Sign in

Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version)

@milesvorkosigan.bsky.social
1.9K followers 1.9K following 5.2K posts

They said I could be anything. And so I became a side-effect.

PostsRepliesMedia
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Unpopular Opinion: Any post office employee who willfully fails to deliver a ballot timely and properly must be charged in their state with felony election tampering as a separate offense for EVERY ballot affected. Fine them to the point where their houses can be seized.
041
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot--is me." --attributed to Drunk Pete.
000
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
021
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
MEN: Lindsay Clancy is proof that women IN GENERAL are too unhinged to be allowed to be left alone with children, or to vote. ALSO MEN: Hey, I don't even go to Cornell! Don't paint us all with that broad brush. Not All Men! Not All Men! And stop naming them! You're gonna ruin their liiiiiives...
062
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The most painful exercises always have the name of an Eastern European country. Bulgarian split squats. Romanian deadlifts. Turkish get-ups. Serbian pretzel twists. Russian hernia squats. Polish face-smash curls. Croatian boiling cauldron lifts. Albanian half-decapitation blade pulldowns....
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Normally, I'd suspect the FBI of trying to scam potential competitors out of the law enforcement dating pool...but under Kash Patel, today's G-Men are more interested in animals than in human women...
gizmodo.com
FBI Warns ICE Agents Not to Trust Any Woman Willing to Date Them
ICE officers on dating apps should be wary of tradwives, an FBI memo suggested, as well as any woman whose profile would "appeal" to them.
2134
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
THANK YOU, ICE CUBE! I knew I could do it, if I put my ass into it.
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
*SQUAWK* Polly wanna cracker! Allo! Allo! You're a birdbrain! *SQUAWK* (Listens to earpiece) What's that? Oh....oops. (clears throat) Arr! Hand over yer treasure, or I'll sliver yer gizzard! Lookit me, I look like Johnny Depp! Arr!
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
By a Show of Hand--ARE YOU MORALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY EXHAUSTED BY THIS ELECTION CYCLE? Thumb = Disagree strongly Index finger = Disagree somewhat Middle finger = Agree strongly Ring finger = Agree somewhat Pinky = Undecided/sipping tea
020
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
My "Beast Mode" has downgraded to "Varmint Mode".
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Talarico-haters bait, bait, bait, bait, bait, bait But he don't mind the hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate He's gonna win the state, state, state, state, state, state So Jimmy up, Jimmy up!
020
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
161
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I took the "What State Motto Are You?" quiz on Quiz Badoobah, and got the result: "Where Douchebags go to College" (Ohio)!
000
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Your annual reminder: OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD.
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
In America, the rich attend $100K/plate fundraising dinners for candidates who promise to cut food assistance.
061
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Hora aderat briligi. Nunc et Slythæia Tova Plurima gyrabant gymbolitare vabo; Et Borogovorum mimzebant undique formae, Momiferique omnes exgrabuêre Rathi.
120
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Sergio Galvez Perez impregnated his 13 year old daughter, kept her away from medical attention, forced her to give birth by the side of the road, and then drove off with her, leaving the newborn to die.
121
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
"I cannot tell a lie" --attributed to America's first President "I cannot tell the truth." --attributed to America's last President. And he's chopping down all the cherry trees, too.
073
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
PROTIP: You can scold someone for being an overly sensitive special snowflake, OR you can flounce and block them. Doing both at once is...kinda silly.
020
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
They'll burn you and they'll say it's just a joke... They'll burn you as you're coughing in the smoke They'll burn you in the hallway during school They'll burn you and they'll say that you're uncool But I would not have insults returned.... EVERYBODY must get burned!
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
"I truly feel that every misfortune in your life has shaped you into someone who can care about those who others see as unimportant, unloveable, or irredeemable. Not that this was MEANT to happen, or your DESTINY, but that this is what you have created from your life."
130
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Hiding Donald Trump in a catering truck is like hiding Pete Hegseth in a liquor cabinet.
031
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
That Awkward Moment when the random Internet sniper = "You psychotically deranged mentally ill putrid scum", and you = "YAY! Now I have a new name for my death metal band feat. Cruel & Unusual Punishment!"
030
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Ruin a first date using exactly 14 words!
110
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Florida Man, Florida Man With machete in his hand Has a brawl, because he can-- --Florida Man. #DammitFlorida #CantTakeYouAnywhere
wjhg.com
UPDATE: Both armed with “fixed-blade weapons” in Publix parking lot brawl, police say
WATCH: NewsChannel 7 has obtained footage of the altercation, recorded by Krichababum’s girlfriend.
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
At this point, I'm ready to take one for the team and admit that only women are responsible enough to be allowed to have access to firearms.
150
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Who needs The Joy of Cooking and The Joy of Sex? Getting pleasure out of those things is easy! What I need is for someone to publish The Joy of COVID; The Joy of Unemployment; The Joy of Not Being Able to Pay Your Bills; The Joy of Racism, and The Joy of Donald Trump Continuing To Be President.
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
According to my 365-excuses-to-party-a-year calendar, today is national orgasm day AND national cotton candy day. Use that knowledge responsibly.
060
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
There's people you encounter on other people's pages, whom you shrug off and ignore. There are some whom you block. And then there are those whom, before blocking, you go to their friends page and block all of their friends, too. All 165 of them. It's the only way to be sure.
020
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
DID YOU KNOW???---Porcupines can be cuddly! www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5I5...
youtube.com
Porcupine who thinks he is a puppy!
YouTube video by desfees
051
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
ON THIS DAY IN 2016: "If you don’t believe this election is important, if you think you can sit it out, take a moment to think about the Supreme Court justices that Donald Trump would nominate and what that would mean to civil liberties, equal rights and the future of our country" --Bernie Sanders
072
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
A Quaker dating site: The Society of Friends With Benefits.
040
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Today I have been given a full serving of Filet of Fail, sauteed with Fail, Fail, Spam and Fail, with a side of roast Fail with high failtose Fail syrup, failed Green Salad with Failberry Failaigrette Dressing, and garnished with a sprig of Fail. Anybody want a bite? I'm full.
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
I just heard cyclosporiasis referred to as "the Taylor trots", and I am dead now.
040
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Socialism is when the government delivers the services you paid for.
0105
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
When you thought it would be easy-peasy, Doc and Sneezy, but it turned out to be arduous-harduous, house-of-cardsuous.
040
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
050
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
070
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Lindsey Graham is DEAD and can't hurt us any more. If you can't say something vicious about him, maybe just don't say anything?
060
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
SCARY FOODS DEPARTMENT:
120
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
NOT EVERYTHING SUCKS: The 21st Century ROAD to Housing Act, passed with a large bipartisan majority, has become law because the only President we have didn't understand that a bill becomes law even without the President's signature if he sits on his haunches for ten days without vetoing it.
260
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Platner is NOT Morris Katz. Platner is Katz's monster. (and yes, astute readers will see that Katz is the real monster)
010
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
0437
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
SONG-O-MATIC: (Tune = Scottish trad., Mairi's Wedding") Make way, mortals–there they go SUVs in row on row Gawking crowds that grow and grow All for Taylor’s wedding They’ve closed 7th Avenue They shut down Penn Station too All day long, no one gets through All for the sake of Tay-Tay
110
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Here it is, the evening of July 2 as I type this, and for the first time in decades, I have yet to hear ANY neighbors setting off pow-pow explosives, not one. One would almost suspect people don't feel like there's much to celebrate right now. And I can't think why.
271
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
DISGUSTED BUT NOT SURPRISED: Republicans now want to force mandatory abortions on all women in the country who are not US citizens. So much for pretending to care about "the sacred life of the unborn".
040
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
HIM: But what if you found out the surgeon who's gonna operate on you was an affirmative action hire? ME: What if you found out the surgeon who's gonna operate on you STOLE the position from a better qualified Black woman because Daddy endowed the new rhinoplasty wing?
091
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Capitalism is Puritanically opposed to "idleness". Therefore, it is fair protest just to take a nap! #SnoozeAgainstTheMachine
061
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
The ketchup's on the wall (Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov) They breached the Capitol (Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov) The coup he oversaw It was a brouhaha The traitor Donald J. Trump
120
Miles Vorkosigan (Taylor's version) @milesvorkosigan.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
NOTHING BUT GOOD TIMES AHEAD: Omigosh, this is going to be GREAT! I hope it's built by the same guys who did the Reflecting Pool, and that all his biggest donors are riding it when the foreseeable results happen.
msn.com
MSN
231