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Mike Beauvais

@mikebeauvais.bsky.social
768 followers 65 following 38 posts
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
[First date] HER: If you had a time machine, where would you go? ME (knowing full well that I would travel back to 2014 to bid on the haunting Baby Grinch doll from the 2000 Jim Carrey movie at a Turner Classic Movies auction in New York City): Ancient Rome, probably.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
ND losing to this USC team to miss the playoff would be the most ND shit imaginable.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
Match of the Year with Will Ospreay and Match of the Year without Will Ospreay needs to be two separate categories for 2024.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
I can't be the only one who thinks if the troops wanted to they could put together a football team and lose to ND by 40-plus.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
Hard to believe that Ryan Williams is 17 and only two years younger than Jayson Tatum.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
Dismayed to learn Pope Francis is on Bluesky. Was planning to declare myself Pope over here and set up my own Avignon.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 21/11/2024
Matt Gaetz has withdrawn from consideration for Attorney General to spend more time with children.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
What are you missing on Twitter, you ask?
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
I wonder if he’s any relation to this Tommy Tuberville.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Now that Inside the NBA will fall under the Disney umbrella, I only ask for one thing.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Urban Meyer, guest picker.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
HOME ALONE 2 (1992), Dir. Chris Columbus
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Look, it’s really easy to make fun of Brian Kelly right now. There’s no “but” here. I just wanted to let you know how is easy it is.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
Boxing is cool because you’ll watch a good fight and think to yourself “Why don’t I watch boxing more often?” and then the judges immediately remind you of why.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
I have purchased Dov Kleiman’s Bluesky account. Hello, I am Dov Kleiman now. Here’s somebody else’s video from Lions practice. 🔥🔥🔥
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
NBA: Raps NFL: Bills NHL: Leafs College FB: *whispers* ND College BB: UConn MLB: Jays WNBA: Toronto 2026 PL: United
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
DONALD TRUMP: I am please to nominate RFK Jr. to head the Department of Health and Human Services. LONG ERADICATED PREVENTABLE ILLNESSES:
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
JERRY SEINFELD: Just follow her on Bluesky. GEORGE COSTANZA: Her handle’s invalid. JERRY SEINFELD: She’s got an invalid handle? GEORGE COSTANZA (slamming table): Invalid handle, Jerry.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
I dunno, I think there’s a difference between an existential struggle for your country’s very existence and the dumb app you post jokes on while sitting on the toilet.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
The best part about Bluesky is having another app to repeatedly close and immediately open again.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
I’m thinking about turning this account into a gimmick account dedicated to how great sports in the 1970s were. Super, even. It’s a brand new idea unique to my mind.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
Before and after I fill my body with The Onion supplements and brain pills.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 13/11/2024
People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive is once again former Chicago White Sox catcher Ron Karkovice.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 13/11/2024
MATT GAETZ (sipping from Solo cup): I’m going to be the Attorney General. HIGH-SCHOOL GIRL: I think Jamie’s parents just pulled into the driveway.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 13/11/2024
The Department of Government Effiency
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 12/11/2024
Things are bumping over on Mastodon.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 12/11/2024
Bluesky: Twitter:
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 12/11/2024
The Holiday Baking Championship is great because you find yourself saying stuff like “If Santa is vacationing in the Swiss Alps, why would there passionfruit in your cake? That’s a tropical fruit, Kyle. Use your head” out loud.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 19/09/2023
Posting on Bluesky about how bad things are on Twitter.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 06/07/2023
I’ve decided to cultivate disparate personas for each one of the microblogging apps since there are like five now. Here, I’m gonna be British. On Threads, I think I’m going to be a diehard CFL fan. On Twitter, I will continue to be miserable.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 06/07/2023
When NBA teams trade future draft picks, they should have to say what they are right now. Don’t say “We traded a first-round pick in 2030.” Say “We traded somebody who is currently 11 years of age.”
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 05/07/2023
Thinking about exclusively using my Twitter account to reply “Was he vaccinated?” to local news stories going forward.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 05/07/2023
We gotta figure out who’s gonna be the celebrity on here whose very following of an accountant indicates how repellent that account is to serve the role that John Cena does at the other place.
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Mike Beauvais @mikebeauvais.bsky.social · 03/07/2023
Finding Twitter mutuals over here.
Alfred seeing Bruce Wayne in Italy at the end of The Dark Knight Rises.
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