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Mister Oakley

@mister-oakley.bsky.social
19 followers 23 following 89 posts

Procrastinating on my suicide.

PostsRepliesMedia
Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Lying democrat scientists spend their days working on fake vaccines that give you autism. Meanwhile, logic loving republican scientists are working hard every day to invent a new kind of Epstien. And recently it seems, they've really been pumping them out.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
If Isreal has permission to do their own genocide because they went through the holocaust, then homosexuals should also get to do their own genocide. I propose we turn Wyoming into the new Gaza. This will be our revenge for the AIDS epidemic.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I'm hot now btw. In case anybody even cares.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Found out Minion Rush is shutting down, so I downloaded and played the game for the first time in an actual decade. And wow, shut down Temple Run or Subway Surfers instead. This game is actually so based. I will be playing it every day until the end of the month. God bless.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Not beating the eepy princess allegations.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Reading Das Kapital right now, and this shit's boring and hard. Maybe the capitalists are right and we should be letting them destroy our society. Also, I maybe should've bought an English version of the book.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
A second Paul has hit the pentagon.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
RIP Elon, you weren't a real one.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Can't wait for Warren Buffet to die next week. Very exciting stuff.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I'm sorry 9/11. I really hope you enjoyed your last big hoorah, because we have a funnier tragedy now. Your time is gone.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Wild to think that it's been an entire year, and the ballroom still hasn't been finished. I can't imagine how much he's suffered for us trying to make this happen. Saying a prayer tonight for our glorious bullet-dodging president.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My autism level is charging up.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Sitting on a bench at the theater, because I somehow managed to arrive an hour early, and I just saw a guy (hugely fat) walk by me wearing a Letterboxd hat.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Drag queens have been dropping like flies recently.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Locust
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Here's how Ole Viking Savior can still win.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Perfect is the enemy of good, and I'm on Perfect's side.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Sharpie:33333333333
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
This butts for boys
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Alex Jones is like if Joe Rogan and Joe Rogan had a baby.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
We are all evil for being alive.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Hailey Stevens is really carrying the flame here.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Bricked up, ready to get bricked down.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Last night I dreamed that a fat woman choked to death on a ham sandwich.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
118 years ago they killed a man for eating library paste. And people still claim this country isn't fascist. #bookeatersunite
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Cock goblin.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Lindsey Graham diving head first and sliding to cut Mitch McConnell in the line to Hell.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I can't wait for the lady who lost to liquid shit to run again in 2028.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Super excited for McConnell's Not Dead (2027) starring Kevin Sorbo as the man himself.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison! William Henry Harrison!
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
A couple days ago, I met a guy named Kente. I can't believe they named a guy after Nancy Pelosi's favorite piece of clothing.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I was Charlie Kirk before he even died.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Please Nick Fuentes, come over to the dark side. I can wear cat ears and we can make out. Please, you're so hot.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Hunter Biden vindicated in unanimous Supreme Court vote. God bless.
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Reposted by Mister Oakley
shift + alt + t @uncutcock.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Bussymaxxing
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
An entire civilization really did die that night. It just wasn't the one we all thought.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Not only would Scoot have loved to see this, but he was charismatic enough that he 100% could've lured Trump into doing a 1v1 in the ring. #restinpower
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Swear to God, I did not post this. I have no idea how this happened. I would never post something like this. Never in a million years. Please someone explain to me how to delete a post. I don't know how. This is a disaster. Please ignore. It is true though.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
You best believe I got my suit on! I'm naked as I was on the day I was born (And I am jerking it). Happy 21st birthday to me and no one else.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
Hunter Biden 2028
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
When is Bluesky going to incorporate Grok into its platform? The people are waiting.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
You all can thank me come this November when Talarico wins by 7 points.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
Remembering Charlie Kirk this Memorial Day.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
At this point, just do it. Lower the fed rate to zero. Make it negative. I don't care. End it all. Let the fires sweep over us all. Out of the ashes, the strong will rise. Not me though, I'll be dead as shit. I'll be dead in the first wave. Good luck to all you though.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
I love drinking piss.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
I think they should recriminalize gay marriage. Not because I'm homophobic, but because my boyfriend just broke up with me, and I'm pissed.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
I can't believe they would do this. Kash Patel has been cucked. And for what? A ballroom? For shame.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
Femcel is sort of a workaholic. And she's spending extra time at the wrong grind to get to a new bracket.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
In the hospital right now. They got me the heated blankets. They put a little fent in my IV. I am living the dream.
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Mister Oakley @mister-oakley.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Currently sick as shit in the hospital. Trump, please bless me with your healing like you did for Epstein. Make me healthy and virile like RFK. Grant my face with Mar-a-Lago beauty. Or at least give me some of whatever Hegseth has been drinking, and have the nurses put Pulp Fiction on the little TV.
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