the Personal Plopper Meal Deal! Pick any eight gravies to plop onto your sandwich, and get the ninth free! Offer void anywhere anarchy has not yet been loosed upon the world.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Things just haven't been going well for us ever since we lost that Supreme Court decision in the case of Rax v. Food.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Mr. D refers to the erotic act as "porking." And when he eats at the same time, it's "pork and beaning." The proof is in the divorce filings presented by Mrs. Delicious to the court.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Mr. D doesn't have to silently ogle you while you chew; he can talk about his controversial opinions re: the melting point of steel if you prefer.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

If Mr. Delicious wears a name tag that says "Daddy," you have to call him that. Don't make him legally change his name when he's not even trying to avoid a creditor.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Many restaurants claim to offer Greek yogurt, but when you read the fine print, it didn't even come from real Greek women. Only Mr. D flies lactating Greek women to Ohio, at great personal expense, so you can get your yog on. Rax: Wait! Come back!

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

If Mr. D's photos of you peeing are in black and white, they're art, not an obscene invasion of your privacy. And he's confident the courts will agree, if he's ever extradited back from his refuge on an oil rig in international waters.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 29/12/2025

Rax is the only restaurant that places a small chair near your table for their mascot to sit and stare at you. Sometimes Mr. D may whimper or touch himself, but not in a distracting way. His therapist calls it "disturbing," but we beg to differ. The cuck chair, only at Rax. Mmm... uncomfortable!

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

There comes a time when you need to settle. And if you're eating at Rax, it's now. Introducing the ButtSteak. 100% pure anus, boiled as close to perfection as we get. Our delicate preparation really lets the taste of butt shine, if that's your thing. It's as close as you can get to rimming a cow.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 25/12/2025

That Claymation Christmas special we made starring the Rax Meat Wads may never get shown anymore these days. But it taught kids a valuable lesson about preservatives and their effects.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

This whole operation is kind of a Ratatouille deal, except the rats are sadists who hate people.

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Mr. Delicious @misterdelicious.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

How is Rax still in business? Every blood moon, Mr. D must wrestle God Himself atop a mountain in the Infinity Void to determine our fate. And it also helps that local political figures share in the guilt for letting us open to begin with.

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